It's Everyday with John and Jay
We're the unapologetically raw comedy podcast that’s not afraid to push boundaries. Packed with outrageous skits, off-the-cuff banter, and original songs, John and Jay bring their no-holds-barred humor to everyday topics, wild hypotheticals, and everything in between. Whether you’re here for belly laughs or pure chaos, this is the ultimate shoot-the-shit show for anyone who loves their comedy a little rough around the edges
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It's Everyday with John and Jay
Episode 190: The Browns Won a Game?? Whoa!
The humor starts flowing immediately as John and Jay kick off Episode 190 with their trademark irreverent banter. Jay shares his frustrating experience navigating the business loan application process—a classic catch-22 where he needs capital to start a business but gets asked how long his business has been operating. The absurdity isn't lost on the guys as they riff on the bureaucratic nonsense entrepreneurs face.
Football dominates the conversation as they break down weekend highlights, including several blocked field goals returned for touchdowns. The Cleveland Browns' unlikely victory and the Guardians' remarkable baseball comeback lead to a hilarious tangent about potential alternative team names like "The Lake Erie Stink" and "The Northern Bay Polluters." Their creative marketing campaign for this fictional franchise showcases their off-the-cuff comedic chemistry.
The episode takes a delightful turn when they explore music outside their usual preferences. Junior Brown's unique "guit-steel" playing and classic country humor in "My Wife Thinks You're Dead" earns genuine appreciation from both hosts. They dive into Mr. Bean movie clips, relishing Rowan Atkinson's physical comedy genius in the art gallery scene and amusement park sequence. The guys' unbridled laughter while watching these scenes is infectious and reminds listeners why some comedy remains timeless.
The podcast concludes with a surprisingly heartfelt health update, as Jason shares positive results from his recent wellness check. Despite occasional dietary indulgences, his improvements have eliminated his need for medication—a genuine victory in his ongoing health journey. Throughout the episode, their friendship shines through their ability to pivot from crude humor to sincere moments of connection, making listeners feel like they're part of an entertaining conversation among friends.
Subscribe to "It's Everyday with John and Jay" for weekly episodes that blend humor, pop culture deep dives, and authentic friendship in an unpredictable mix that keeps you coming back for more.
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'Beavis and Butt-head' Cover art created by Joe Crawford
It's everyday with John and Jay.
Speaker 2:Comedy Skits, random bullshit. Tim and Jerry, it's not your day, it's not my day. This is our day. And it's my day. This is our day, and it's every day with John and Jay. You like racy shit, you like problems going on? You like sexual misconduct? You're in the right fucking place. Listen up, you fucking freaks. It is time to get the show on the road. We're ready to hit this episode Of it's Everyday With Jon and Ajay. Let's rock. Hey, what's up everybody? Episode 190 On the fucking mix 190.
Speaker 1:How about that yeah?
Speaker 3:All right, we're here One more time. That's it. This is it. This is our last show. One more time, one more time. No, I'm just kidding, we're going to keep going Until the wheels fall off.
Speaker 2:That's right, so no joke I hope everybody had a great weekend yes, oh, my god, what a busy fucking weekend. I'm so glad finally, dude, I got my application done for my loan okay took me a little bit um any new developments there that you could share they said they're gonna find out what's going on within two weeks and then it's got to go to state for approval because it's through the state of ohio. So I'm gonna wait for that, but already waited, fucking yeah I'll be like you've waited this long, what's what's?
Speaker 3:a few more years, but they better.
Speaker 2:They better know that as soon as that two weeks like on the dot is up. Dude, I'm fucking messaging them, dude are you?
Speaker 3:are you approved or you gotta wait for all. I gotta wait for all this red tape.
Speaker 2:I got to wait for that Dude I had to pay $25 application fee and everything else to get stuff started. What a bunch of red tape. I hate the way it was worded, because it's like hey, you, how long has your business been? No, what do you mean? How long is my business? I'm trying to get a loan for the business to start it.
Speaker 3:How long has it been? Yeah, it's capital. I need capital.
Speaker 2:I'm not coming to you motherfuckers to get more money. I want to get my start money, dude.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I need capital. That's what this is for, fucking dumb dude. They realize this is for capital. Yeah, oh, yeah, oh, I talked to the bitch, stupid man how long has your business been around?
Speaker 2:uh, it's a staple of the community over 50 years. Oh well, so falling on hard times, are you a little bit? Yeah that's why I got flaccid x. That's why I got flaccidx.
Speaker 3:That's why I got Flacidex. I'm falling on a hard time. It actually can be used as an anti-anxiety medicine too.
Speaker 2:As long as you don't mind going through Band-Aids like crazy yeah.
Speaker 3:We do have a new sponsor from the drug Flacidex. You'll hear some words from them. I've used it. I don't particularly care for all the bleeding, but I tell you what it makes. My, uh, my unit work really well, so it does.
Speaker 2:I just can't see it because I bleed through the eye, right? Yeah, I just, I just go blind and then I lose all sensation in my, in my lips but I will say the blood from the fingertips definitely helps fucking uh, lube up the penis and get it going right, right.
Speaker 3:So, uh, if you don't mind a slight lots of blood loss, we highly recommend flaccid x so george bush doesn't like black oh, what a simple, what a simpler time we lived in mike myers, dude that was the funniest shit ever. Back then it's just like what I showed my?
Speaker 2:uh. I showed my kid um. Today I showed her um, beware the eastern nigga. Charlie brown oh, those are classics well, because I use dofusports to watch football, because I don't want to pay for the shit. So absolutely I use dofusports and I plug it to my TV so I can watch it. So I got my phone sitting on a charge stand plugged into an HDMI, going to my TV and I watch football. I'm like, fuck yeah, red Zone, fuck yeah.
