It's Everyday with John and Jay
We're the unapologetically raw comedy podcast that’s not afraid to push boundaries. Packed with outrageous skits, off-the-cuff banter, and original songs, John and Jay bring their no-holds-barred humor to everyday topics, wild hypotheticals, and everything in between. Whether you’re here for belly laughs or pure chaos, this is the ultimate shoot-the-shit show for anyone who loves their comedy a little rough around the edges
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It's Everyday with John and Jay
Episode 179: Minecraft, Movies, and Manhood
John and Jay kick off with a hilarious comparison of generational "brain rot," contrasting millennial catchphrases like "shibby" that naturally faded away with Gen Z's evolving linguistic innovations that somehow grow more complex over time. Their observations about how different generations process and share humor reveal deeper insights about cultural transmission in the digital age.
The conversation shifts to an unexpectedly enthusiastic review of the Minecraft movie, with both hosts expressing genuine surprise at Jason Momoa's scene-stealing comedic performance. "I thought I was going to watch it for Jack Black," one admits, "but Jason Momoa killed it!" They highlight how the film successfully bridges the knowledge gap for non-gamers while delivering authentic experiences for fans—a rare achievement for video game adaptations.
Pure nostalgic excitement takes over when they discover the upcoming theatrical re-release of the original 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie for its 35th anniversary. Their spontaneous planning to attend a screening together captures that magical intersection of adulthood responsibilities and childhood enthusiasm that so many listeners can relate to. The immediate phone call to check if their local theater will carry the film showcases their authentic passion for these cultural touchstones.
The podcast takes several unexpected turns, including a raw, unfiltered exploration of personal boundaries and attraction in an increasingly fluid world. While navigating these complex waters with their signature irreverent humor, the hosts demonstrate how honest conversation helps process evolving social norms, even when that discussion feels uncomfortable or imperfect.
The episode wraps with a revealing discussion about modern parenting challenges, particularly the frustration when teenagers misappropriate powerful terminology like "oppression" without understanding historical context. This generational communication gap reflects broader cultural disconnects where young people access sophisticated vocabulary through social media before developing the nuanced understanding to use these concepts appropriately.
Ready for more unfiltered conversations that blend nostalgia, pop culture, and raw honesty? Subscribe now and join us for new episodes that prove we really don't care if you're tired of this—we're going to keep going until you love us!
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'Beavis and Butt-head' Cover art created by Joe Crawford
It's every day with John and Jay.
Speaker 3:Comedy Skits, random bullshit. Tim and Jerry, it's not your day, it's not my day. This is our day, and it's my day. This is our day, and it's every day with John and Jay. You like racy shit, you like problems going on. You like sexual misconduct? You're in the right fucking place. Listen up, you fucking freaks. It is time to get the show on the road. We're ready to hit this episode of it's every day with john and jay.
Speaker 2:Let's rock yo, what's up, hi. Every day, it's every day, with John and Jay coming back yet again, and we don't care if you're tired of this, we're gonna keep going and going until you fucking love us.
Speaker 3:If you're tired of this, then go bang your pussy with a crucifix.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. Let Jesus fuck you.
Speaker 3:Let Jesus fuck you. Your mother sucks cock so much your mother sucks bad Dude. That movie's hilarious Dude. I was watching it the other night. Yeah, that's the second one. I was watching that one the other day and I forgot how fucking amazing it was. The Exorcist no, not the Exorcist. The Exorcist was great too. I was watching a scary movie too.
Speaker 2:Oh, scary movie. Grandma sucks it, grandma, grandma get out of there.
Speaker 3:You're no fun. Mom, I got him. I got a message from you, from your mother. Harris, do you want, do you want me to tell you to you? Do you want to talk to her? I'm talking to your mother, or something like that? Yeah, yes, mom, will you please get out of there?
Speaker 2:you're not fun you're not fun dude those movies were awesome, so they're supposed to come out with another one, correct?
Speaker 3:yes, and the and the wayans brothers are doing it the wayans brothers actually own the rights, which I'm really excited, okay, so that's so we're gonna get.
Speaker 2:So we're gonna get space balls a new space balls we're gonna get. We're getting a new naked gun and we're gonna get a new happy calmer, which. I'm not really looking forward to it.
Speaker 3:I hope we're disappointed so much that it's better.
Speaker 2:I had my expectations really really fucking low for that movie and hopefully it kind of blows me away. But who knows, Then we're getting a scary movie with the Wayans brothers in control.
Speaker 3:So Keenan.
Speaker 2:Ivory's coming back to direct. So yeah, that that's. I remember seeing the first one in theaters and I don't think I've ever laughed so fucking oh, dude, it was it was.
Speaker 3:Do we work to mcdonald's?
Speaker 2:we worked at mcdonald's and everyone was like yeah, it was. Uh, that was like the thing that. So like I always think that our brain rot, stuff was always way better than what jet x or jet z kids have there's no skibbity, toilet skibbity skibbity toilet and fucking what the helly and what the hell of burton and you know I I always thought our brain rot.
Speaker 2:Shit was way better. It's more fun, more interactive. It wasn't like a secret society. We just took shit from commercials or movies and just adapted it Like Skibby. So remember Skibby from fucking Dude Where's my Car? Oh, shibby, shibby, that's it. Shibby, shibby, shibby. I remember that brain rot.
Speaker 2:Shit went around for kids in school. People said that at work all the time and that was kind of a thing for a while. But with anything, though, that shit like fades away. It just seems that, like jed z's, you know, kind of weird shit just evolves and it festers and it becomes fucking weirder and dumber and it's like our fads. They just go away after a while. Then we just get something new. Their shit just kind of evolves and it's like they do like.
Speaker 2:So now, like with gen z or gen alpha or whatever the fuck, they do like they have like italian, fucking like words that they use it with. It's like spanglish with like italian words. Don't know where they picked this shit up from. I don't know if it's a tiktok thing or what, but it's. It's so weird and out there and I feel brought on by the gays. You know we could blame somebody that sounds like a good, a good group of people to blame, so let's go with that we'll blame I don't know how you say pride month in italian, but well, it's over now, so thank god.
Speaker 3:No, I'm just kidding, thank god I'm just kidding, I don't really like. Honestly, I don't care, um. Okay, so talking about movies and shit, all right. Number one, I'm gonna talk about one that, like, I just watched and I loved and uh john, you got hbo max right, I do. Yes, have you watched the new Minecraft? No, dude. I had no interest in watching this movie. What I watched it Jason Momoa is fucking Dude. I thought I was going to watch it for Jack Black. Right, jason Momoa killed it Really.
Speaker 2:Yes. Do you have to know anything about the game to watch this movie? No, or is it just a standalone? No, because I don't really know the movie.
Speaker 3:I don't know the game. It's just fun. Was it just a fun movie?
Speaker 2:it's awesome. Okay, dude, jason momoa's acting comedy chops were fucking hilarious, love our chicken yeah, I was fucking done with that which is jack.
Speaker 3:Don't get me wrong, I love jack black and I love his music and his songs. His songs were better than like if you went to see moana 3 or some shit. But um, the one thing that I could say from minecraft movie I know I hate it when they take a chunky black chick enforcer into a comedic role.
Speaker 2:It just it did not vibe well. Oh, you'd be like the sassy black ghostbusters. Yeah, I was just gonna bring that up, dude.
Speaker 3:They did the same fucking thing with tasty from. Orange is the new black okay yeah, they took that woman and put her in this and she just says the dumbest shit at the wrong times and it it's horrible, it's fucking horrible.
Speaker 2:It's supposed to be comic relief. Is that the whole point of?
Speaker 3:it. It's kind of like remember 13 Ghosts.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:The nanny.
Speaker 2:Yes, the black nanny Okay.
Speaker 3:She was not needed in the whole fucking movie. You could have taken her out. The movie would have been the same, if not better. I love 13 Ghosts. Though movie is phenomenal that movie is good but like I'm not and I'm not picking on them, it could have been a white person, but they threw. They threw a chunky no it's a trope, it's a trope. It's almost pandering. You know it is.
Speaker 2:It feels to me like it's lazy, it's lazy, it's lazy, it's lazy screenwriting and it's lazy directing is to put the sassy overweight black woman as comic relief.
