It's Everyday with John and Jay
We're the unapologetically raw comedy podcast that’s not afraid to push boundaries. Packed with outrageous skits, off-the-cuff banter, and original songs, John and Jay bring their no-holds-barred humor to everyday topics, wild hypotheticals, and everything in between. Whether you’re here for belly laughs or pure chaos, this is the ultimate shoot-the-shit show for anyone who loves their comedy a little rough around the edges
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It's Everyday with John and Jay
Episode 160: The Misadventures of Everyday Life: A Comedy Special!
Immerse yourself in a laugh-filled journey through the latest episode of "It's Every Day with John and Jay." This week, the hosts unpack a range of relatable topics that span from the intricate challenges of navigating modern workplace dynamics to reminiscing about transformative family vacations. Highlighting the emotional burdens witnessed in their personal experiences, they tackle the uncomfortable reality of feeling unappreciated in the workplace.
The conversation then takes a turn towards heartfelt nostalgia with entertaining tales from their childhoods, focusing on the thrill and chaos of family vacations. Listeners are treated to amusing anecdotes that reveal the joy hidden within our everyday lives. They also celebrate memorable visits to iconic sports venues, sharing the satisfaction that comes with reliving those precious moments.
Tune in as John and Jay reflect on the hobby of baseball card collection, juxtaposing it against the pressures of adult responsibilities. They engage listeners in a broader discussion about how technology has transformed relationships in their fantasy football leagues and the impact it has had on personal interactions in today’s digital age.
This episode encourages you to engage and share your own experiences, bridging connections with the hosts and other listeners as they venture through the ups and downs of everyday life. Don't miss out on this exciting exploration—be sure to subscribe, share your thoughts, and keep the conversation going!
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'Beavis and Butt-head' Cover art created by Joe Crawford
It's every day with John and Jay Comedy Skits, random bullshit, tim and Jerry.
Speaker 2:It's not your day, it's not my day. This is our day and it's my day. This is our day, and it's every day with John and Jay. You like racy shit, you like problems going on, you like sexual misconduct? You're in the right fucking place. Listen up, you fucking freaks. It is time to get the show on the road. We're ready to hit this episode of it's every day with john and jay. Let's rock. Oh wait, oh hey, I didn't see you there. Welcome to another episode of it's every day with john and jay what has happened at everybody?
Speaker 2:um well, we are almost dude. We're almost to march. This is fucking insane yeah, I'm ready. This year my birthday muff yeah, well, dude, happy early birthday thank you, I will be shitty I will be 32 years old.
Speaker 4:No, just kidding, I'll be 42. I'll be 43 this year Old as fuck Old river. My home is over Jordan.
Speaker 2:Christmas vacation or is it family vacation? Is it family vacation? Yes, it's a family vacation.
Speaker 4:I can never remember Clark. I don't think we're supposed to get off of this exit. National Air.
Speaker 2:Pools? Yeah, is it Family Vacation? It's Family, that's the.
Speaker 4:Family Vacation, one I can never remember because they always sing in the car. Clark, I don't think we're supposed to get off of this exit. Who gives a shit as long as we get over the river? Hey, can you tell me which way to get back to the freeway? Fuck your mother.
Speaker 2:Thank you very much. I mean you got to go down the road because I'm not even from this area.
Speaker 4:Actually I'm not. I'm a fan, no, no, I'm on vacation with my family.
Speaker 2:I love it. We were watching Johnson Family Vacation tonight, Sarah and I. Oh okay While we were eating, because I ended up going to Chipotle. I love the fact that when I go to Chipotle, they know who I am. Now I only go there once a week.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I went there and the girl at the cash register goes oh, you're not eating here today. I'm like no, so my wife's sick. I gotta take this stuff home to her because sarah's not feeling very good she never. This is what pisses me off, dude. I hate it when, shitty when, when companies treat good workers like shit, it bothers the fuck out of me. Like sarah never calls off dude, and if she calls off it's you know it's fucking bad. She never does they. They make her feel like oh, dude doing it, she, she.
Speaker 2:When she was about to go to work I said, babe, she's just sitting there on the couch. She's like I feel like shit man. I'm like, well, you should in, tell them you can't go. She goes no, it's only a half hour before my shift, I can't do it. So she ends up going to work, gets there. The other nurse is like listen, dude, you look like shit bro. And Sarah goes well, I can't leave, you know, blah, blah, blah. And the other nurse is like hey, listen, I'll work for you till. Like you know, I'll work part of your first part of your ship for you. So go home, get some rest, whatever.
Speaker 2:So sarah calls her boss and her boss, of course, is pissed because her boss has to cover. I get that. I understand that you're not very happy. It's part of your fucking job. So, yeah, this chick never calls in. She's your best fucking nurse there. She's been there for 16, 17 years and you're just gonna sit there and shit on her because she calls in. She's your best fucking nurse there. She's been there for 16, 17 years and you're just going to sit there and shit on her because she calls in one time and like a fucking dude she hasn't called in for like three years and they're giving her shit on one day. Fuck you, dude.
Speaker 4:You know, to me it would be, since she deals with like elderly people you would think her being sick would like not be good.
Speaker 2:Well, they need bodies. That's the problem. They need somebody there. You can always wear a mask. That's what she said she's got to do tonight. But yeah, I mean, it's such a nacho alvarez jr's type move, just really fucked up. I love nachos. Well, I'm just reading your baseball cards, so I'm gonna be throwing these is there a guy named nacho alvarez?
Speaker 4:holy, holy shit, oh my God, it is. He's a rookie from the Braves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, I'm looking at John's. John's got baseball cards, so we're going to be naming a lot of these.
Speaker 4:Like Nacho Alvarez Jr. It's his rookie card. I don't know who he is.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be throwing these names in and I'm going to treat him with respect.