Speaker 3:Is it riddled with ads? No, no, not really Okay.
Speaker 2:What Red Zone?
Speaker 3:No, okay, what um red zone?
Speaker 2:yeah, no the no, I mean you, you to get into it, yes, but then when you start like, and then when you choose your, video you have to watch, you get into it.
Speaker 3:Do they lose a lot of the uh streams from like getting it shut down or do that, is it it?
Speaker 5:wasn't bad.
Speaker 3:Today does it run a lot. I was like I know sometimes it'll get yanked and then they'll put it back up. I use crack streams. That's what I use for my not so legally legal streaming. But so yeah, but I use. But dofu sports is cool too but I don't love dofu, but like, the thing I like about crack shoes is that like their streams are like really consistent, they stay up and they don't kind of like, uh, they must use flaccidX. So there you go, tie in our sponsor once again.
Speaker 2:But dope, no, it gets shut down every once in a while, you just find another one.
Speaker 3:You just got to find others. Yeah, you're right, right, right.
Speaker 2:It's pretty good, though, man.
Speaker 3:Have you noticed a difference in Red Zone this year at all? Because they said they were going to put a bunch of ads in it and stuff. I know it's draft kings, there's a lot of draft, a lot of draft like, do they, do they have like full screen ads? Or like like, do they stop the action and go with this, go into ads at all? Okay, I watched it week one and I didn't really notice a huge difference, to be honest with you?
Speaker 2:no, I didn't notice.
Speaker 3:I watched it today okay, I didn't really watch it today I I was just kind of bleh.
Speaker 2:Oh man, there was a couple of Today was like block field goal, return pick six or shit.
Speaker 3:I did see all that. There was like what? Three block field goals. Two of them returned for touchdowns. Big dude number 90. Dude I love seeing fat dude touchdowns, because I'm a fat dude. It was a lineman, he blocked the motherfucker and then ran the bitch in and scored that was awesome dude, the browns were a beneficiary of one of those blocked field goals. At the end of the game they're about to lose.
Speaker 3:They were about to lose. I was like, well, it's only fitting that the browns would tie it and then the packers would march the length of the field, kick a field goal or win. That's, that is a typical browns way to lose. That's how they always lose. Yeah, the browns should not have won today at least.
Speaker 2:That's a gritty window, I mean that's a, that's a defense.
Speaker 3:Was doing great. You gotta give joe flack a lot of credit at the end there because he he orchestrated that drive really well. He's old as fuck, but he's. He's got a good head on his shoulders. He knows what to do.
Speaker 2:So I'm surprised with fucking rogers. I thought he was gonna be washed up like a motherfucker.
Speaker 3:I mean he's doing all right, he's got the Steelers. The Steelers win today.
Speaker 2:One today right yeah, oh yeah, he stomped ass.
Speaker 3:I was watching some of the Indians Guardians game Because another big news in Cleveland sports is the fucking Guardians Dead and buried from like August. Fucking guardians dead and buried from like august. They were 15 and a half games back in the central, the al central. They are one game back now. They could have took, they could have tied it today, but they end up losing the tigers lost.
Speaker 2:I was hoping you were going to say they changed your name back to the indian, that would be awesome, I would.
Speaker 3:I would love to hear that, but uh, but no, they came there. They are within striking distance of a playoff spot. It's, it's a. It's crazy.
Speaker 2:It's like the real major league story there nope, they're gonna be called the cleveland dirty birds, not the mud hens dirty birds, I do. They should call themselves the Lake Erie Stink that would be hilarious the Lake.
Speaker 3:Erie Stink, yeah, the Lake. Erie Stink the Firestarters.
Speaker 2:The Firestarters.
Speaker 3:The Cuyahoga River Fire.
Speaker 2:The Northern Bay.
Speaker 3:Polluters, the Northern Bay Polluters and the Polluters have won the World Series.
Speaker 2:Look at all that trash on the ground. That's confetti.
Speaker 3:And look at that, it's trash night here at the stadium.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you what it'd be cheap, dude, there'd be cheap fucking gifts for everybody. They just take the trash, dump it out and give each person a piece of it.
Speaker 3:Remember the first cool use kleenex. First, 10 000 fans gets to take what was out of last night's game's garbage and you can take that home as a souvenir for one lucky fan.
Speaker 2:We'll even put it in a fucking Ziploc bag that has the logo on it Hand-drawn by the mentally handicapped dude that runs the ticket booth.
Speaker 3:The Cleveland trash polluters.
Speaker 2:Dude. I love it, the mentally handicapped dude that runs the ticket booth. He drew all those pictures, isn't that nice.
Speaker 3:I would support this team 100%.
Speaker 2:These guys are trash.
Speaker 3:Thanks, thanks, you're trash.
Speaker 2:Yes, we are. They serve an insurmountable amount of alcohol, so you get trashed, you get trashed yeah, so it works even better, double on time yes see, this is this is why we should be in major league baseball marketing departments.
Speaker 3:See, they pay they pay dudes millions of fucking dollars to come up with this shit we just came up with.
Speaker 2:This just says pollution, but it's all like wrapped in green and gross and dripping and shit Like a toxic Avenger kind of shit. Oh, dude, I was going to show you. Dude, Check this out. So I know I have a lot of Browns hats, but I kind of like this one because they mix Nickelodeon with it.
Speaker 3:Okay, oh, so fucking awesome. Does it have green slime on it? That fucking does, dude, that's a weird cross. I love that. Nickelodeon with the browns. That's a. That's a weird kind of oh I know because nickelodeon has nfl games now. Like they, they actually show nfl the game, so I guess what yeah you know that, what you didn't know that what.
Speaker 2:You didn't know this Dude. You have it.