Speaker 3:It's, it's, it's lazy dude and I'll admit that. Dude, let's, if you don't mind. Oh, I do mind. I was going to say no, let's watch. Let's check out Jason Momoa's funny Minecraft moments. Dude, he killed him Because he's supposed to be this champion from back in the day of an arcade game. He's a 1989 champion. Dude, jason Momoa kills it. Dude Minecraft official teaser trailer. I love it when he's like dude. He's something, he's arrogant and he's funnier than fuck. Oh, chicken jockey.
Speaker 2:That's another one of those Like right.
Speaker 3:There's a chick right there down below, that's her. They put another one of those like Right, there's a chick right there down below, that's her. They put her in the fucking movie. Dude, she goes through this door and she's like, oh, my butt, my butt. I'm like that's stupid. Other than that, the movie is well done, very, very well done. It's a great movie. It's a fucking great, fucking movie free garbage tip, there he is.
Speaker 1:Fear is just weakness, hijacking your body's cockpit. What in?
Speaker 2:the hell. Oh yeah, you can say bio cone ds to your body's navigation system.
Speaker 1:What, yeah, a garbage man isn't speaking English or Espanol. What am I doing here?
Speaker 3:He's the first to leave. No, I'm not kidding, dude. If you get a chance, watch the movie. It is so fucked, it's really good. I laughed my ass off, jason.
Speaker 2:Momoa, it looks like they do a good job. Okay, how can you take a game like Minecraft and turn it into a whole fucking movie?
Speaker 3:Okay, so what they did was they gave Because it has no distinguishable storylines.
Speaker 2:What's awesome is there is a story mode.
Speaker 3:What's awesome is there is a story mode. Oh, there is a story mode. They made a story mode game.
Speaker 2:I don't know shit about the game.
Speaker 3:Okay so Minecraft what it is, it's pretty much just an open world game. Open world, right, rebuild, build shit, right. And then it's funny because, okay, so Jack Black is this little kid, he wants to go in these mines, but it says no children. An old man scares him away, away. So he gets older and he's working at a dead-end job and he's pit and he's just like fuck. All of a sudden he's messing with his mashed potatoes and he turns him into a cave and he's like oh, I'm gonna go back to the caves, steve. So he goes back to the caves. Old man's there, he dodges the old man, gets in the cave, finds his shit, goes into the fucking minecraft world. He puts two cubes together, some shit goes to minecraft world and, um, he's like awesome, this place is so amazing, except for every 20 minutes it's nighttime and all these things come out to get you all the creepers, zombies yeah zombies.
Speaker 3:Um, just, they did a really good job and like what I like about it is, even if you don't play minecraft, you'll understand more about minecraft after you watch the movie.
Speaker 2:You'll be like oh, you have a better appreciation for the game you'll be like oh, that's an enderman, that's, that's a creeper, that's a zombie that's joe. Joe's oldest is like upset. She loves minecraft. It's like one of her favorite things, so yeah well, dude, like jake loved minecraft, kendy loves minecraft.
Speaker 3:Minecraft is huge um. I know um isaac he does when he does his cast. It's minecraft he's minecrafting a lot of times. So it is beautiful, like the movie's fun. Um, it's got a Ghostbusters kind of feel to it, like with the new cast, because it's got like the kids. It's like a sister and brother, like living together.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I gotcha.
Speaker 3:And Jason Momoa. I appreciate the guy because he works at a game store that he owns. You can relate to that. Yes, he owns, but it's failing, Like he's about to get evicted and everything else, and he's known as the garbage man because he played this game. And, dude, he got so good at the game he played both players. Oh, wow, he was playing both Like against two people playing on the other one, oh wow. And to win the championship. And he won in 1989. He won in arcade, which I love too, because it's arcade.
Speaker 2:I love arcade shit.
Speaker 3:So he won the arcade game. So it's almost like the wizard, kind of a little bit California. So he wins, but he lives on. He's like Uncle Rico in Napoleon he lives on the glory of his former days, former days he's like yeah, you know. If you don't want to be a loser, this is what you do. You know Can.
Speaker 2:I get a. What Can I get? A double ha, ha.
Speaker 3:How was Disneyland? Hello Bangs Mansion, hello Bangs Mansion, but no, jason Momoa is my favorite part of this movie. Hands down, jack, jason momoa is my favorite part of this movie hands down.
Speaker 2:Jack black was good, but jason momoa was my favorite part. Nobody talks about jason momoa in this movie. It's always jack black, steve's lava chicken thing, so nope just jason momoa took the spotlight for me. Okay, I love his character it seems like his comedic chops are pretty good, oh it was hilarious.
Speaker 3:I thought it was great taking a serious person and that's why I think I was kind of a little bit um naive when it came to les or not leslie. Um liam neeson, yeah. But when I saw lately, when we watched the trailer for naked gun, yeah, I've never been so excited to watch right, I can't wait for that movie and uh, um. So yeah, I watched minecraft.
Speaker 2:Dude, definitely check it out, I'm not kidding take it a guy who's been typecasted as a serious role, or Jason Boboa as a big time superhero. You know, serious superhero, big buff guy, big buff Aquaman.
Speaker 3:Dude, he fucked Emilia Clarke in the fucking Game of Thrones fucking. Oh yeah, dude, he was raping her. Dude. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, dude, I've never been so turned on in my life. Emilia Clarke's so hot, though, so definitely give this a check out it's on my brother's movie.
Speaker 3:You don't have to. It's on HBO Max. Oh yeah, that's right. Oh, you'd have to do that. I bought it on Prime because I didn't realize it was on Max, so I bought it for $13. It was worth it. I watched it twice already, optimus Prime. So I bought it for $13. It was worth it. I watched it twice already, Optimus Prime. So, anyway, on another note, on something that John and I talk about almost damn near weekly, it is the 25th anniversary no, 35th anniversary, am I right of Ninja Turtles, the movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this year, and they're going to screen it in theaters. They're re-releasing it in August, I believe.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so it looks like we got something we got to do bro.
Speaker 2:If it's going to be anywhere relatively close by, I'm definitely going to go see it. I say, if it's not, I'll drive.
Speaker 3:We'll drive.
Speaker 2:I'm saying if it's within a 30-minute, 40-minute drive we're going to go.
Speaker 3:I drive, we're gonna go. I say, if it's toledo or less, toledo or us, I agree, we'll make that pact. We're gonna go and I know yeah, we're going.
Speaker 2:It's right, your birthday too I think is it really august 3rd? Damn, that's the day after my birthday. Yeah, that's right. I've never seen it, I think. I think I know you just had a birthday. It was just ironic because the original turtles 1990. No way, patrick this is patrick it's funny because the the the original turtles movie came out two weeks after my birthday, because we made a big birthday thing out of that I remember.
Speaker 3:Let me tell you, one of my best core memories as a kid was jerking off for the first time that that and going to see the 1990 while he was laying on the floor and his mom and dad are banging into bed. Boy Boy, no slapping the hams. He smacks your hand away. That's my woman. Boy, no jerking the girks while we're up here making whoopee. God damn it, I'm making a joke. You got to fucking stop.
Speaker 2:We got to keep trying because you boys are disappointment. I'm like, oh yeah, so turtles.
Speaker 1:We looked at a big segue out of that.
Speaker 2:T-Man T-Release yeah dude. What theater. Okay, sunday, august 17th and Wednesday okay, I was wrong, I was way off, but still.
Speaker 3:I don't give a shit, I still want to go. Oh no, we're. Oh yeah, I wonder if we if it has the theaters already like listed listed we should be fucking playing the fucking theme song while we're fucking looking this up Like the movie theme. Yeah. Like you know the fucking thing? No, yeah, yeah, that, yep.
Speaker 2:Okay, while we're looking this up, we need this that's right, dude, that's major league butt kicking back in town, oh yeah okay.
Speaker 1:So I gotta figure out when the.
Speaker 2:I wonder if they have like the theaters already things are going really hard for the feldmeister the things are going really hard for the feldmeister fucking robot chicken dude really hard for the Feldmeister.
Speaker 3:He's going really hard for the Feldmeister, Fucking robot chicken dude Damn. I lost a sigh.
Speaker 2:Lost a sigh.
Speaker 3:I lost a sigh.
Speaker 2:Raphael, raphael, that was a good impression of Scooter dude.
Speaker 1:Let's look at that. Pizza Pizza Radical, radical, radical, radical.