Speaker 4:So I'm going to treat them with respect. So I'm going to be throwing these names into just different aspects. Yeah, tops just came out with series one baseball, and it always comes out around the middle of February. So I grabbed a couple of packs, I opened them up and I didn't really get anything worth of shit. So I always keep the rookie cards and like the insert cards that I throw all the base cards out because there's no point keeping those.
Speaker 2:Wow, Fuck that huh.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's such a Jose Ramirez thing to do.
Speaker 4:I know who that is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, I was stoked to see him up. Second, I was like I know who that is. Yeah, I know pretty much everybody from Major League Baseball. So everybody, john, myself and. John's brother, joe, ended up taking a very eventful trip down to Seabus, down to our Ohio capital here to see the Holy Grail.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we went down and we got a VIP tour of Ohio Stadium and people say, oh, doing things like that it's a quote-unquote religious experience. But you know, I had, I had one of those man and it's like people take that. You know people will be like, oh, that's, you know that's dumb, but no dude, we got to go onto the field, we got to see the press box, we got to go up the fucking tunnel, we have to go to the president's seat president box which the seats?
Speaker 4:are just ridiculous. It's it's like living. It's by the only time I'll ever get to sit in those seats, ever in my life, all of us, all of us.
Speaker 4:Yeah, right, because we're just a bunch of plebes. So it's, it's, but like the best part of it was going up the tunnel where the players come out and then getting to go into the locker room and seeing the game day locker room and then they had all three trophies on display you know, like, when I think of like, when I think of ohio state being able to go to that, I think of the like, the fucking greats of all sports.
Speaker 2:Like you got bo jackson, you got, you got fucking Babe Ruth, you got Luke Gehrig, you got Paul Skeens and Shoney Ontani, and Bryce Harper. They're all those really good players.
Speaker 4:Shohei Otani and Bryce Harper are really good players.
Speaker 2:Yes, I like Paul Skeens too.
Speaker 4:He's an up-and-coming guy. Yeah, he is, he's a.
Speaker 2:Pittsburgh Pirate.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So he's doing really well, he's dating that really hot, mrs Skeen.
Speaker 4:No, he's dating that Libby Dunn from LSU. Have you ever seen her Really? Paul Skeen, yeah, that guy. He's dating that Libby Dunn from LSU. You've got to be kidding me. I'm not kidding you, dude. God, what a lucky fucker.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what a lucky dude. That's why you kept his card.
Speaker 4:Don't throw that one out. I wish I had a Libby dump card. She ain't still be in there, dude. I wish I had a Libby dump card.
Speaker 2:Fuck her be stuck in the bottom of the jar. Oh my God, oh, I'd be dousing that thing with man jam all fucking day. Dude she is so hot, I'm like Libby you look like you have a really nice body. I bet you eat a lot. Oh man, she's so hot. Dude, oh my god, yeah, dude her. And uh, what is that? Sydney smith? I think her name's sydney smith and she's another, uh, gymnast, one of them, gymnast chicks.
Speaker 4:Okay, fucking smoke show um there's a my all-time favorite as a teenager and okay, this is going to sound really eerie and icky and pervy, but like as a teenager growing up before the internet, before the internet became kind of widely known, you got your inspiration from whatever you can get it from, and we've had this discussion many a times on this show. And we've had this discussion many a times on this show and one of the main, one of the big vices that I used was women's gymnastics, cause it's just like dang. My all time favorite was Dominic Mochiano. I loved her man. She's that. She's this tiny little fucking. Yeah, dude, oh man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Sydney Smith. Look, dude, they're just fucking smoke show. Oh man, yeah, Sidney Smith.
Speaker 1:Look, dude, they're just fucking smoke show bro.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I like what Ohio, even today, like Ohio State, the athletic page posts like gymnastics pictures. I'm like dang dude, look at the thighs on that one.
Speaker 2:So yeah, like I said you, you got it anywhere you could yeah, oh, it was everywhere, dude it was like like we talked about on this podcast before man it was you spanked or whatever dude whatever my dad gave me old pc gamer magazines and I'd be looking at, like fucking, some of the hot like laura croft. Oh yeah, pixelated titty pictures, dude.
Speaker 4:I'm like oh, fredericks of hollywood. Oh man, I found one of those catalogs somewhere in my parents room sears and that was sears.
Speaker 2:You had to fucking like fold the page so that way you knew where the bras and stuff yeah, yeah and then a lot of the panties were just like granny panties.
Speaker 4:Yeah, the fredericks of hollywood was cool because that was like lingerie so, and then you could see like nipples through the you could see nipples through them so mine was uh avon.
Speaker 2:I used to get those. Some of those had really good ones and then uh, okay right um.
Speaker 4:I remember dude did you ever use like a national geographic with the, with the black, like the afric African women with their titties? No, I never did that. I never did that. Indigenous Weekly, indigenous Weekly yeah, I bet you. Kyle Schwarber did. Kyle Schwarber did Fuck that guy, by the way, played for the Cubs during the 2016 World Series. Fuck that guy.
Speaker 2:What about Sandy Koufax? Sandy Koufax he was also a cub too, yeah, so those guys probably spanked it to whatever.
Speaker 4:But we uh, but anyway I like just going through that deck, dude I've got like 10 of them done already.
Speaker 2:That's awesome, but anyway, um, no, is that or shit, man, what else? Oh, I used to draw my own fucking porn pics, man, see I wish I was able to do that just stick figures, fucking dude, I'm talking like full-blown like oh yeah, I did draw, draw.
Speaker 2:You were their legs didn't look very good, you were like a dynamo with like microsoft paint back in the day, I used to take my mom's medical books and I'd look at the diagrams of vaginas and shit, I'd spank it to that I found the joy of sex somewhere in my parents house, in my and it's dude.