Speaker 3:NFL, you know they have like they put like super opposed, like the slide when someone scores a touchdown. They put like CGI graphics of like the slide flying out of the end zones and shit like that. No, I've never seen it, dude.
Speaker 2:Pull that shit up.
Speaker 3:It's actually kind of sweet.
Speaker 2:The commentator should be Michael Malley and Moe Moe should be on the field referencing this shit.
Speaker 3:That'd be awesome.
Speaker 2:What happened down there with the Browns? Tell me about it, Moe hey, Moe. Well, Mike Nickelodeon is showing NFL games.
Speaker 3:They put, they superimppose, a bunch of graphics, so you have to find a clip.
Speaker 2:Slime cannons. Okay.
Speaker 3:That's cool as fuck. Yeah, they put like graphics and shit yeah. So like I think they had like patch the guy who does like patrick's he was doing voiceovers and shit too and they'll do like other, like uh, during the game they'll have like other like graphics, plot fly up on the screen and shit from different nickelodeon characters.
Speaker 2:I know ain't that crazy? Oh, dude, I was listening to bob and tom the other day and they had mark summers on. I know I was listening to that. Were you really? Yes, because I was on the way for some reason I listened.
Speaker 3:I've been listening to a lot of bob and tom lately. I love listening to bob I do every morning and I used to really not like them because they try to like they don't they really tone the songs and the skits down which actually I kind of like. They have more guests on. I like their skits I do. But dude, they played this. They're playing the same skits from like 20 years ago.
Speaker 2:Oh no, it's a. What is it? Pinkly Taurus.
Speaker 3:Yeah, now, every Friday they'll play the beer. I love their dirty shit. Yeah, now, every friday they'll play the. I love their dirty shit. Now, dude, I tell you what their their, uh, their banter is actually really dirty.
Speaker 2:They talk about like dirty shit. It's awesome. You know, what I hate is all the ads they fucking run on there. They do go and get some raycon fucking earbuds oh, omaha steaks okay, dude, yeah, yeah, don't forget to check out. Uh, oh yeah, we got uh mark over here at the fucking omaha steak tackle box desk at the o'reilly auto parts news desk christy lee, but.
Speaker 3:But when they're actually talking federal credit union desk, fuck out of here, we'll see, but we all we got is the flaccid x news decks, the flaccid news decks.
Speaker 2:I don't know the flaccid x the flaccid x news.
Speaker 3:Flaccid x. I don't, I don't know what I'm trying.
Speaker 2:We got our flaccid, ask flaccid the flaccid decks, oh shit, anyway.
Speaker 3:Uh yeah, I've listened to a lot of those guys like just, I'm just getting tired of listening to the same shit over and over in my car. So I'm like you know what? I'll just listen to Bob and Tom, fuck it. But they don't play the songs and skits anymore, but they do it like when the show first comes on the air they'll play like an old skit or song to start the show and then they're like Bob and Tom, bob and.
Speaker 3:Tom, it's the show, and then they're like it's like, here we go. Then chick mcgee brings us into the show. So so here's one of them. Don't do it anymore. No, the one's dead. Yeah, he died. His son does, though, right, josh arnold doesn't this josh one on there yeah I think he's the son isn don't know. Anyway, they're still funny. They have the right guests on that's where I got that one joke.
Speaker 2:What's that? I told you the pigeon joke, right? Uh, maybe it's like did you know that Pigeons die after having sex?
Speaker 3:Oh really.
Speaker 2:The one that I did. That's what they said on there. But they didn't say the up bomb. They said did you?
Speaker 3:guys know that pigeons die after they have sex.
Speaker 2:I think I went really, and he's like well, the one I had sex with did I fucking died man yeah, that mark summers interview was really good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because he was talking about his ocd and all that stuff and uh, what were they saying he was? Ah, but yeah, yeah, that was a good interview. I liked it a lot all right, dude, pull up. Syndrome of a down oh my god, you gotta be kidding me. Syndrome of a down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how do you spell syndrome S-Y-N-D-R-O-M?
Speaker 3:Syndrome. Oh God, I'm scared, yeah, start it Choc-soul. Yeah, this one, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's a made video. It's a fake video, but it's hilarious. It's a made video. It's a fake video, but it's hilarious. It's not a video. Oh, right down there at the bottom, this one, yeah, but there should be another one. I thought Is there like a full video? Oh, go up to the one on the way left. Just try that one. I know it's a short, but angels deserve to die, is that it? That wasn't it. There was supposed to be a whole video, but unless it goes farther into that video oh my god, dude Wow, oh my god.
Speaker 2:No, there was like a whole video of the Syndrome, of a Down video, where they had the Down syndrome people in it and I thought it was hilarious.
Speaker 3:Was it on.
Speaker 2:YouTube. No, it was like TikTok, but it was funnier than hell. It was one of those videos. It was longer than that, it wasn't like two seconds. They just showed Down syndrome kids. There it is, that syndrome kids. There it is.
Speaker 3:That's not short, is it this is like some AI video no right down below, no down one more.
Speaker 2:That one, the one in the middle that says syndrome of a down. That one right there. How long is that? It's 40 seconds, but it's a little bit longer.
Speaker 3:I think that's what I just played. It's just, it's an AI video, so down.
Speaker 2:Kids play system of a down I know I thought it was hilarious. That's funny too, though. All right, dude. So the song that I wanted you to check out, here's a little twist. Okay, it's a little different.
Speaker 2:I don't, I, I fear change country I know this dude's been all spoken and he's very, very conservative. The guy that we're going to play, oh God. But it doesn't have anything to do with conservatives, like it doesn't have anything to do with us. No political shit. It's Jason Aldean, okay, and it's Got what I Got and the song is fucking dude. The way he sings it, the way it plays the bluesy way of it is amazing dude.