Speaker 2:I don't know if tip, because we have kind of an offshoot.
Speaker 3:Yeah, our theater, thank God, was saved, because otherwise it wouldn't even be there. Ours is Starview. Maybe we could see it start. We're going to Starview. Maybe we could check Starview's website and see if it's coming up. I mean, it's only a couple months away.
Speaker 2:right, yeah, it's not that far away, because now I'm curious if Tiffin's going to get it. Maybe we ask him really nicely.
Speaker 3:Maybe should I call him. I should just call him on the fucking podcast. Maybe should I call him. I should just call him on the fucking podcast. You should just ask him. I should call him on the podcast.
Speaker 2:Boy. I don't even know if they're going to have this. Okay, other date, let's go. They got August 14th listed here. They got American Tail Fuck. American Tail is coming back out. Shut the fuck up, dude.
Speaker 3:Dude, do we need to go to another movie? What they got.
Speaker 2:American Tail.
Speaker 3:I want to go see that.
Speaker 2:They got American Tail at our local theater At only one show time. One show time at 9.30 in the morning. Dude, we're going.
Speaker 3:On a Thursday, we ain't going to be able to go. The Wild Robot. I was waiting for a fucking land before time, or?
Speaker 2:something it was in this era.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's 2005. Isn't that August 2005? No, this, this era, oh that's 2005. Isn't that August 2005? No, this is 2025. Oh I didn't see it too. What's coming soon, doesn't it say coming soon Up top.
Speaker 2:Oh, coming soon. Let's check that out, let's see what we got, please. Puss in Boots. Super Mario Shrek. They're going to re-release Shrek. Is this the originals? I know what you did last summer Fantastic Four. Come on, dude.
Speaker 3:Get Ninja Turtles in here. Freakier Friday Freakier.
Speaker 2:Friday Gay Shrek 2.
Speaker 3:Should we give them a call, because I am willing to give them a call. You could ask them. Let's call them. We're going to call Starview Theater here in Tiffin. They are amazing. They're very good people.
Speaker 2:And I'm so glad they're going to open. Are you going to have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1990 re-release in August?
Speaker 3:That's what I'm going to do. Okay, let's go go start.
Speaker 2:And if not, can you get it, because that would be awesome? Starview Tivit Ohio.
Speaker 3:Call.
Speaker 1:All right, we're calling Hello, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to pull this picture out, damn it.
Speaker 3:Are they open? Dude, that's awesome, check that out.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that works really well, they could be closed by now. They might be. They could be closed by now.
Speaker 3:Alright, well, hunt you down and got you like a fish. No, it doesn't say they're closed To fax. Press the star. Key To fax. Press the star key so tired, tired of waiting, tired of waiting for star view, I guess. Fuck us then. They don't know. I've spent 36 hours waiting on a phone call before. This is just one of those calls. Yeah, I don't think they're gonna answer, sons of bitches.
Speaker 2:This is just one of those calls yeah, I don't think they're going to answer Sons of bitches.
Speaker 3:Answer damn you. Nope they didn't answer. God damn it. Watch, I click and they're like hello, nope. Seneca Starview you are a disappointment to me today.
Speaker 2:Let's look for what's the AMC.
Speaker 3:There's Cinemark, there's AMC.
Speaker 2:Let's look at the Cinemark's first.
Speaker 3:Cinemark just reminds me of Skidmark. Let's do the one with Sandusky.
Speaker 2:Let's just try that one on a random, the one of Sandusky, let's just try that one on a random Showtime. What day was that?
Speaker 3:August 17th. All they do, got it, bro, they are going to have it, so, sandusky.
Speaker 2:I wish we could buy tickets 1 o'clock at 7. We may be able to. Can we buy tickets? Oh my god, dude.
Speaker 3:1 o'clock at 7. We may be able to Dude, can we?
Speaker 2:buy tickets. Yeah, oh, my God, dude 7 o'clock.
Speaker 3:Are those all open?
Speaker 2:Yeah, greta's all open dude.
Speaker 3:I'm about to fucking throw down my car. Dude, we just buy tickets right now.
Speaker 2:About to throw down my motherfucking car about to throw it out, my motherfucking god. So we don't say dusky's gonna have it.
Speaker 3:I really yeah, we'll just figure out which show time. Let me know and I'll fucking do. We'll just do a birthday party dude, let's do.
Speaker 2:This is your birthday party, so say dusky, cinemark is gonna have it.
Speaker 3:Just, I just buy all the seats just for, uh, just so we can watch it by ourselves. Dude, how fucking awesome is that?
Speaker 2:dude, I'm actually really excited about this it was, it was what it was august 17th. And what day else, august 17th and 20th, the? 17th is going to work for us, because yeah wednesday ain't gonna work because we work on wednesday, so sunday would have to be it and I think we're gonna have to go to the early one, dude, because I'm not going to seven. Fuck that dude, because it'll be like it'll be nine o'clock before we get out of ten o'clock before we get home, yeah, so that's if we don't eat yeah, so we'll go to the matinee one fuck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, save some money and be able to go 12 hours and 50 cents god damn, it's not not different I would prefer if tiffin could get it, but they're not, like they're not answering there. Yeah, so maybe we could follow up on that. But we know for a fact that sandusky is getting the TMNT 35th anniversary reshowing and I can't wait to fucking see this.
Speaker 3:That's right. Also, dude, before we go to a break, because we're pretty close to going to a break.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just about.
Speaker 3:I got another band for us to check out. All right, awesome.
Speaker 2:God, I love being a turtle.
Speaker 3:It's called Signs of the Swarm. Ooh, that sounds good, signs of the Swarm. Holy shit, look at that stuff. I just clicked.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just clicked that one.
Speaker 3:Fuck it ew right out of the gate oh, that's nasty. I was rebuttaling somebody the other day on my post. Somebody was talking about Michigan.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, I'll back it hard now.
Speaker 3:Ugh.
Speaker 1:John's doing a little John face right now. Ugh, that's sick.
Speaker 2:That's a mighty good deathcore. I love this shit. That's some good-ass deathcore y'all.
Speaker 1:Dude, that was double-paced.
Speaker 3:That's fucking ridiculous, that is nasty, oh god. Oh, here we go, oh god.
Speaker 2:Eject us into my fucking veins right now, right in my ear, pussy Right into my ear.
Speaker 3:Pussy Right here, break it, god. They're teasing, stop it.
Speaker 1:Stop teasing my dick.
Speaker 3:I love this shit. I love that main riff. I love doing these bands. Dude, how well known are these guys?
Speaker 2:Pretty well known. They're signed to Century Media, so they're pretty well known. They have like 1.3 million on this.
Speaker 3:I love these Lorna Shore style bands. Yes, 100% Like Whitechapel and fucking.
Speaker 2:Lorna Shore these guys are signed to Century. So yeah, God, that's soapel and fucking Lorna Shore, these guys are signed a century God that's so good.
Speaker 3:That's a good death. That came right out of the gate too. I love that. It did not waste any goddamn time.
Speaker 2:Here we go. We're just going to look at this shot right here. That's me tonight.
Speaker 3:I'm going to give Sarah the best fucking three seconds of her life, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, awesome, righteous Bossa Nova, bossa Nova, chevy Nova, excellent. I never got that joke for years as a kid Because I didn't know what the fuck a Chevy Nova was. I knew what it was I, if I don't bitch it, I have always.
Speaker 3:I love the 90s surfer dude fucking yeah, even about. I was talking to somebody about it the other day. Maybe we talked about it. Maybe all the bad guys in the 90s were fucking surfer guys. Look at surf ninjas. Look at three ninjas kick back Like all the three ninjas, right, all of them were surfer bad guys In Hocus Pocus, was it the?
Speaker 1:bully, kind of surfer guy Like yeah, Look he's a new guy in town.
Speaker 3:He's a new guy, ice, look at.
Speaker 2:Ice, what was his name? I think they were making wigger. They were making fun of him.
Speaker 3:One was trying to be Vanilla Ice and the other one was like I don't know. He looked like fucking.
Speaker 2:Draco Malfoy. This just seemed like they were always like clueless morons. I always thought like Right here dude, hey Ted.
Speaker 3:But that's back in the day when we used to rock the pineapple. Remember the pineapple?