Speaker 4:Did we ever look this up before? I could probably show you something from it yeah, go ahead, it's like oh my god it's.
Speaker 2:Did you ever smack off to a brooksley fucking magazine? No, near to brooksley. He's right here. But I know jameson talon or whatever did, I don't know his last name. These fucking names are crazy too. See, if they got the anna, that's the best name ever, dude. I'm gonna ask my wife if she'll touch my dylan dingler dylan, dylan ding, that's his name, dude.
Speaker 4:Yeah, he's pleased.
Speaker 2:I'm like, babe, are you going to touch my Dylan Dingler? She's like no.
Speaker 4:So yeah, here's like. It's like straight up from the 70s man.
Speaker 2:Oh, look at the hair, is it cartoons?
Speaker 4:Yeah, they're just hand-drawn. That's what made me think of what you were saying. So it's like this is a full-on bush. This is like straight out of the 70s kind of shit, so dude, okay.
Speaker 2:So the first time I ever got like an actual nice spank bank book like pornographic book, and I was mine.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Was Okay. So here in here in T town Ohio, um, we had a little place called paper and ink.
Speaker 4:I've heard this. I remember the story.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, so one of one of my buddies has been my buddy since I was 12. I'm not one of John's favorite people.
Speaker 4:We won't go into that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll leave that alone, but anyway, um, if I can do, he's my buddy named Sam, and still my buddy. You know we still talk. He's grown up a lot dude, he's just, you know he's had to.
Speaker 2:But no joke, like when I used to get in trouble, I would go over to his house because we walked home together and stuff. So he'd come over to my house and my mom would make him food. But when I'd get in trouble with my dad, because me and my dad would fight all the time, cuss his fucking ass out and shit my uh, I would go over to sam's house and just relax and chill, you know, and uh, anyway, when we became friends, you know he was showing me that he had nudie mags. I'm like how the fuck did you get those dude? You know, we're fucking like 12, 13, what's?
Speaker 4:up man. Yeah, you know, that's a precious commodity, you know fucking like share the wealth bro yeah, you know so one time.
Speaker 2:So he wore a letterman's jacket. By then already, I think he was wearing a letterman's jacket at that age, yeah he would. He was, so he went into, uh, because he was in track and field and cross country chat. So he, uh, he went to fucking paper and ink and and he would just take a book off the shelf and stick it in his pocket. So I ended up getting this fucking black and white 70s porn book we're reading. It was reading.
Speaker 4:Oh, it was like stories.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they had like pictures every once in a while. It was like you had to read the stories and the story's really good, so I would fucking come to the fucking uh reading because you had to kind of use your imagination. Yeah until you saw the page. But the picture was so black and white and the fucking bush was so furry, it was just like the dude sticking his wang into black. You know there was a lot of ink that was used on these. Your printer would be empty, empty. Dude, my printer was empty.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God dude.
Speaker 6:My cartridges got horned.
Speaker 2:But I remember one day I was reading it and then my dad came up and snuck into my room and saw me reading it. He goes hey, let me see that. I'm like oh man, I lost my spank bank. He's looking at it. He's like hmm, throws it back at me.
Speaker 4:Don't let your mom find that I remember I went to like a slumber party at like that same age long, 12, 13 and uh, what do they got kids you probably spent a bottle we did with. With all the dudes, I was hoping you'd run with it, dude we didn't use tongue, though, because we didn't really know how, but uh, we did touch each other's wieners a few times did you, did you? Uh, kiss hunter fiducia I did awesome um he was very he was very.
Speaker 2:He has very soft lips as long as you didn't touch kate povich, we're good no, I don't he, he, I didn't like him, so good man, I don't blame you yeah, but uh, he had soft lips.
Speaker 4:The other guy did so, it was, uh, it was first time I kissed to do it was angel martinez yeah, that's a cleveland, that's a. That's a guardian. I know he's the guardian of he's right here, dude, yeah no, like they had uh, nudie playing cards and I'm just like what the fuck is this?
Speaker 2:hey, where the hell the ace go? John's in the corner beating his weasel.
Speaker 4:Hey, we're trying to play war over here. How am I supposed to win with only one ace? You're over there beating. We're playing rummy here, guys.
Speaker 2:He's about to do a royal flush.
Speaker 4:Yeah, he's playing slapjack, Slap like slapjack jack, slap jack me off in the corner oh, but yeah we. We went down to columbus and it was not the funnest of car rides on the. I'm pretty much on the way. There was kind of gnarly, even though we were in your truck. So thank god we had.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I was like well, you were bottle.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And now we're on our way to Columbus.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we uh we're on a?
Speaker 2:yeah dude, it was not, it was. It was a lot better in my truck than it could have been any other time, but we were just passing people like in the ditch and everything else.
Speaker 4:There's a lot of people in the ditches and stuff on us 23 South and uh, the three 15, um had an accident, shut down the highway for a little bit. What else is like, man? I told carrie I go yeah, we saw a guy at a camaro, like down in the ditch or whatever it's like what are? You. It's like maybe his only me and this is my only means of transportation.
Speaker 2:I want to give a shout out to a few Columbus people. If you saw a guy pissing on the side of the road and you saw his dick, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4:Jay had to go. Really bad, Dude. I was about to piss my pants. We're on Olatangee River Road.
Speaker 2:It's snowing to beat the band. It's bad.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we're going down Olatangee River Road on 315. And we just got onto that road off 23 South and Jay's like I got to go, I got to go. So he just pulls off into a driveway, almost gets out and just starts letting it loose. Man, he's like yeah, cars are coming by, there's just no way.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to turn my body to where people can't see my dingus, but the problem is they're coming from both directions, so no matter where I turn there's gonna be someone's gonna get a show yeah, so I would rather like there was three cars in one car.