Speaker 1:You gotta say goodnight, goodnight, I love you. Shut up Date night on the porch.
Speaker 3:So cheers babe, Cheers Lifetime.
Speaker 6:I love this. She said baby, do you ever miss being alone?
Speaker 2:I love this. I love the way it's sung, like it's just bluesy and smooth. A little different for us. I just like the way it's sung, the way it's just kind of bluesy and kind of smooth, it's not the usual pandering country.
Speaker 3:shit Isn't that the cutest little baby girl.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, Shut the fuck up. Rob kicks him with cowboy boots on. Dude, that'd be hilarious. Throws like a body in a bag over the fucking ledge. Oh my God, he's out on a boat and he just drowses into the water Like it just gets more bloody and violent. Dude, I would love to make a video like that.
Speaker 3:With the cowboy hat on. He's just looking around. He just throws it over the fucking ledge. Kiss me tonight there he is.
Speaker 2:He's like that chick is not dead. Can I say hi, it's the end of night.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yes.
Speaker 2:Oh, they got a fuck right there on the beach oh. The next scene there's three of them. They're sweet kids. Ha ha ha Dude, I don't know what it is. I like the way he sings this song, cause it doesn't sound like the usual country song.
Speaker 3:Yeah, cause you don't? You don't have that fucking sly guitar.
Speaker 2:Fucking steel guitar dude.
Speaker 3:I did notice there was some subtle like electronic beats in the background.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was like.
Speaker 3:There was a little bit of electronic.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I like that one um, you know it did it.
Speaker 3:It salt my fucking ears. So I guess it was. I didn't hate it.
Speaker 2:I'm not a huge country fan either, you know.
Speaker 3:Okay, one dude, I'll listen to this ever again, though, but did I like if somebody, if I was in the car with somebody and they put this on, it wouldn't be make, it wouldn't make me go. Can you fucking change this?
Speaker 2:you know what am I? What am I, oh guys, so this is a country artist. It's like I know I love george schrader. I told everybody that all my exes have both sexes is the best classic only because you fucked it all up junior brown medley, dude, his medley.
Speaker 2:Can you just can you look for that, this dude? I know we probably played it on here like 200 episodes ago, but junior brown his medley, he's got like some medley that he does, dude, oh my god, it's so good. Oh, I fucking love this dude. Not a second one down this one. Yes, surf medley, this dude. He plays steel guitar and regular guitar, but he's a classic old school guitarist. He's so good that's a steel guitar underneath, so he'll change.
Speaker 3:I was showing Joe these dude I do have a soft spot for, like surf rock.
Speaker 2:Oh, this dude's amazing, watch his fingers and shit dude.
Speaker 3:I just see a dude at a cowboy hat playing surf rock. It's just really confusing, but I love it.
Speaker 2:It's awesome. He's an amazing like, almost like rockabilly Is that what it's called? Like almost kind of like a little bit of rockabilly. Yeah, you remember the theme song to Me, Myself and Irene.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:That he sang. Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:I was thinking like Pulp Fiction.
Speaker 2:I would love to see this dude live. I think he's still alive.
Speaker 3:He's still alive. He might be alive I'll tell you he's still alive. God that's so good, nobody's nodding their head or nothing. I want to see what he gets. Gets to the slide guitar, or is this all rock? Maybe it's later.
Speaker 2:He should get into it. Maybe he doesn't, but there is times where he'll swap back and forth. There's the Highway Patrol dude See the bottom right there. Yeah, like swap back and forth. There's the highway patrol dude See the bottom right there.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, rest. I'm the guy who's the boss on this highway, so watch out what you're doing when you're driving my way. If you break the law, you'll hear from me. I know I'm working for the state on my highway patrol. Well, you'll know me when you see me, cause my door's painted white, with my siren screaming and my flashing red light. I work all day and I work all night just to keep in long order, trying to do what's right. If I write you out a ticket, then you better drive slow. I'm just doing my job. I'm a highway patrol. I'm a highway patrol. I'm a highway patrol. Oh, here we go. My hours are long and my pay is low, but I'll do my best to keep you driving slow. I'm just doing my. Here we go that's crazy.
Speaker 3:You can switch between the two, they're just, he's just amazing dude, that's talent I love the skill that's talent man. Yeah, that's, that's talented, man. So you?
Speaker 2:we usually, usually we're listening to like death metal and techno and shit switch a little bit of gears to listen.
Speaker 3:I can recognize music, good musicians, musicianship when I see it, and not only that, I just. I love shit like this, though, because it's just it's just number one. It's easy to listen to, it's kind of fun and it's like like I don't know, it's accessible. I can appreciate this. So, even though it's more surf rock, but it's got a little country twang to it, I like the fusion of it, so it's pretty good. I can recognize good talent when I see it.
Speaker 2:His video to the my Wife Dude. Can we check that out? Don't go to that one, but play the actual music video to my Wife Thinks You're Dead Dude. Oh my God, this is. It's a black and white Yep Top one. I love this video because this girl gets out of prison and he goes. You're wanted by the police. My wife thinks you're dead the whole song. My mom hated this song because he's not the usual Billy Ray Cyrus of the the 90s.
Speaker 3:This dude was okay this video is awesome already. Fucking keystone cop shit, dude I love nightsticks, dude.
Speaker 2:I love the billy clubs.
Speaker 3:Fucking keystone cops Is this actually part of the song, or is this part of the?
Speaker 2:video no, it's just a video.
Speaker 5:Oh, okay, okay, it's good to see you, baby. It's been a long, long while. We're both a whole lot older and seen a lot of miles, but things are really different now since the good old days and you've been in some trouble since. We'll have to say hello maybe some other time. Instead, separate ways, we'll have to say hello.