Speaker 2:Do you ever have that dude? What a haircut yeah.
Speaker 3:I don't think so. It's where you had the shaved and then you had the bangs in the front.
Speaker 2:Oh, I've seen kids do that.
Speaker 3:I've never had that the fuck you laughing at warthogs. I was warthog too, though but for different reasons.
Speaker 2:Oh, dude, I thought a flat top was badass. Dude, it was not, it was horrible poor fucking dude.
Speaker 3:That's because you you idolized ivan drago.
Speaker 2:I thought a flat top looked cool as fuck. I don't know. I know it's ivan drago.
Speaker 1:There was first of all that hairstyle was so it was you know what's crazy, draga Dude.
Speaker 2:there was first of all that hairstyle was so it was.
Speaker 3:You know what's crazy is. I rock that shit now.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty much a fade A flat top A fade.
Speaker 3:I do a fade, but well, like black dudes can pull it off. White guys just kind of look goofy Dude. We look like we're in the military family dude when we wear it.
Speaker 2:Black dudes pull it off like a mother for like kid and play and shit. See, I've always wanted long hair but like my genetics, they just kind of my hair just kind of like gets curly as it gets longer, so it doesn't look good.
Speaker 3:He looks like. He looks like fucking Shirley Temple when he gets.
Speaker 2:Well, I got a bunch of dudes grabbing all over me.
Speaker 3:You're just sitting on dudes, laps and stuff.
Speaker 2:It's the good ship. Hey, what the fuck is that? God damn.
Speaker 3:Good ship. Oh, that's your dick, dude, that's your dick. What the fuck, good ship, that's a hard cock. That's a hard cock. I'll make fun of that song next week, dude. That'd be funny. Put the fucking video to it. Yeah, dude.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, oh man. With that said, we do have something coming up for you right now. I think everyone can relate to the good old days of shopping at Kmart and this is for you, if you do remember that.
Speaker 3:Yes, enjoy, we'll be right back.
Speaker 2:Come on, Attention Kmart shoppers. Blue light special on all champion clothing $29.95 under for the next two days through the weekend.
Speaker 3:Yeah, look at these deals. Grab that flyer, baby. We're about to fucking kick it off. Take a good look at it. Look at it now.
Speaker 1:You know these sales go real badass when they're the weeks out, I'll let you touch it.
Speaker 3:If you will pay. We gotta bid on these deals cause they end on Sunday. Too fast, don't go too slow, but these prices are too low. I want some Franklin Pumps. I want something that I can draw. Baby, it's yours, all yours. If you want it tonight, give me the blue light Special All through the night. Baby, it's yours, all yours. I need some drawers. If you want it tonight, come through my door and give me some drawers. I need one tonight. Come through my door Then get me some clothes and turn on that blue light. Know that you want some of those champion socks, but if I just wear them clothes that come from Kmart you know they rock.
Speaker 1:But if I just wear them clothes?
Speaker 3:that come from Kmart. You know they rock. Tell me your secrets and I'll tell you mine. I bought these little shoesies marked down from $32,999. If I move too fast, don't take it slow. Know these prices will never go so low. I like some excitement and I like to save some money. Baby, it's yours. If you want it. To the right, there is some blue light specials that will make some people fight. Baby, it's yours. Just a look onto your right. I want some Franklin pumps. I want some champion shirts. So turn on that blue light. If you want me, me, let me know it. I'm gonna take a hundred bucks and blow it. I'm gonna buy a whole car load of fucking shit, but you know that that's not all I'll get. We would go all across the parking lot and get some McDonald's cause I saved a shit ton of money with a blue light fucking special. Yeah, throw it in the cart. Baby, it's a special day what you want those shoes eight dollars.
Speaker 3:Not too much for daddy. We're kicking ass on the blue light Special. Oh yeah, it's tonight, baby, it's yours.
Speaker 1:All yours.
Speaker 3:If you want it, it's on the right, come on my door. Then you got champion clothes and I want my Franklin pumps with that blue light. Baby, it's yours and you know it's on the right, get that blue light special. Yeah, it's feeling all right, baby, it's yours. Turn on that blue light baby.
Speaker 1:Yo, what's up? Welcome back to the Best Freakin' Podcast. It's Everyday with Jon and Jay baby.
Speaker 3:Listen, you don't keep listening. I'm coming over to your house and licking your wife's asshole, Sticking my tongue up on your dirt butt.
Speaker 1:You got that motherfucker, now check it out.
Speaker 3:Black Lion Smash all on aisle three.
Speaker 2:I wasn't even in aisle three. Oh wait, that's Mr Bob. Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:I wasn't even in aisle three.
Speaker 2:Herb. Honest Honest Herb. I wasn't even in aisle three. Honest Honest herb.
Speaker 3:I wasn't even in aisle three, dude, you know that lady at the counter that's cutting cheese reminds me so much of Sarah's sister. Okay, do you know who I'm talking about? You got the whole Cheddar family, dude. Look it up. Look it up, pull up, mr Mom. I know the C, the deli counter woman. I know the C Reminds me of Angie, a little bit Sarah's sister.
Speaker 2:It's now on Blu-ray.
Speaker 3:I love this movie, this movie is good, good morning shoppers. We have some specials in the store this morning that we'd like to let you know about. There she is.
Speaker 1:Just give me salami Italian kosher hard pork, beef, cotto or what. There she is, yeah.
Speaker 3:I did see that. I see that Fomunda. You got the whole cheddar family dude, you're about to get eaten alive by these fucking bitches. No shit, man fuck these whores.
Speaker 2:Why didn't he just do the pickup?
Speaker 3:just did the pickup it would have been a lot easier let's do the Kroger pick list. If you want to know why people are pro-life or pro-choice, it's Mr Mom.
Speaker 2:I love how he just naturally gets the pads.
Speaker 3:Oh, there's our girl Edie McClure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, price check on those Kotex pads. Don't worry about her, don't worry about her. Where are these Kotex maxi pads on special? Never mind Dirk, sorry, forget it. Thanks, sorry, never mind Dirk, sorry, forget it O-Tech 19th and call.
Speaker 1:Sorry, kid my baby. Who are you? Steven Kenny Ken.
Speaker 3:Here, eat the spaghetti. I want spaghetti on my own Spaghetti Dude. This supermarket ran efficiently how fast they knew messes were being made.
Speaker 2:I want to bring this to your attention T-bone steak $1.90 a pound Ain't no fucking way. Now, man, it's funny watching see prices porkloid, $loid dollar 20. I love seeing gas prices.
Speaker 3:yeah, like 79 but of course this dude probably made two dollars an hour at the fucking job and he probably was like man, I'm making big bank yes, yeah, he worked for some automotive company or something which, in my head, canon.
Speaker 2:This is the same guy from uh, from uh, gung ho. Yes, it's, it's the same guy oh, 100, it's fucking really is.
Speaker 3:It's michael keaton.
Speaker 2:I mean literally it is the same guy.
Speaker 3:Really it's michael keaton, but in my head, canon it's the same character and I'm gonna say this straight up, like and I know we probably talked about it michael keaton's gotta be probably one of the best actors. Dude, he was the let is the goat in the 80s man.
Speaker 2:Well, not only, not only that he was so versatile, Versatile, right, he was so versatile, right. He could play Batman Beetlejuice. He could play an everyday dad, he could just be, he could do everything.
Speaker 3:He played the other guys. He was the fucking chief.
Speaker 2:He was good in the Founder. Yep, I remember you telling me about that he was really good as Ray Kroc.
Speaker 3:The only McDonald's movie I ever really watched was. Super Size Me. And then the Women of McDonald's Playboy video. What the fuck is that? That's a real fucking video. They had. Women of Walmart Are these?
Speaker 2:actual people who work at McDonald's. They probably just got the pass, but you know what?
Speaker 3:My imagination ran wild dude.
Speaker 2:It didn't take much. I mean, we actually worked there, so I mean we did have some hotties that worked there.
Speaker 1:We worked there. Oh my God dude.
Speaker 2:Not these fucking sea creatures that work there today.
Speaker 3:Oh sweet. An extra set of tits on your back, that's awesome. You know what tells me that I really want to fucking go eat somewhere? It's when you can hand me my food with your back breasts. That is amazing. That's so gross Sweet. I didn't say I wanted an extra milk with my fucking order. Thanks though, but dude, no joke, back in I would work, I'd go to school and people be like you work at mcdonald's. I'm like, oh oh, you mean, I get to get paid, eat, get you eat for free because, no joke, we didn't eat what we were supposed to.