Speaker 4:I'm like, well, the one car is getting a dick today well, you felt better, though that's all that matters I stuck out like a sore tongue because I'm out in white, around white and I'm in red so yeah, if you're driving on that road at that time around 10, 15 ish, uh sorry, I guess or you're welcome or you're welcome. Yeah, if you liked it. Uh, I'm sure.
Speaker 2:Uh, jay, can can arrange something that maybe you know what really hurt me, dude, like personally, and probably made it to where it really sunk in. I needed to lose weight a little bit back when I lived in Sycamore Street, dude, I didn't realize my kid was still there and I got done taking a shower downstairs in that bathroom because my shower upstairs was broke. I forgot she was there. I come running out naked and she's sitting there and I'm like I I go like right to the living room when she's right there and I'm like, oh shit, turn around. I go back to the bathroom, she goes, I didn't see anything.
Speaker 2:I'm like I mean, that's good I'm glad you didn't see it's almost like a double-edged sword like it's like well, do you mean you didn't see anything because you didn't want to see anything, or you didn't see anything because there was nothing there? There's two different reasons. Now, if it's because there's nothing there, that's gonna really hurt down that's right.
Speaker 4:I didn't see anything. I saw like a speckle, little speckle smack, a little schmeckle. He had a little schmeckle. Yeah, it's. Uh, I don't. I don't think it's the other thing, I think it's just she didn't see anything because she was just trying to maybe like be polite, maybe I don't know, I don't know how it could have went. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how else the church set up for you I don't know how else to church that up for you, man, I don't know how else she could have churched it up either, Not like I could run out there and she'd be like wow.
Speaker 3:Oh boy, Woo-hoo-hoo.
Speaker 1:So messed up dude.
Speaker 3:It's fucked up, man.
Speaker 1:Wee-oo, wee-oo, arrgh, who let the hogs out who.
Speaker 2:She could have pointed and laughed. Yeah, that would have sucked, I kind of would have, I would have got dressed and high-fived her for that one, because that would have been fucking epic.
Speaker 4:She doesn't like Nelson, though she don't know who Nelson is. Nelson, where have you been? You've been gone all day.
Speaker 2:The Move Simpsons movie, which I think was like peak simpsons in my opinion. I love the movie.
Speaker 4:I think the movie was like this peak.
Speaker 6:I loved it, I think after that it's.
Speaker 4:You haven't watched, you, you can't, you could skip everything. I think everything from the beginning to the simpsons movie is great and then anything else. I try to watch more modern episodes but like everything just kind of gets muddled, it's just like they go off on different tangents and it's just like it's not. The stories aren't coherent, they're just. It's just lazy writing and they, they've just ran out of ideas after 38 years or 40 years. That's wild, isn't it? Or how long they it was a bit it's over 40 years they've been on, or something like that.
Speaker 2:I don't know something to that degree. When did?
Speaker 4:the simpsons come out, not in the 80s like in the late 80s?
Speaker 2:late, yeah, because weren't they just a skit on like, yeah, tracy on the tracy allman show there was skit on tracy allman yeah, and that it that it turned.
Speaker 4:I think it was like 1989 it came out or something.
Speaker 2:See, that's what we need to do is get on Jimmy Fallon, do our podcast on Jimmy Fallon. I was right.
Speaker 4:December 17th 1989. Damn dude, dude, I totally guessed on that one.
Speaker 2:Look at them back then.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's like when they were on the Tracy Allman show and then even season one was kind of like really janky the almond show and then even season one was kind of like jank, really janky dude, that's the original like.
Speaker 4:That's the original like push the envelope cartoon series, you know, for I wasn't allowed, though of course my parents tried to instill some sort of like boundaries, but we always broke them because my mom worked. After my brother, joe, was born, my mom went to work because my mom never worked. She was a stay-at-home mom for me and my brother.
Speaker 2:Lazy bitch I'm just kidding, I'm just joking, I'm just kidding. I know she works, I worked with her. Yeah, so she ended up after love you, you, aunt.
Speaker 4:Carol, she's not going to be listening to this, but after my brother Joe was born, she went to work and my dad would be completely out cold by the time Simpsons would ever air Because he pounded your mom real quick while you guys were eating? He probably did.
Speaker 2:He finished your peas by the time that clock says 12 or 7, 15. I gotta go upstairs and change my shoes, yeah so yeah, comes down with the same shoes on, but your mom's walking, yeah, so we weren't allowed to watch like the simpsons.
Speaker 4:And then beavis and butt jesus christ man. He was his butt head rustling.
Speaker 2:You know the, the whole nine I had to give your mom the tuber in her goober. Now sit down. Sit down, boy. Listen here, boy, but we weren't allowed you ever said shit like that to your mom when they were doing stuff.
Speaker 4:I don't think about that ever. I don't know, carol, carol.
Speaker 1:Suck it now. Carol, you're going gonna suck my dick now. Fucking dying dude. That's so good. Carol Daddy wants some now.
Speaker 4:You got three and three quarter seconds to get on my dick now dude my dad.
Speaker 2:I already I know what my dad would say to my mom, dude, I know he'd be like wish you were a dude oh my god, I was waiting for a punchline there oh definitely, bro.
Speaker 4:That is a punchline. I hope my parents never listen to this. My dad will think it's funny. My dad will laugh. Yeah, you're gonna be like I never did that. I just like my mom my mom would make a quip if, because they're usually pretty good sports about to be honest, I couldn't believe.
Speaker 2:Like, uh, like when we were watching ohio state game and you said something about jesus or something you're knowing how religious your mom is I couldn't believe she was. You see her giving me that kind of side, but it was like he's an adult, he can do whatever.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah so she was being respectful of like because I'm just like, because because ohio state's players kept like praising god, which is whatever that's, but it was just like it helps you win. Do it listen. If that brought that team together, it's subway shape or form cool, I'm all for it. I think it's cringy and eye-rolling, but whatever, that's just my opinion. But if it brought that team together and made them better players and whatever and men, whatever, cool, I'm all for it.