Speaker 5:Maybe some other time instead, cause you're wanted by the police and my wife thinks you're dead. This is great. Somebody spread the rumor that you had lost your life At least that's the way I heard it and what I told my wife. Are you showing up again? And talk is getting round and I can see that one of us will have to leave.
Speaker 2:I love the cartoony shit. Dude. Junior Brown rocks dude, I'm going to say that straight up. God the dude's just skilled dude. I love his guitar playing man. I could see. I watch this dude in concert any day of the fucking week. Dude, you might see him coming to the ritz I would actually check that out. I ain't gonna lie god dude, I'd love it, I'd buy his tickets, dude I.
Speaker 3:It's the kind of shit they would bring to the Ritz.
Speaker 5:You never called or owed me yeah so yeah, that's good, that's good shit.
Speaker 2:I can appreciate. I love old. I want to see if he's still alive, and now I'm going to check and see if he's got any nudes.
Speaker 3:Jason looks for dudes Nudes. No, I'm just kidding, I haven't had that at all.
Speaker 2:He is still alive. Oh, he's 73 years old.
Speaker 3:Oh man, he could still be performing.
Speaker 2:You never know. I don't see where he is. Junior Brown live and on tour right now. There are seven concerts scheduled across the united states um. The next one is september 19th and down in texas. We're there, let's go, let's go. I want to see, I want to see. Where are they? Where's he playing at? This is the ritz.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna laugh my ass off that would be fucking nutty, though, because I really don't pay attention to who they bring, because it's people I don't ever want to see um, he's gonna be in tennessee, tennessee, kentucky indiana, georgia, north carolina so the closest one would be kentucky, indiana, bloomington, indiana.
Speaker 2:I don't know where the fuck that is, it's a little bit south.
Speaker 3:It's a southern Indiana.
Speaker 2:God, dude, that would be fucking awesome to go see him, dude.
Speaker 3:Well, in the meantime, we have to take a break Sunday.
Speaker 2:October 26th. Okay, let's go, dude. We're there, we're there. I feel like we're there already. We're there already.
Speaker 3:We're going to take a break. You're going to hear from our sponsor and you're going to hear this, and then we'll be right back.
Speaker 4:Let's give our folks a Scooby-Doo ending.
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Speaker 3:Yo what's up? Welcome back to the Best Freaking.
Speaker 4:Podcast it's Every Day with John and Jay baby.
Speaker 2:Listen, you don't keep listening. I'm coming over to your house and licking your wife's asshole.
Speaker 1:Sticking my tongue up on your dirt butt. You got that, motherfucker. Now check it out.
Speaker 3:Hey there, welcome back. What's up Chippawas's up chippewas oh, it's every day with john and jade. We're gonna be here with you every day well, that's what privilege is. Being here is all about so well, we'll be here with you every monday, but you could listen to us every day of the week.
Speaker 2:I'm vicky garrick martin, ranger or whatever the fuck her name is. I'll just watch that. The other day.
Speaker 3:What which one was that?
Speaker 2:I was family values.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's right, that's right I'm vicky martin green.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, because that's what being a privileged young adult is all about. And they jump in the air. Unison, oh my god they played that part so well though yadosh for fucking. Ghostbusters 2 or he's the guy from mr bean from being the movie oh yeah, yeah, he's the dude dude, can we pull up being the movie when he sees the fucking painting after fucking being?
Speaker 2:yeah, that is oh god, oh god, oh damn, oh god, it's the best fucking part of the whole movie. Dude, yeah, that is oh God, oh God, oh God, it's the best fucking part of the whole movie. Dude, oh my God, oh my God, did I love this? Mr? Beat is so awesome. I sit and I look at the paintings.
Speaker 1:I sit and I look at the paintings.
Speaker 2:Rowan Atkinson killed it. Dude, how much snot did you throw?
Speaker 3:I know right I'm surprised that this whoever if this was a really valuable piece they did have some sort of protective like coating on it they just put it in.
Speaker 2:Oh, they do have it to where it slides back. But he's supposed to be so. He is supposed to be the one that, like one of the experts on this painting, brought back over to speak about it.
Speaker 3:So they wanted him to be in the room. I haven't seen this movie in a really long time, so I can't they wanted him to be in the room.
Speaker 2:I haven't seen this movie in a really long time, so I can't. They wanted him to be in a room with it, so that way he could like get inspired.
Speaker 4:Oh fear not, gentlemen with the system we've put in here. Nothing will touch that painting, short of an earthquake that brings down the whole gallery.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, that thing's got to be heavy as fuck.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no doubt.
Speaker 3:Jesus Christ, this is physical comedy at its peak right here. I like when he's at the movie theater, isn't it where he's at?
Speaker 2:like a theater and he's like oh yeah, that's when he goes to the amusement park.
Speaker 3:He's like brace yourself, brace yourself. I want to watch that scene next.
Speaker 2:I'm down for that.
Speaker 4:He's like squeaking, like it's a car dude, oh, oh.
Speaker 2:This is hilarious, right here. Oh.
Speaker 3:Like wait a minute.
Speaker 2:That's actually a genius idea. That's actually really really a minute. That's actually a genius idea.
Speaker 3:That's actually really, really well done.
Speaker 2:Once we've gotten the general safely inside, the key figure security-wise will be Dr Bean.
Speaker 3:Actually it's two Ghostbuster 2 alumni here in the scene.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's the judge yeah. He's also the judge, was also in Scarface.
Speaker 3:The cop, you can't shoot a cop.
Speaker 2:You can't shoot a cop. Well, I thought you was one.
Speaker 3:I thought you was one. Now you want a job. Yes, sir, sure Tony, oh dude.
Speaker 4:Jeez, I love you, oh my god.
Speaker 3:Oh, let me try to redraw it back in or something.