Speaker 2:We oh, we stole. Oh, dude, I've stole so much food from there, everybody did we gotta go like 5 million Hail Marys or something 10 Our Fathers.
Speaker 3:But anyway, fucking got free food, we got paid. We worked with some fucking scorcher sexy bitches I'm talking hot, fucking women and, like I said before, on the podcast, we had the creme de la creme of the high school hotties we had our choice From all around, from all around we had.
Speaker 2:I think if you looked at all the fast food places when we went to school, we had the top tier choice of fucking punani. We did.
Speaker 3:Some of them were fucking head cases, but yeah.
Speaker 2:They were.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. But, dude, no joke, like oh my god, just so sexy, just so fucking hot, dude, and I'm telling you what, if I was single now, if I wasn't married or nothing, I would go after jill right now, dude, she's, she's seeing, she, I think she might be dating somebody, but she's not married anymore. She, her, I think her and her husband split. She's still looking good. Oh fuck, yeah, dude, hold on, let me pull her up, dude.
Speaker 2:Jill, if you're listening.
Speaker 3:Jill Jill. If you're listening, it's not about you, it's another Jill.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not. Yeah, the Jill. Not the really hot one Not the really hot Jill that worked at McDonald's. Yeah, dude, she is just like a fine wine. She smells funny.
Speaker 3:Not the really hot one, not the really hot Jill that worked at McDonald's. Yeah, dude, she is just like a fine wine. She smells funny. I'm just kidding Jill. No, I talk to her every once in a while. I'll see her at sporting events. Dude, her sister looks just like her. Oh, okay, like there, dude, she is just gorgeous and I had I I did have a chance to date her when we were working at mcdonald's, but I didn't do it because I was with sarah. What a fucking waste.
Speaker 3:What it did stop I was loyal back then. Oh okay, I'm just kidding, I would now. I'm so happy with the one I got now, dude.
Speaker 2:So I say like it, because everybody hurts sometimes.
Speaker 3:No, I'm just kidding. No, um, god, dude, it was just a a bevy of beautiful fucking women and you know what's crazy is those pants?
Speaker 3:well, they had to tuck their shirts in, yeah now, I'm sorry, dude, and not like I don't get me wrong. I'm cool with the times, whatever, but now you don't know what you're looking at. Sorry to say I don't want to look at a dude man. I'm sorry, man. If you still got a floppy whopper down there, did your guy to me? I can't help it. Dude, I will call you a woman any day of the week I can, but when it comes to sexual relations, I'm not above.
Speaker 2:Give it a.
Speaker 3:Reach her out to a really fine looking I'm not above that, no okay, first of all, I'm not gonna say I never thought about fucking a dude because I have no. I mean, like you know, I've some dude I'm like on my Tumblr is fucking pervert shit and it's trans and everything else Right. So which I love? My Tumblr. It's my porn fucking shit dude.
Speaker 2:It's awesome Whatever works, so it was how did you get it like that?
Speaker 3:I said I don't know. I just started liking the nasty stuff.
Speaker 2:The algorithm knows no bounds.
Speaker 3:The algorithm's algorithms. Like you're a perv dude, what the?
Speaker 2:fuck's wrong with you, man. You're a deprived fucking asshole. You're a sick freak. You're a sick freak you perv man, you're a perv dude.
Speaker 3:You almost banged your sister, man, you're my sister you're uh would it help if I was your sister? If I said I was your sister, none of my, what? Like I'm some sick freak. Like I was your sister? If I said I was your sister, what like I'm some sick freak, I'm your sister, I'm your sister, dude. I love it. But dude, there's something on there. I'm like god damn, they're gorgeous and I'm sorry, but I would fuck their ass. I would definitely.
Speaker 2:See, I've been deked by porn where you see the thumbnail and I've I think I've mentioned this before where you see the thumbnail and you're like, damn, she's hot. You click and it's like a fucking meat spin thing going on. I'm like like you know what I?
Speaker 3:yeah, here's where.
Speaker 1:Where draw the line where do you draw the line where do?
Speaker 2:you draw the line I wouldn't suck dick. I wouldn't suck her dick. I that's, that's, that's no. I wouldn't be a bottom. I wouldn't do that. You wouldn't be the butt no, I'm fucking about.
Speaker 3:No, no, you wouldn't suck the dick. You would, but you wouldn't and you wouldn't take it in about. No, you'd give him a hand jibber, I'd give it a hand jibber. Sure, this dude is dedicated. John is dedicated, dedicated. Listen, I want to. You better be one fine-ass transformer. You know what I'm saying? Autocock assemble. It sounds like somebody's sucking a dick dude.
Speaker 1:Autocock roll out.
Speaker 3:Auto-cock roll out. Would one that didn't tell you be called a Decepticon? Oh my God, dude, you didn't tell me you were a man. You didn't tell me you Decepticock.
Speaker 2:You Decepticock. What the fuck man? Mega wand, Mega wand. Optimus primed and ready Optimus primed and ready.
Speaker 3:No joke, I'm sorry, I'm a selfish lover in this one. I would not touch any of their penises or whatever, but if they get off from getting butt fucked, I'm down for that, whatever. Okay, yeah, yeah. Just got to keep my meaty clackers from smacking theirs. I don't want our Schwartz to get twisted.
Speaker 2:You don't want your balls touching man. You got to watch out for that, I you don't want your balls touching man you gotta watch out for that.
Speaker 3:I'll tie them together. Dude, use a hair tie and just wrap them around. This is four balls. What happens like?
Speaker 2:you're, you're fucking her in the ass and all of a sudden she just jizzes all over.
Speaker 3:You do her so like you're kind of nope, no, it's back door stuff, like it's for spend over bed. Okay, yeah, you're just down there, man. I don't want your man jam on back door stuff. Back door stuff, bend over, bend over.
Speaker 1:Okay, jizz on the rugged front.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're just down there, man. I don't want your man jam on, or I just use his man jam and use his lube or something I don't know. It's like fucking Goo.
Speaker 2:Gone or something Goo Gone.
Speaker 3:Goo Gone. It's like Gojo.
Speaker 1:Gojo, gojo.
Speaker 2:This is crazy, crazy. But you know, a lot of them are like squishy, squishy. A lot of them they even sound like women too. Yeah, some of them.
Speaker 3:It's like well, you can hear the hint.
Speaker 1:A lot of them are like eh, eh, eh, oh, my God, you're going gonna make me come or I'm gonna kick your butt now.
Speaker 3:Okay, so on the other, okay, so let's put this scenario out there. Okay, would you rather fuck a? Really really. Oh, here it is, it's a first transy, first. Oh, this is they're asking what john's doing.
Speaker 2:They want a hand jibber. Yeah, they want a hand jibber. They said Jay is a very selfish lover and they don't want nothing to do with you. They don't want nothing to do with you, You'll probably be okay.
Speaker 3:They're like Tell us more about the. They're like you're not going to jerk me off, you homophobe yeah.
Speaker 2:You transphobe, you buff, touching dick, you fucking queer, queer, but no anyway.
Speaker 3:Okay, so a really female man. What man Got to test? The only thing he's got left is his dick.
Speaker 2:Okay, he's hanging down, so really really feminine looking trans person.
Speaker 3:Yes. Or or a really manly looking Woman.
Speaker 1:Woman.
Speaker 3:Like buff burly. Tits are not tits, they're pecs. Still got a vagina, but it's all muscle, everything, everything I'm not.
Speaker 2:I'm not about the muscle chicks, dude, I probably fuck the tranny, the really feminine looking tranny.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry I don't know. It depends on how, how. It depends on if she worked on her kegels, if her keel muscles are fucking strong like the rest of her bottle. If her Kegels are fucking strong, dude, she'll fucking Dude. I bet you damn well she squeezes your dick to where your head pops off.
Speaker 2:If she could bench press me, then that may change things a little bit.
Speaker 3:Like if she picks you up, if she could curl me. No, she picks you up and fucks herself with you, dude.
Speaker 2:I would be down for that. Yeah, sure, I mean, why not?