Speaker 2:Because it brought ohio state a national title, whatever we got to take pictures with it and we got oh dude that was the best fucking thing ever I wanted to hold it, I wanted to carry it. I wish they would have.
Speaker 4:Let us pick it up, dude there was a huge sign when we got because I'm going to tell you this right now the, the, the intimate access we had to places and we probably wouldn't, nobody would ever get. And it's interesting that even like the security guys that were kind of moseying around the locker room, we're like, yeah, this, this is, this, doesn't happen. We don't they're like we don't even get to come in here and it's just like, wow, this is just unprecedented.
Speaker 2:I love that. I love the fact that that is sacred ground.
Speaker 4:Fuck, I like that. I was thinking, listen, this is for Ohio State players and coaches.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:This is sacred ground in a way.
Speaker 2:You want to know why. That's why I say a religious experience. That's why I love being an Ohio State fan.
Speaker 2:And I know john feels the same way, and I know because john's dad went there, which is amazing as well. Yeah, um, I love being an ohio state fan because the whole fucking place is just tradition. It is, and I'm I'm an old school guy. I don't like. I'm a very, very old school thinker. I don't like change, I like tradition, I like when things change. It bothers me like, and even as small as when we were fantasy football, when we started going like more friends, when we started letting friends come in. Um, women, what the fuck?
Speaker 4:no, I'm just kidding, my grandpa would never go for that.
Speaker 2:See, see, I'm a very tradition Like, and I think that's that's the reason why my, my mindset is so, so tough to get around when it comes to not to dig it on this, but on political views and shit. When it's tough, for it's tough for me to see a lot of the other side because I'm so like ingrained in like hey, this is how it was, If it isn't broke, don't fix it, kind of thing. But there's a lot of things that are broke, that need fixed. But, um, that's true, but sometimes it takes a little bit to be able to see that. But my like I'm a very traditionalist. I love, like John was talking, we were talking about bringing back our end of the year, our end of the year party, and being able to do that for fantasy football.
Speaker 4:It's tough to get people on board in this day and age. On that we just don't have locals as much as we used to.
Speaker 4:It's very far away. Back in the day of our league, it was like 90% were local. My Uncle Joel was out of town, his two brother-in-laws and then one other guy, I think it was like four out of the 12. Everybody else was like me, my grandpa, well, my uncle adam too, but he he lived like in in um masian or delta or around in that area. So it was like me, my cousin josh, my cousin andy, my dad, my grandpa, uh, a couple other people too, like there's like six, seven of us. That were all you know, but we always went up to toledo a lot of the time, though, when we did like after the after, like we. We did two things during the year. Well, this is like the early days. We did a halfway season kind of party where people just come and watch games the whole day.
Speaker 4:And then people would try to make trades and try to like. People would banter and stuff like that it was awesome.
Speaker 2:That's why I loved your. Like you were talking about we talked on our podcast about you or your old family get-togethers.
Speaker 3:Because we used to.
Speaker 2:it was like another fantasy football meeting it was.
Speaker 4:You didn't have to have the we could have gave out trophies, trophies right there Absolutely Usually to have the end. We could have gave out trophies right there absolutely usually. That was cool because and I've said this before is that that always fell, usually on championship weekend, so usually the championship game would be that weekend.
Speaker 4:it was that night, it was usually that night and it'd usually be between one of us and somebody at that party, so you'd have two people kind of on edge, and you know I remember it was me and josh and I think it was my.
Speaker 2:It wasn't my first year. I think it was one year, second or third, I would what was it?
Speaker 4:one year was me versus um, my, I forget who it was. It was like one of my first championships, but it was one of those things where I'm like checking my phone like every 20 minutes because games are going on. So, yeah, it's it, that was. It's cool that, but that's just kind of like good, it's just all by the wayside now. Everybody just doesn't want to, just doesn't want to make the effort and I don't know it's like it.
Speaker 4:To me, fantasy football is just so ingrained online that it just seems detrimental to people just to meet in person I think that's where technology is and that's where technology is it's failed, I'll admit, like I'll tell this right now, for doing this for over, oh, almost 20 years of doing being the commissioner it's been this will be 22 years next year is that technology has made the game easier as far as my workload, but it's also made it kind of worse, to where the camaraderie has kind of fell by the fell by the wayside you can feel it, yeah it used to be even in the chat, like the only.
Speaker 4:We got one guy in there who's just what's just chats with himself. Pretty much. Love you, dave, dave, yeah, dave's the man, so it's just like I love his enthusiasm. He's been that way since day one, since the day I've known him.
Speaker 2:You know what dude Dude came from where? North Carolina, or something.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Came from North Carolina.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And made it to our draft all the way in Ohio this past year.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that was cool that he was able to make it.
Speaker 2:That was so neat because I've never met Dave. He's been in the league for a while. I've never met him.
Speaker 4:I haven't seen him in person in probably 15 years.
Speaker 2:He was a good dude. It's been 15 years since I've seen him in person.
Speaker 4:So yeah, that was cool and I like to get the Canadian guy down here, but I don't know.
Speaker 2:Well, when they it'll be probably be a little easier. Yeah, travel, you don't worry about passports.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you don't worry about passports and stuff. So that'd be cool. Watch, we have to pay a tariff on him coming down. I tell you, try to get him, because he won the league like was it two years ago or a year before trying to get it's.
Speaker 4:It's virtually impossible to get him winnings without you have to send him canadian money I told well, we kind of made a deal where he's just not going to pay dues for the next three or so years and I, I still got to pay you too. I haven't gotten that far oh yeah, I forgot about.