Speaker 4:Yeah, when he puts the face on and it looks like him yeah.
Speaker 2:Dude, I don't know what you would do at that point. You're just fucked.
Speaker 1:Fucked beyond. Everything Seems to be a problem with the.
Speaker 2:David, that's his name, Joey Lawrence's little boy's in this as well. Oh really. Our little brother. I think Maybe it's not, maybe it's not, I don't know. No, it's not. Kid looks like him.
Speaker 1:Where's the picture going? What, what, what.
Speaker 4:Oh Mary, mother of Jesus, jesus of Nazareth. Wait a minute, why am I worrying about this? You did it. All I have to do is go out and tell them what happened, perfect. And they'll say, well, who left them alone with the picture? And I say me? And they say, well, you're fired. I say fire, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Then they say firing is not enough, let's prosecute you for negligence.
Speaker 1:Then I go to jail my wife leaves me.
Speaker 4:My daughter becomes a prostitute. I wind up on death row staring a cell with Butch McDick. I just got to calm down, okay. Okay, give me one more look at the painting.
Speaker 3:I got it, Dude.
Speaker 2:I love his reaction. Let's go to the amusement park, dude. I love it because it reminds me of the end, because the music's the same as the end of Naked.
Speaker 1:Gun the first one. I love LA that song I love.
Speaker 2:LA. He's all bored. Oh, why don't you go get us another ticket, another ride? Go get us another ticket.
Speaker 5:Thank you for taking the ride of peace. Why don't you get another ticket?
Speaker 1:It could be more fun checking time out.
Speaker 3:This is my favorite part Okay, brace yourself.
Speaker 4:Brace yourself, brace yourself.
Speaker 3:Brace yourself. Brace yourself. Ha ha, ha, ha, dude.
Speaker 2:I love his eyes when they're all spread out. People flying all their seats, dude.
Speaker 4:Ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha, oh, dude.
Speaker 2:this is my favorite part too, when I look oh part too, when they look. Oh man dude, when he, when he's doing shit in front of the mirror Because they leave him alone. This would be me, dude. I'm always trying to keep myself busy, right? If there was never, ever, if there was ever a sign of a movie showing mental disorders, it was Mr Bean. He had ADHD like no fucking other dude. This would be me, right here, dude.
Speaker 1:I can't tell you I love this.
Speaker 2:Why does he just do this?
Speaker 4:You willing to take responsibility for his actions?
Speaker 2:Why does he just? He scares the hell out of me.
Speaker 4:And I single-handedly take on gangs armed with AK-47s.
Speaker 5:Get him out of here. Tell him his is a butt I would dearly love to kick, and the next time I will.
Speaker 3:Dude, Mr Bean's a fucking treasure.
Speaker 2:He was. I remember watching the show and I laughed my ass off when he would just take that small ass car but he could never parallel park. The fucking thing. And Bean, the movie is phenomenal. If you've never seen it, check it out, man. Oh my god.
Speaker 3:To me it's a great bit of physical acting, where he doesn't say a whole lot and he doesn't have, to his his expression, say it all and it's.
Speaker 2:it's fucking awesome I think that there's a lot of things where like, there's a lot of times where that needs to like yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3:Sometimes movies and tv they just want to over explain. Give you a bunch of dialogue, give you a bunch of exposition. So just let the scene breathe, and mr b is a great fucking example of just letting the physical expressions carry the scene so fucking good all right, do we also got a couple songs my wife gave us to listen to um? A whole hodgepodge of different shit today. It is awesome, dude. It's a great great podcast um.
Speaker 2:The first song is called Treason by VIA Sky, via Sky, treason by VIA Sky, via VIA, and then Sky S-K-Y.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:I want to violate you.
Speaker 3:I was just going to say it's got a little what the fuck.
Speaker 2:I didn't expect that. I saw that guy at the bar the other day hearing Tiffin God Dude. That's so funny. He looks like a dude that'd be in fucking.
Speaker 3:Bearsden. He looks like every basic bitch dude that lives around here. Yeah, I like the Nine Inch Nails, kind of fucking.
Speaker 2:That fucking industrial beat. Yeah, mixed with a.
Speaker 3:Oh, we got a cleat chorus.
Speaker 2:I think that's the guitarist. That might be the guitarist. From what the fuck? Is it Wage War? Oh, really, let me see here. Is that Luke Shoemaker? Is that what it says? Oh no, he's not, he's just.
Speaker 3:Apparently, we have listened to some of these guys' shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we did Remember. Sarah showed me that VS Sky Losing Sleep. Yeah, sounds like the bleat singer Nickelback singing a metal song a little bit. Holy shit, chicago won today. Chicago beat Dallas today. What the fuck?
Speaker 3:is going on, dude, Dude. Chicago actually looked sad.
Speaker 2:It's crazy how fucking different it is every week. The next song is called Forever, always by Shadows Awake. I love these band names.
Speaker 1:They're going to run out pretty soon. I love it From the dark, from the dark.
Speaker 2:That just goes to show you can Grunt or any song.
Speaker 3:Dude you can't.
Speaker 1:Commanding the dead Sexy.
Speaker 2:I love that slow into the Right. Yeah, she's been bugging me the past week Like did you guys listen to it again? Did you guys listen to it again Did?
Speaker 1:you guys listen to it again. Let go, not in this life, not through the fire, not through the night. Endless love. It carries me Through the silence, through eternity, her touching nights, the air I breathe, her soul, the ground beneath my feet.
Speaker 2:I hope we get to another hard part. I'm afraid it probably does.
Speaker 3:There should be like usually these songs, there's like a really hard bridge section could go in a solo part.
Speaker 1:This has a really like early 2000s kind of feel to it.
Speaker 2:It's like All that Remains. Second album yeah, not the. What is it? Two Weeks Right, it's almost that album. Ooh, I like that background yeah.