Speaker 1:Come here, buddy, come here, buddy yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, rah, rah. I'm like I don't know what's happening right now Against your will Just picks me up like a fucking, like a my Buddy doll, which is like I'm like whoa.
Speaker 3:Whoa, it's like a then. Then she gets done with you and puts you in a basket. Here you go, buddy, you sit right here, you're getting into like a dog bed. Dude, you got a dog bed.
Speaker 2:You sit right here. Okay, it's like Andre the Giant or something Like I gotta sit right here now. Okay, oh my God, andre the Giant just fucked me, or she fused me to fuck her. I feel so violated. You're gonna do what I say. Say right here, fucking Audrey Njai.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a.
Speaker 2:That's a toughie. It just depends on the circumstance, I suppose.
Speaker 3:Yeah, fuck, yeah, man, I don't know, man, it'd be tough dude If she, like I said, if her kegels are tight, I ain't eating her pussy because she'll smash my head like a grape, just like great smash. Like, oh fuck, fuck that dude or I'll fucking dude, I'll have to, hey, but a lot of those. I'll put a fucking jack between her legs so she can't crush my head like a jack. Stand, you see, like the pressure, like you're like oh like the fucking thing's crumbling dude, it's like bending.
Speaker 2:I'm like, oh, I gotta get I gotta get out of here I'll use one of them trucker load bars well you know, a lot of them like if really, uh, buff, you know bodybuilder women. They got huge clits though, so it's almost like fucking a dude yeah, but the balls ain't hanging there no, they're not, they're not there, I'll lift that little clitty up to stick my tongue in her butthole. Yeah, she had enormous clit, which either says a whole lot about you now, would you tongue punch his fart box?
Speaker 3:I know you said you wouldn't suck his dick.
Speaker 2:No, no, tongue punching harry fart box, a hairy firebox if it's hairy. We got some other talk. We got some more talk. We got some more we got.
Speaker 3:We got to talk about that okay, each one of those. Both of them are hairy, they're both hairy. Women are hairy and the guy is hairy. The muscle woman is hairy.
Speaker 2:The I'm doing the muscle woman, then yeah, if you're not gonna go that extra mile, to at least be kept. You've kind of lost the plot.
Speaker 3:You've lost the plot by what if the dude's got a baby dick, like a really, really small dick, like a like a clit dick, like a small dick, like tiny man dick? Three inch dick, which is big for me, but three inch dick, oh, oh, the tranny has a little.
Speaker 2:Tranny has a little dick. Oh, uhanny has a little dick.
Speaker 3:Oh, did I change it, but they're still unkept. They're still unkept.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm doing the woman.
Speaker 3:Like no joke, you'd have to run your hand through his hair to find the dick.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not. No, it's like a thick jungle and there I'm, a woman and you're not going to fucking, you know, do what you got to do, then you've lost the plot. So no, I'm going to go back to the manly looking woman who can bench press me. So that's just where I draw the line, baby.
Speaker 3:I can tell by your trailer that you are a genuinely dirty person.
Speaker 2:I can tell by your trailer that you are a genuinely dirty person. I can tell by your trailer that you are a genuinely dirty person. Oh, what's happening to my special purpose?
Speaker 3:Oh, that goes over there.
Speaker 2:Oh that goes over there. What's happening to my special purpose Today's the day. Today's the day.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no joke. Yeah, no joke. I've seen trans women on the fucking Tumblr that looked hotter than fucking regular women. Right, some regular women. I've seen some hot ones.
Speaker 2:It's a confused. Your boner yeah, but it's a confused boner for sure.
Speaker 1:My dick is like ah is this.
Speaker 2:okay, I don't know, boss, boss, something's not right here Speaking of no one's looking, but speaking of no one's looking. Speaking of no one's looking that's a pretty girl maybe down there. Pretty girl guy down there, girl guy down there. You know what weight room is?
Speaker 3:I'll find it wonder if she goes out with one of the wankies, the wankies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that's a conundrum that all men will probably have to face in their lifetime. It is. I'll never have to face that in my lifetime. Nah, we're married, dude.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I ain't never faced anything like that, because Sarah sometimes will be like yeah, you know, well, I forgot to tell you I had a dick or something. I'm like well, jesus Christ, my Sherlock Holmes skills suck Because I've been banging that fucking bee for fucking 20-something years.
Speaker 2:And I ain't never found a penis in there. I have a dick, you do, Boy. I'm worse at this than I thought I was. Well keep that fucker hidden.
Speaker 3:Well, keep that over there, Because I'm telling you what dude I'm telling you what dude.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you what brother, let me tell you something dude, we're bang bros From now on.
Speaker 3:I'm not kissing you. Afterwards, I'm going to fucking, I'm going to shake your hand, I'm going to high five?
Speaker 2:you, yeah, high five. You Then go out for a beer? Yeah, no shit. Let's go down and get a drink, dude. Let's go get a drink, bro. Talk about this ever again. Oh man, are you bothered by feminine odor?
Speaker 3:Miss man, yeah, dude yeah.
Speaker 2:I was hoping you picked up on that, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:And don't ever think that shaving is gonna rid you of crab infestation.
Speaker 2:Don't ever think that shaving your pubic hair will rid you of crab infestation. Don't ever think that shaving your pubic hair will rid you of crab infestation. Miss man, take your top off if you like. Take your top off if you like you got her voice down really well, which may tell you something about me. No, I'm a dude, that's not a female, but I've always wanted to be.
Speaker 3:I always thought that was Tony Little playing that lady. Oh, really Looked like Tony Little. Do you know who Tony Little is? No, look up Tony Little, I should know. And then look up Miss man from Scary Movie.
Speaker 2:Oh man, I remember this guy. Yeah, does he not the fitness guru guy? He looks like.
Speaker 3:Miss man, oh, he, you are. I remember this guy yeah.
Speaker 2:Does he not the fitness guru?
Speaker 3:guy.
Speaker 1:He looks like fucking he looks like Miss man.
Speaker 3:Oh, it is Holy shit. Now look at Miss man. We got to look at Miss man. Oh my God, it's the first thing that pops up. Oh, there she is. Who's Jane? Jane is Miss man. There you go. I just Jane as Miss man. Yeah, just sniffing the panties.
Speaker 2:Miss man, come in, jerry, have a seat. Take off your bra if you'd like. What can I do for you, cindy?
Speaker 3:I need to talk. See, I have this problem and I don't know who to tell.
Speaker 2:Not feeling so fresh. Feminine odor itching got you down.
Speaker 1:Oh no.
Speaker 3:Now would you fuck Miss man? I'd fuck Miss man. No, I wouldn't.
Speaker 2:So, apparently. So the first comment down here, because I want to know who this is Jay Trica. This is who it actually is. She's actually a female, but she's a bodybuilder.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she must have taken a lot of steroids, a lot of roids. Dude, look up her nudes. Do you want me to? I can do it on my phone. If you don't want to do it on your computer, I don't up for nudes. Do you want me to? I can do it on my phone. You don't want to do it on your computer, I don't care. Cool Nudes John looks up nudes Nudes Please tell me there's nudes. I got to see these peck breasts.
Speaker 2:Titsorg. What I see? A dude's dick, dick. I don't want to see that, that's it. Is that all she's got?
Speaker 3:what about images? Does it show anything in images? I usually just go to images.
Speaker 2:There's China. I don't really see. I think that's probably it. Ugh, there's China. I don't really see. I think that's probably it. There's a Reddit not safe for work, fucking thread.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think that's really the only thing. I just couldn't fuck, dude, it'd be fucking, it would be just ugh. You're hitting this hard-ass lump of an ass. Don't get me wrong, listen, man. A fat ass, a nice cushy ass, is perfect.
Speaker 2:That's what God made. I can tell you, muscle-bound women are really low on my boner scale. I'm not saying I wouldn't. What about muscle-bound men? Muscle-bound women are really low on my boner scale.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm not saying, I wouldn't what about muscle-bound men.
Speaker 2:Muscle-bound men are really high, More than women, actually. I could sit there and go. That's a really, really buff-looking dude.
Speaker 3:That's a nice dick. That's a nice dick.
Speaker 1:He's a big dick man, I don't know. Okay, yeah, I see you.
Speaker 3:Like Th, I see you, I love Thundercats. Dude, I want to go to the show but I don't know if I'll be able to.