Speaker 2:I know I I it's.
Speaker 4:I've dropped the ball there, but I'll get it to you here I'm just waiting, dude I.
Speaker 2:As long as it's within 25, I should be able to still get a trophy for 25, I mean you can get a trophy within any you can put.
Speaker 4:you know, you know what I almost did?
Speaker 2:I almost bought your wife a championship ring for the other year.
Speaker 4:Oh, she would have liked that.
Speaker 2:Dude, I tried to you know what I found? They have pink ones. Oh, they're all fucking pink, oh she would love that, but I couldn't find the one with the right year, dude.
Speaker 4:Oh, really Couldn't find it Really, you can't customize those things, not that one you can, but you're going to pay out the in-game. These are pre-made ones but they're all pink and it's black, black and pink all over it, she would have loved that.
Speaker 2:The way I look at it, I think she deserves one oh, she does For sharing the championship with me. I think she deserves it.
Speaker 4:Well, we've got to take a little break. Holy shit, we gotta take a little break.
Speaker 2:Holy shit break already. Yeah, it's our um union mandated break you mandated break time, so uh, after that we're gonna listen to dj hertz this is named dj and his, uh, his next song called brooks baldwin, brooks baldwin. All right, we'll be back later. Guys, guys, that's right, dude, you choose a song and I'm going off the cuff. I'm going to sing this bitch. I'm going to fucking do it, I'm going to fucking nail that shit like Jesus the carpenter, I'm going to fucking hit it.
Speaker 4:I can't think what you're saying, Sorry dude. Yeah, I'm going to staple my dick to the table, will you stop? I'm going to staple my dick to the table, like, will you stop?
Speaker 2:I'm not that fucking crazy Jesus. Well, kind of, I'm not into that pain shit. I don't understand people that are. Could be R&B, could be country. Could be rock. Could be metal. Could be rap. Could be polka. Could be folk. Could be indie. Could be rap. Could be polka. Could be folk. Could be indie. Could be jazz. Could, be blues, could be Beatles, I don't know Whatever Suddenly so, oh my god, okay.
Speaker 4:You know this one right.
Speaker 2:I do know this one. I'm not very good at it.
Speaker 4:It don't matter Nope.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, looking at me sucking on you, fucking on your little pussy. Gonna lick me, gonna suck me, gonna fuck it nice juicy. Gonna lick on your big ass. Dee cup titties. I'm from different city. Life is just shitty. I am a minker Of fearful shit.
Speaker 2:I like to take her To the movies, get a hand on her pants, maybe via some boobies if I get the chance, gonna touch you up on your titties gonna do it real nice and big, gonna give me some nice summer candy yeah I want a little bit of popcorn.
Speaker 1:I wanna hear your fucking moan I wanna do you until morning oh yeah, looking at me grabbing on you, touching on your private parts.
Speaker 3:Looking at me.
Speaker 1:This is just where we start gonna touch you when your private's gonna make you nice and wet, it's gonna make you nice and wet, guess what. I'm gonna get you into my mommy's bed Touching you. Gonna bang your mommy. I can't wait To eat my Capcorn. I can't wait.
Speaker 2:To watch some nasty porn.
Speaker 1:I want to eat you From your toes up to your poos. I can't wait to get you nice and loose. Want to suck on your toes. Want to suck on your nose? Which? One do you think I'll chose your nose.
Speaker 2:I want to lick up on your ears After a two or three beers. Hey, let's get Bill Tamiya cheers.
Speaker 1:Way to go, jay. I can't wait to fuck you. Stick my wiener inside. Want to do what I do. It only has one eye it will shoot. It'll shoot. Bust my cum inside your thighs. Can't wait to give you my kid's special surprise. Want to touch on your titties and I'll beat. It goes on. Want to suck on your mom and your dad can join. Want to touch on your boobs. Can't wait to bust it up and knock on some boots. I'm gonna knock on your mommy's boots.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna squeeze on your loopy glutes.
Speaker 1:Yo, what's up? Welcome back to the Best Freakin' Podcast. It's Every Day with john and jay baby listen.
Speaker 2:You don't keep listening. I'm coming over to your house and licking your wife's asshole, sticking my tongue up on that dirt button.
Speaker 1:You got that motherfucker. Now check it out yo welcome back.
Speaker 4:I hope you enjoyed the the smooth, uh titillating uh songs of one cory mayo I hope you enjoyed that rendition of sexpresso. So sexpresso, but uh like I told john.
Speaker 2:I said I love sabrina carpenter man. I'm telling you what dude people give her shit and they're like she's too sexual my kids are there.
Speaker 4:Don't take your kids oh my god, dude, listen to her fucking lyrics and then think about whether you take your kids.
Speaker 2:You fucking morons. She's not t swift. Okay, taylor swift, you can listen to her shit and you're like oh okay, you know, taylor swift, whatever, blah, blah, blah. She is. And I told john and john goes dude, that's perfect, she's an x-rated taylor swift. She's a taylor swift, not worried about breaking up with you, she's worried about fucking you that's the. Thing and I'm like, yeah, all right yeah, because I never. I thought I think this was kind of, but she's not like that much.
Speaker 4:I love Sabrina Carpenter. She's a solid six and a half seven.
Speaker 2:Sabrina Carpenter.
Speaker 4:I don't know.
Speaker 6:Oh she's hot dude.
Speaker 2:Just her fucking way. She is just makes me fucking, she just makes me brick up. She does my two inches turned into two and a half real quick.