Speaker 3:Dude, this is some early 2000s metalcore stuff. I love it.
Speaker 2:I showed Sarah that God is a we is a weapon dude. I've been jamming the fuck out such a good song, dude. I was listening to it on my morning walk the other day.
Speaker 1:It carries me through the silence, through eternity. Her touch ignites the air I breathe.
Speaker 4:Her soul's the ground beneath my feet, benita feet Tra la la.
Speaker 1:Through time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so sexy.
Speaker 2:I like that. That wasn't bad. That's got an early 2000s vibe Wasn't too terrible got a good early sky has anything else too, because I kind of like via sky a lot. Let me check that out.
Speaker 3:Let's look up barbara god is a weapon yeah, dude, that song's rowdy rack he's kind of a dickhole, but dude, he's talented.
Speaker 2:I will admit that Rocky's kind of a dickhole, but dude, he's talented, I will admit that, yeah, I was losing sleep was the one Wake Me Up is VS Guy.
Speaker 3:Was there any other songs? Did we listen to that one? What was it called Wake?
Speaker 2:Me Up For a go-go.
Speaker 3:I was thinking the same thing. Jeterbog, jeterbog, you put the bo, boom, boom into my heart.
Speaker 1:It's Terminator. I should say it has like a kind of a Terminator vibe. I don't know what he said.
Speaker 2:Man, that's low.
Speaker 5:What was that? We were made? To rise, subject to change, to become heroes of our destiny, to reoccur with the state of bliss A gift of grace, a lotus kiss.
Speaker 3:We will rule the world I don't know why that makes me laugh. Was that low?
Speaker 2:Yeah I don't know man, it sounds funny. Rawr, rawr, I don't know. I like them. They're cool.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they're cool. Just that growling part made me laugh. Though I don't know, I like them, they're cool. Yeah, they're cool. Just that growling part made me laugh, though I don't know what.
Speaker 2:The fuck so, dude, we had a blast man this weekend, dude, it was a lot of fun.
Speaker 3:It sounded like you were busy as fuck yeah dude.
Speaker 2:I got that done. And also I got charged for a wellness check for my insurance. Oh, I didn't even tell you this dude Went to the doctor to Brett. Yeah, I am no joke, he goes. Oh, I got weighed. It was funnier than hell, dude. I had the girls laughing at the doctor's office because I went in there right after work. I just ate lunch because I got paid two hours off of work to go get a wellness check okay, they pay me.
Speaker 3:I gotta get one too, because my preview I get like a 50 deduction. That's what we do, and if I don't get a physical, I get 50 added on to my preview.
Speaker 2:So I I got a physical, scheduled like a couple weeks so I went in there and, um, they're like, all right, hop on. Well, first I get in there and the lady at the front desk is like there's nobody in the fucking waiting room. But I'm early, my appointment was at 240. I'm there at like 2 o'clock. She goes well, there are appointments ahead of you that are scheduled, so you might have to wait. I'm like, okay, and a girl behind her.
Speaker 2:that's fucking she's smoke show, looks at our, looks up at me, she goes, she goes, and I looked up and I and I started, I started laughing and the lady goes. Is she doing something behind my back? I said she just went, that's because I know her good, good, save, yeah I didn't want to get her in trouble yeah, good save that's real teamwork. You know, bitch, and I'm, like god, one of those people.
Speaker 2:Oh man, fuck you that woman, the woman on the left hand side of the desk yeah yeah, she's kind of a troll dude is that the one with glasses and the fucking curly hair? Yeah, she's a troll, bro. Yeah, but the one. The one I was dealing with was, uh, like she was straight behind her young chick. Yeah, pretty hot, right, right. I'm like damn, I kept looking at her ass and I'm fucking them.
Speaker 2:Fucking, uh, nurse pants I don't give a shit, dude, if you got an ass, I'm looking at it. So, um, so, anyway, she, uh, I get on the scale and she's training somebody another hot girl too, which is awesome, but anyway, she's training somebody in there. They get me on the scale and she's training somebody another hot girl too, which is awesome, but anyway, she's training somebody in there. They get me on the scale and it comes up. It says 274. And I was like I had a big lunch, I had a fucking laughing dude. And then we went into the room and they're talking to me and and I said, uh, I said no joke, I had candy's party sat Sunday, which I didn't hold back. I ate pizza and fucking lasagna and fucking fettuccine and cupcakes, dude, I didn't hold back at all Sounds so good.
Speaker 2:I've been Taco Belling like maybe once a week so I haven't been eating the best and I'm like expecting some issues. So I told him I said yeah, said yeah, I said I've been. You know, taco bell opened and my wife wants to go, so we go. And I said it's fucking like so did you gain a bunch of weight or no? Uh, no joke. I was really surprised. So I get done. And I told him I said like so have you? Are you still on your medication? So I was on the torvistan and Janumat.
Speaker 2:And uh yeah, pre-diabetic shit or whatever, and they're like uh, I said no and I lied I told him it was only a month, but I haven't been on that shit for like four or five, six months, you know just to have. I ran out and I just like I'm not fucking with Express Scripts, I told him.
Speaker 3:I said they're the worst dude.
Speaker 2:I'm not dealing with express groups I said they're the devil and I'm good, suck ass there's a time warner cable of goddamn prescription, so it's an app description. So I told him that and they're like, okay, you know blah blah. And they're like he'll be in to see you in a little, you know a couple minutes. So I'm sitting there. You know, about 10 minutes later he comes in. He's like what's up, man, you know, dude, I love brad dude he's just so I had.
Speaker 3:I just see what I was sick a few weeks ago because uh, uh step.
Speaker 2:Was it stephanie?