Speaker 2:I don't say, the next One's coming up in a few yeah, with fucking Marion Fontaine. I'll probably Go when, uh when, is it July 11th or 12th or something?
Speaker 3:Dude, if it's the 12th I can't go. If it's 11th I might be able to go. I think it's the 12th. I think it's sad we.
Speaker 2:I might be able to go. I think it's the 12th, I think it's sad we won't be able to go. Why? What's the 12th?
Speaker 3:Your fucking uncle's wedding, dude, you gotta go.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's right, then I can't go to it then.
Speaker 3:That sucks. We get to hear his kids sing and stuff. Oh, shut up.
Speaker 2:I'm noting that day Singing what Holy night.
Speaker 1:The skies are brightly shining.
Speaker 3:That's me fake singing. Actually it was really good. Thank you, man.
Speaker 2:I thought it was really good, I was actually into it. I'm like dang dude, you got some pipes on good, actually. Thank you, man. I thought it was really good, I was actually into it. I'm like dang dude, you got some pipes on you, bro. Thank you man.
Speaker 3:Fall on your knees. That wasn't very good.
Speaker 1:Say please.
Speaker 3:Say please, and I'll come in three seconds. Oh my God, you swallowed every piece of my load.
Speaker 2:I think that's what Christmas comes around.
Speaker 3:Dude, I love making fun of Christmas songs. I know I love hide and seek. I love hide and seek. Nice dude, yeah dude, I don't know man, I'm just excited 're gonna be there, right? Oh yeah, 100 yeah um my dj company's doing it oh, that's right, we talked about this. Um fuck, yeah, I'm gonna be there, dude, we'll sit the same.
Speaker 2:Hopefully they don't have fucking tables it's not gonna be that fucking hardcore, it's just gonna be here I don't know.
Speaker 3:Him and his, him and his uh, him and stephanie were really dude. There's so many fucking like things that they were like yeah, we're doing this, we're doing that, we're doing this at the reception.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why can't they just like just enjoy it? You're old, like you talk about like just events happening at the reception I can't remember exactly but we're talking like, like tables. Are we talking? I hope there's not a number of tables, dude, why would be an extra? Why can't we just sit where we want to fucking sit?
Speaker 3:if they do, I want to. I want us.
Speaker 2:When I went to my cousin's wedding last summer, last june. They had like set, like they had places for us to sit, so I got we, I had to sit with all the cousins, obviously, but it was one of those like they brought you the food to you. Oh yeah, service over some of the most overrated shit. I don't know what they paid for that, but I hope they didn't pay a lot, because now you know damn well, damn well, they did, they did, and the food was not that good. I'd rather have had a buffet style at the fucking Chandelier man. I'd rather have had the Chandelier, because that shit was their stuff's good. I had Del.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm going to say this dude, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, you got a hot take coming in here.
Speaker 3:I DJed a wedding Saturday Okay, take coming in here. I dj'd a wedding saturday okay, I've never had a wedding, our reception to, where they told me that I that to keep the music down.
Speaker 2:I was told to keep the music like during the open dance part, during all of it, during the whole fucking thing, the whole thing, what the whole thing okay it was there, oh, so okay I've never met.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm gonna straight up say this dude, that's weird, I like people. I'm usually pretty good. Yeah, you know, I like a lot of people. Fucking redneck, arrogant fuckholes, dude, I fucking hate, farmer fran redneck, fucking arrogant fuckholes. If you're not. If you're redneck, fine. If you're farmer fran, fine. If you're arrogant, go fuck yourself. You don't have any reason to be be arrogant and I fucking hate you to the bottom, to all of his being so the reason why I'm saying it it's always the well-off like kind of red.
Speaker 2:I've never okay.
Speaker 3:So here, just a full reception full of old people and good old boys, oh, some a sprinkle of people. I had to dance for pop and pretty good, even though I had to keep the music down. I mean, um, dude, no joke, looks like. So as soon as, uh, the mother and father came in, or, of the bride, the mother comes in, I'm like hey, I'm the dj blah blah blah. You know, I'm telling her explain her what I was doing setting up, like where I was gonna set up and everything else.
Speaker 3:Okay, because I spread my speakers out. Dude, it sounded great. Where were you at huge hall? It's like the mill stream place. It's the fairgrounds in finley. Oh, okay, um, 600 people were invited to this, fucking jesus christ so I had to spread my speakers out they were they were.
Speaker 3:My one speaker was 70 feet away from me. Holy shit, yes, so anyway, um, they uh, as soon as well. She's like well, I gotta let my husband in. So her husband comes inside and I say, hey, how you doing, sir? You know he goes not bad, how are you not? We're keeping the music down tonight. Okay, I'm like whatever you want. I said, usually I start with it being low anyway, and then when it comes to dance time, you know, I pick it up a little bit. You know usually get a little bit louder. Nope, he's like nope, we're keeping it down the whole time. I've got people coming here that I haven't seen in a long time and I want to be able to talk to them. And I'm like you have the fucking beginning of the night to talk to all these people. What you want to talk to them the whole time.
Speaker 2:Dude. To me that would have set the tone right there. I'm like dude, I want to go home. I'm like I'm ready to go home, yep, but Okay. I can't go home but that, and you know what they paid me.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, well, the bride and groom agreed to that. Oh fuck, so which? They were really cool. They're really nice people. No, they're not, but anyway, I don't know. As I'm fucking carrying my shit out, I'm holding the door for people, I'm getting shoulder checked as I'm carrying it, like at the end of the night, nobody's saying excuse me, nobody's saying thank you. I'm like I got my truck backed up sideways and there's like an overhang but you can't back your vehicle into it. And I'm loading my truck right here and I'm bringing out my last stuff. A motherfucker backs his vehicle all the way up to the middle. I'm already loading up like you couldn't wait till I was done. You know, I was just it's no joke I. I bit my tongue a little bit and I was like why you couldn't fucking wait, dude, jesus christ, I had to walk all the way around his truck and go. You know, load my shit up. I I usually say bye to everybody.
Speaker 2:I sort of left, I left yeah, I had no, I was just like nope, I'm done, I want to go home.
Speaker 3:I rocked the night. I didn't get any tip, that didn't happen killed it, I nailed it. Everybody had. So how did you?
Speaker 2:keep the music down during, like the dance part. How did you? How did you manage?
Speaker 3:that at one point I had it. I had it like I thought it was down, but I had it turned up he'd come over and he goes down, needs to go down.
Speaker 2:I'm like okay you should have just like pretended you turned it down and not do it.
Speaker 3:I should have, but it's less wear and tear on my speakers, so I was like all right so, so, oh, dude, saturday was a shit show beyond shit shows, and I know my daughter's gonna be pissed if I tell you this, but I'm gonna do it anyway, so okay, so friday, she does listen so not very well, oh friday well, she might now.
Speaker 3:But friday I went to um brian durst, the dude that does the stuff for uh venue 18. He was putting on a show in carrie in a foster country club. My boss and my mike, the guy that works there, they bought a bunch of tickets for us to go there. So I went there and I could bring one person. So I asked Steve, because he's in my league. I'm like Steve, you want to go, dude? He's like yeah, I said I'll buy your food and I'll buy your drinks. So we ate at Marino's, which is amazing. If you're ever in Cary, go to marino's, it's amazing. I don't.
Speaker 2:I don't often travel to carry, but I'll keep that dude's amazing.
Speaker 3:He's well, he's my, he owns the sycamore event center and he does a lot of catering okay, okay so a lot of catering at weddings.
Speaker 3:It's fucking amazing best mac and cheese I've ever had. So, anyway, go to marino's. We eat, because I don't want to drink on an empty stomach and I just got off work. Go to the fucking uh carry brewinging Station, which is beautiful, okay, and they have a stage up there and Brian Durst is putting on a show where, like, people are just like local rappers can come up and do the spit their shit. So I'm like, oh cool, you know, whatever Me and Steve are drinking, drinking, drinking, dude, whiskey sours oh, man, fucking, they couldn't make a white russian. So I was disappointed. But, uh, whiskey sours, rum and cokes, um, some, fucking. Uh god, I can't remember what the fuck the other one was dude. Just, we're drinking a lot. It was a lot of drink. Okay, okay, we leave.