Speaker 4:Sabrina Carpenter was on the snl 50. They like this is probably one of the better, newer skits they've uh like, uh skits they've done it's, it's, it's called, uh. So they, they have this like wedding and they always like bring in like special guests to sing that like they have their bridesmaids come in. Uh. Last, also a couple months ago, they had um ariana grande sit. They did a version of espresso, but they they sing with the bridesmaids but they sing out of key really bad and it was funny while listening to ariana grande sing really bad out of key on purpose, it was so weird. And so on snl 50 they actually had sabrina carpenter come in and be one of the bridesmaids for the skit they did saturday. So, uh, if you don't have any, I mean I don't know if I'll play it because like there's oh, so she so so ariana grande was singing espresso yeah off key, yeah off key what?
Speaker 2:would be funny is if they would have had sabrina carpenter sing an ariana grande oh, that would have been funny too.
Speaker 4:They had a whole bunch of they brought a song from Wicked.
Speaker 2:A bunch of Wicked songs.
Speaker 4:Somebody did a skit from the Wicked. Oh, they did that skit. They did the Wicked song. Yeah, I think. So I want to show you this because I know you'll like this. You're a big Denise fan.
Speaker 2:I love Denise dude and. I'm Denise Dude my daughter just instantly fucking laughs at it. I love this shit. Oh man, please. I wanted to definitely show you this. Can you put a big screen, dude?
Speaker 4:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:Thank you. Thank you, what a wonderful evening filled with so much whimsy and wonder.
Speaker 4:Fred Arbus is the man.
Speaker 3:Let's give another big hand to Florian Trunt, our body contortionist.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much. I am stuck.
Speaker 3:Is it me, or did his mouth get dangerously close to his fanny cheeks? Anyway, our next act is no stranger to our stage. All the way from the Finger Lakes. It's the Maharell sisters, and you know what they say about the Finger Lakes. At first you might only want one finger, but soon you'll be asking for all five. Pardon me, there should have been a lake in there somewhere.
Speaker 2:Fred Armisen's amazing as well and joining his sisters.
Speaker 3:tonight is a special guest. He's a handsome, young, dark-haired alcoholic everyone's been talking about it's Robert Goulet. Robert Goulet, dude.
Speaker 4:Look who, robert Goulet is.
Speaker 2:Oh from like the old time yeah.
Speaker 4:That's Rob Burgundy.
Speaker 7:Pretty much 100 miles an hour, no bathroom breaks, no time to stop. You know the rest. Now let's get to those Golden Goulet pipes. Need some woman company.
Speaker 2:Did you know Robert Goulet was in Beetlejuice.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, he's one of the people they wanted to entertain, or whatever.
Speaker 7:Yeah. Maxie Dean or something like that, I don't know if he was that guy, damn God deliver. Or woman, or three or two Body, but don't bet, stop, get out of the boat, don't, don't.
Speaker 2:Don't Ow, ow, ow Goulet.
Speaker 7:Robert Goulet. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:Did they put LSD in my Robert Goulet?
Speaker 1:It's like Kim Kardashian.
Speaker 2:Scarlett Johansson.
Speaker 3:Kim.
Speaker 2:Kardashian, scarlett Johansson, yeah, kim.
Speaker 3:Kardashian, and then we hope you will decide which one of us.
Speaker 4:She's married to Colin Jost, one of the guys on SNL. Oh yeah, scarlett Johansson. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and Weekend Update yeah, I didn't know that until the other day and I looked it up.
Speaker 7:Whoa Volume, I felt that in my breasts. Did you say, bride, buy a guy a Caesar salad first Callback? I don't even know your name. Callback. Well, that's easy. I'm Janice. Oh, janice Allure. I'm Holly, like the bush, I'm Margaret. You sure are great, and I'm Janine. Forehead, forehead, forehead, sorry, sorry, I meant to say Forehead. No, did it again. One more try, forehead, just sing Sister's cute. As cute can be, soon you'll fall For one of us three.
Speaker 1:We keep forgetting mom had four. I came out of a different hole.
Speaker 7:Kristen Wiig kills dude. If you were to do the math on that one. When you think of the hole it should be, it's the one behind that. I'll be your girlfriend. I'll be your lover.
Speaker 1:I'll be your sweetheart. I'll be this like this.
Speaker 4:I would like to do the same thing. Oh to Kim.
Speaker 2:K. Yes, oh yeah, 100% Dude. I could never supply her any pleasure. I feel you.
Speaker 7:Can you come over here? I want to talk to you in person.
Speaker 2:I'd have to put all ten fingers and my dingus in there, not those privates, I'd have to put all ten fingers and my dingus in there.
Speaker 4:Those little baby arms sadden me man.
Speaker 7:Here down there, believe me, Just go Jesus to heck. Let's wrap this bastard up. I'll sing. I don't know how to choose. Normally I'm full of booze, Just not sure how I feel. Then let us try to seal the deal With a kiss. Oh, now we're talking With a snuggle. Finally some comfort With a snuggle. Finally some comfort.
Speaker 1:With a tickle yes, whether you'll find out what is happening. The third arm.
Speaker 7:That reminds me I need to get some oral surgery done soon. You know what? I don't hate it. I don't hate it. I don't hate it. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I love you. Yes, I love you, and there's nothing you could say that would change my mind.
Speaker 1:I put a bird in my mouth and I went to the movies. Then I laughed at the movie, then the bird flew out. But the bird choked on popcorn and I gave it CPR and the bird flew away, but I caught it and ate it raw.
Speaker 6:Is that sad? Do-do-do-do-do-do.
Speaker 7:Wow, and to think I almost picked Kim Kardashian.
Speaker 3:Isn't love wonderful? And by wonderful I mean visually upsetting. And thanks once again to three of the four Maharal sisters.
Speaker 7:Denise, I got a motorcycle helmet made for you. Come here.
Speaker 2:The Lawrence Welk Show is brought to you by Dude. I want him to put it on her, so bad.