Speaker 3:yeah, she was out or she was off, so I love brad's cool as fuck yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:So he comes in. He's like what's up, man, how's everything going? Blah, blah, blah and he goes, he goes. I'm gonna be straight up with you. Everything, everything looks amazing, everything looks great, he goes. Your A1C is down to five, which is amazing, that's sweet dude.
Speaker 2:He goes. Your A1C is down to five, he goes. Your cholesterol, blood pressure, everything has went down substantially. You've lost more weight, he goes. Got your blood work back. There's no issues there he goes. The only thing that really didn't change a lot was your bad cholesterol, but it went down, but just didn't go down like everything else, as much as everything else. So he's like that's the only thing that there was there was an issue with and I said well, I haven't been on medication for like over a month. I just told him that and he goes. Good, he goes, you don't need it. You're pretty much taking care of the business yourself. Just keep doing what you're doing and you shouldn't have a problem. So now I don't even have a prescription for any medication. I'm just free and clear from everything and ready to go.
Speaker 3:I'll probably be on my medicines for the rest of my life.
Speaker 2:I've been fucking up a lot lately. I'll say that when it comes. I was like oh, let's celebrate. So I got done with that and I had to go to work. I had to go to to level up. So I stopped at Bailey Wicks, got me a coffee and shit and went all the way out. Dude, I was like fuck it, let's celebrate.
Speaker 3:I'm down to 302. I'm so close to my goal, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:I know it's a law. It's been a long road. So I was telling my the, my clients, last night. I was telling her, you know, no, it was two nights ago. I told him. I said yeah, I have. Uh, I was 370 like a little over a year ago and I was really heavy. I said, um, they're like holy shit, man, really. I said yeah. I said you ever see like old?
Speaker 3:pictures of yourself and you're just like, you just want to vomit. Oh yeah, dude, look at this, yeah, dude, because because on our tv we have like pictures rotating on the screensaver what our our fire stick goes into screensaver mode and I see just old pictures of you, me, joe, and it it makes me physically ill. Not picture you, but pictures of me, oh no, no, dude. And it makes me physically ill. Not a picture of you, but pictures of me. Oh no, no, dude, you can get physically ill. It's like holy shit, do I look like crap? I'm like dude. Seeing old pictures of Joe. That's ridiculous. Wow, it doesn't even look like the same fucking person, jesus.
Speaker 2:I lost weight there, dude. I was losing weight there already.
Speaker 3:Yeah, fucking person, jesus, I lost weight there, dude, I was losing weight there already. So, yeah, I went from 400 to 302. But you, but, man, we've all, we've all made some really good changes.
Speaker 2:I've just, I've just yeah you're yeah, fucking crazy dude, yeah, yeah, yeah, fucking crazy dude, yeah, or standing fucking.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I love you. That was a great day, well, mostly your wedding day.
Speaker 3:Yeah, fucking Sam Sam dude.
Speaker 2:And when I put that dude, I was getting chewed out in that picture, the picture of our first dance. I was getting chewed out because, Sarah, why? Because I shoved cake in her nose. She goes. Remember, we're supposed to, we're going to be really good, okay. And she gave me a bite, and I gave her a bite and I was like and she goes, so the whole fucking first dance she's getting on you and I said you know what I said is a is a is a timeless moment worth a couple nights on the couch.
Speaker 2:Yes, it is, and that's why I smashed her schnoz with it and I told her she's like totally, she goes. So she said this this is us in a nutshell she goes. You smashed cake up my nose. You got so much cake up there. I said I'm sorry you got a big fucking schnoz, ain't my fucking fault. Oh my God, dude, that's what we do, man. She knows she got big nose, man, but I like it because it tickles my pocket. Rosebud, don't call me big nose, so when she's tongue in my balls, dude her nose goes right up my schnoz like Gonzo Wow.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 4:Wow, Piggy Wow.
Speaker 2:I just can't be real. I love you.
Speaker 3:Sorry, I'm just kidding, babe. I love you. Sorry, that's. We're gonna add it on that note, we're gonna add this evening with that. So, guys, we appreciate all your, we appreciate everybody who listens and hopefully you keep listening from your own head, they hear great stories like that oh my god so you need the party words besides what are you parties?
Speaker 2:nah, um, I really do truly love and appreciate my wife. I she's just, I don't know, man, like, every time I DJ a wedding and I told I was talking to another vendor there yesterday Every time I DJ a wedding, dude, it makes me appreciate it a little bit more. You know so, just because. And then, like, I've come to a lot of like agreement, or like you know so, um, just because, and then, like I've come to a lot of like agreement, or, like you know, I've come to an understanding of like how I used to be when I was younger and and just being a real piece of shit. I still am, but I'm not the same kind of you are a piece of shit, but you're not as big of one yeah, uh, you're cool.
Speaker 2:I remember when she was getting her nose pierced, dude, and Grubb did her. Grubb pierced her nose, yeah, and he's on there, and I said I said I said, damn dude, you got a lot of real estate to work with. Oh, my god, I do. I love my wife and her nose really isn't that big. It's just like I. I love my wife. Her nose really isn't that big. I fuck with her a little bit. I shouldn't, because it probably gives her a fucking complex, but she seems not to give a shit. I'm sure she gives it right back. Oh yeah, she does.
Speaker 2:Talks about how tiny my dick is and shit. I wish her nose was smaller and my dick was bigger. Man, If we could just meet in the middle on that. Yeah, I mean, there you go, just meet in the middle on that. Yeah, I mean, cause, dude, if my dick was bigger and her nose was smaller, we wouldn't, you know, blow jobs would be a lot easier. No, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3:Well, with that being said, guys, we were again. We appreciate everyone who listens to us, uh, and we will see you guys next week. I'm John Brecker and and I'm Jason Scherger. Peace Later.