Speaker 3:I go home, um, I go in my house, I cut up up a Molliette's watermelon. If you've never had a Molliette's watermelon, you're missing out. It is the best fucking watermelon you can get. I'm hands down and, dude, you can try it and let me know how impressed you are. So, anyway, bought a Molliette's watermelon, cut the fucker up, like last week, earlier last week, and I told my daughter. I said, man, you know, you come over, you can eat as much watermelon as you want. Okay, my fault.
Speaker 3:So I came home, friday, I said, hey, kid, what'd you eat? I've been gone all day, I had to work and shit. She goes uh, watermelon, that's all you ate. Watermelon all day, that's all you ate. And she's like uh, yeah, you know like, I ate it for breakfast and lunch. I'm like, dude, you know. Like, well, dude, you need to eat substantial shit, you need to eat other stuff. I said, that's cool, I'm glad.
Speaker 3:But and then, um, and then she told me she goes well, I eat mainly fruit now. And I'm like, why? Like, if you tell me something and you're full of shit and I know you are I pick at that. So the next day that leads into the next day my sister, saturday, was going to take Kendi to Cedar Point. Oh, okay, which was cool, you know whatever. So Kristen's, like you know. So kristen's, like you know, rather than her using her pass, we're gonna pay an extra 15 bucks and she'll get in with us and be able to do all like the fast pass, or not fast pass, but the premium the prestige, the prestige, yeah, yeah and then also we're gonna buy her a food, and drink pass for the day.
Speaker 3:For the day, okay and I said well, I made a joke. I said if she's going up there to get food and drink, you might want to watch it. I hope they only serve fruit, because that's what she eats.
Speaker 2:They do have fruit.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 3:Kendi looked at me and said shut up.
Speaker 1:Whoa, whoa what.
Speaker 2:Not good. She told you to shut up. Oh man, if I ever told my told you to shut up, she told me to show. Oh man, if I, if I ever told my old man to shut up, I would have been on the floor, dude, she told me to shut up.
Speaker 3:I said you don't ever fucking speak to me like that again. And she walks in the house, she, because she tries to run away as soon as she's in trouble. I let her into, I end up, let her go and I text her. I said, listen. I said you're lucky you're going today, because after you told me to shut up, I was about to tell you no, you're not going because you don't piss me off. But kristen and aj already traveled all the way over here to pick you up and I'm not going to have them waste their time and they all priority pay for your past, so I'm not having them waste their time coming to get you. So you're lucky. So and then she rebuttals and she starts hitting me on all this shit and she's like you know you have no empathy and no sympathy and all this other shit and you need to work on your anger management. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Dude, the kid told me she I was oppressing her, she was oppressed by my authority.
Speaker 2:And I said, yeah, you're the dad, that's, that's your job.
Speaker 3:Thank you, that's your job. You, that's your job, dude. I was so livid, I was so mad at this kid. I've told my old man that before, though I was so like you're a dictator. I was so like you, damn right. I'm so glad your dad just admitted to. I was so pissed because I'm sitting here, okay. So what I told her was I got pissed and we argued back and forth for a little bit why I had to leave and go dj in finley. So I told her I said, kiddo, I said we'll discuss this tomorrow, just enjoy cedar point for today. Okay, I love you. That's it. Didn't hear nothing back. Drive all the way to finley. I'm starting to set up.
Speaker 3:It's an hour later and I'm thinking okay, we're in clear, we're done, we're done. You know, like I don't have to, I didn't even have any thought in my mind. She starts up again, starts fucking texting me back saying bullshit and all this other stuff. You don't listen to me and all this other stuff. I said you have two seconds to knock it off and give me a call so we can discuss this, or I'm shutting your fucking phone off because I pay for it. So she wouldn't adhere to it. Wouldn't adhere to it. She kept texting and texting and bitching, and bitching and complaining and all that other stuff and fighting with me. I called her aunt. I said I'm about done with this fucking kid. I'm gonna let you know that. I said I do. I spend a lot of money on this fucking kid and I'm tired of her fucking disrespectful bullshit. I said I'm about to shut her shit off. She goes do it? Shut her shit off. Teach her a lesson. Did you do it?
Speaker 3:yep, dude nice I can do it right now. Dude, it's on my family link on my phone. I'll just shut the fucker off. Um, so I shut her phone off and she called me from kristen's phone and she goes hey you, uh, she goes. I said kiddo, here's the deal, man, I said I don't have anger management issues. I used to a long time ago and I do get pissed because I'm human, I said, but you add fuel to my fire. I said you're the reason why I'm pissed. It's not because you keep on going. If you would just shut the fuck up and be like dad, I understand, I'm sorry, endo facto, that was never like that. We never did that either I didn't.
Speaker 2:I don't give a shit now, I understand what my parents, I know right, I was just I was gonna say like this sounds like what's something I would do and I would just like I would call my dad. Like you know, it's like, dude, you're a fucking dictator. This is like, yeah, you're right, because this is my fucking I don't want to take up too much more time yeah, we gotta go. Yeah, because we gotta go soon but she.
Speaker 3:So she called me and well, and she ended up. I said I love you and we and I apologize for the watermelon because that's my fault I told her she can eat as much and then I gave her shit about it, not cool. So I apologized twice about that, so I let her go and she told my sister that. I said I pretty much't care. So my sister talks to me the next day because she stayed at my sister's, because, just to let things cool, stayed at my sister's. The next day my sister calls me and I said you know we're talking for a while and I said listen, man, I don't. I don't buy the bullshit, the oppression bullshit. I said she's comparing her fucking situation to slavery and what the blacks went through and what the fucking women's rights movement and shit. Dude, you're seriously comparing your situation if you're oppressed.
Speaker 3:It's an all around thing. It's not an all-you-can-eat buffet. You can't be oppressed, man. This homework's got me oppressed today. No, it doesn't. It's not the same.
Speaker 2:She probably just found out what that word bet.
Speaker 3:She probably just heard it just hurt. Yeah, she probably just found out it's meeting and it's not the same she probably just found out what that word meant.
Speaker 2:She probably just heard it. She probably just found out it's meaning and it's like, yeah, you know what that?
Speaker 3:makes sense. Yeah, so anyway, I told my sister. I said my sister goes. Yeah, she said she told us that you said you didn't care. I said that's not anything what I said. And I told Kristen what I said and she goes oh okay, she's like you're heading over here to come get her right. I said, yeah, she goes. Good, I'm gonna have a little talk with her, so hang up the phone. Kristen's talking to her about lying to her and giving her half truths and making things sound good to her to to Kendi. So Kristen's having that out.
Speaker 3:I went over to Kristen's house and I give Kristen full credit on this dude. We all we talked it out and Kristen Kristen's house and I give Kristen full credit on this dude. We all we talked it out and Kristen talked with me and I talked to Kendi and everything else dude, and it brought us to a lot better place. And I told Kendi. I said we almost needed this to get past what we the, the fucking indifference that we had. So I told her. I said I'll try to stay calm more, try to understand. So I told her. I said I'll try to stay calm more, try to understand. I said, but, kiddo, you got to tell me your problems. She waits till she's pissed. And we're fighting to tell me the problems that I don't notice. Sounds like my wife.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like no, you've got to tell me your problems, or else I can't fix it.
Speaker 2:And I said have you been mad at me for like the last three months about this fucking shit? I don't even know about it.
Speaker 3:She's bringing up shit from her baby when she was a baby. No, I'm just kidding. But like I told her, I said you're in the medical field, you're going into the medical field. I said if a patient comes in, doesn't say anything to you and then leaves and then gets pissed because you didn't fix it, that's the same yeah. You got to tell him what. You got to tell me what hurts. What's going on, dude, you know, be you'll be I'm going to. I'm not going to judge you or be mean to you.
Speaker 2:Fucking tell me that's it and rant and rant and with that said we got to go.
Speaker 3:God, we've definitely got to go.
Speaker 2:Poor John's Real quick. Appreciate everyone's listenership. We love you and we hope you stick around. Yes definitely, and Jason, anything Ditto, ditto, ditto, so ditto. Guys, we're glad you're here, we're glad you listened, and if you enjoyed our fucking meat spin conversations, then stick around, because we've got plenty more of that coming. That's right. So we'll see you guys next week. I'm John Brickner and I'm Jason Schroeder Later later.
Speaker 3:I said it funny, I said it funny.