Speaker 3:Silent Tammy Doll and Dr Wilson's Sleeping Fudge will be right back.
Speaker 2:I wanted to see it. It looked like Conehead.
Speaker 4:When I watched it I'm like, oh dude, I can't wait to show Jay this.
Speaker 2:I fucking love it. Man. I'm sorry I don't have any new bands this week. I didn't really listen to a whole lot of shit. I've been watching Kitchen. Nightmares and a bunch of other crazy shit. I love Kitchen Nightmares and a bunch of other crazy.
Speaker 4:I love Kitchen Nightmares. Dude, they got new episodes. I know I got to watch them, tooby.
Speaker 2:Tooby. By the way, Hundreds of Beavers is on Tooby as well.
Speaker 4:Oh, okay, yeah, dude Excellent.
Speaker 2:Tooby is just Tooby. It comes in clutch man. I'm going to say this straight up, man, if there was my favorite streaming service, it's to be free and it has everything dude you can almost search on there and you're like, holy fuck, this thing has that had boat trip and shit on it.
Speaker 4:That's, that's crazy. I mean, if you don't mind commercials, what's? Honestly, I don't give a fuck, I don't. It don't bother me that much, don't care if it's free, yeah, if it's free, you're gonna, you're gonna count, you know, yeah, take that with.
Speaker 2:They gotta be able to pay for it somehow. Right, that's true.
Speaker 4:Otherwise two people have like cartoons and shit on there too, like still do they still got all that stuff?
Speaker 2:yeah they have whitest kids, you know, oh, the whole series like from ifc.
Speaker 4:Yeah, oh, space potatoes, dude, I fucking love it. Are those potatoes? You were recording us?
Speaker 3:yeah, that's a great show I love it yeah, that's a great show, I love it they did a um, oh, oh.
Speaker 4:Do you want to watch the adam saylor song?
Speaker 2:so the one with uh wilbur diaz in it? No, I was like who all the cards? Uh, adam saylor did like a little tribute song, or spencer schwallenbach spencer schwallenbach, that's one of my uh, one of my homies. I remember back in school, um, you know, I used to hang out with tyler locklear and oh yeah and uh, fucking um hurston waldrip yeah oh, hurston waldrip dude. I remember that was the name of the dude from fucking. Oh, brother of Art, thou Waldrip, stay out of the.
Speaker 4:Woolworth. I'm kind of mad they didn't do like James Wood. Isn't there a James Woods?
Speaker 2:James Woods. Yeah, james Wood, that's awesome, there's another Brooksley.
Speaker 4:Found another brooksley, nice yeah, they did do a californian skit which was, that's one of my favorite, like, oh, like that era of snl with kristen wigg and fred armiston and who's the third one, owen wilson owen wilson. Is that owen wilson? No, uh, uh, fred, oh fuck, I can never remember his name, but they you ever see all the blonde guys.
Speaker 4:Now, that's no, that's fred. Uh, that's armiston. Well, that's armiston, that's christened wig. And then it's the he. He always sounds like dash. You know, he's from all train wreck. He played the doctor train wreck. Oh, hold on I don't know.
Speaker 2:I gotta look this up real quick. I didn't watch train wreck, oh you know, I fucking hate amy schumer I do too, but I did, I did kind of like that oh, bill bill hater. Yeah, I didn't know that was bill hater.
Speaker 4:I love bill hater, you ever, you ever see the californians no, I have not, it's I don't know if you'd like it or not, but it's one of my. I just I love how they break each, they try to break each other in the skit, because so basically the whole skit is it plays out like a um uh, like a uh, a soap opera oh, yes, I have.
Speaker 2:Is there? Is there one with a gun and shit in it? No, is there one where, like it's like, isn't there one with like a, like a gun in it or something like that? Is there one with like andy samberg and shit in it?
Speaker 4:I think andy samberg wasn't a couple of them, I can't remember oh yeah oh wait, there was one where it's like I remember one was andy samberg with the gun. It's like what'd you say, yes, what'd you say that was that was making fun of a show, like I think the oc, that was making fun of another. Okay, what? Uh, that was like the, the series or season finale of that season, where the they played that song at the end of the oc and so eddie sandberg, uh, did a spoof of that. This is where, like it's a, it's a really bad soap opera, but everybody talks like they're from california bill hater should do a david spade.
Speaker 2:He looks like david.
Speaker 4:I'll play it real quick get out of here Part 1 of 2. I just want the original, the original, the Californians.
Speaker 6:Next on the Californians. This is the first one one.
Speaker 4:I'm glad you came over to heaven why too.
Speaker 6:Maybe you should get going. Before stewart gets him all right, I'll say I'm gonna take canyon view driver to san vicente and then make a left and come four or five north from there. Just get off. I'm all hauling, totally like that.
Speaker 4:So, like the whole skit, they're always talking about ways to get her out of LA, because that's how California, that's how people from California fucking talk to each other Like well, I got to get on the I-10 and then I get off of this and this and that. So they do that all the time in the skit. Hey, honey.
Speaker 5:I brought us some tangerines. This guy was selling them on the off-ramp over by the two.
Speaker 1:Devin.
Speaker 6:What are you doing here?
Speaker 4:Stuart, why are you home so early?
Speaker 5:I skipped Wilshire and took Beverly over to Santa Monica and took that all the way home.
Speaker 4:Bill Hader can't prove.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I just came over to fix the speakers the outside speakers on the patio. I think they sound pretty good. How was work? I think you should go home now Devin.
Speaker 1:There's nothing going on, stuart, you should go home, get back on San Vicente, take it to the 10, and switch over to the 405.
Speaker 5:North and let it dump you out into Mulholland, where you belong.
Speaker 2:Bill Hader can't hold it. He can't hold it, dude. I'm surprised, because Bill Hader's usually pretty good.
Speaker 1:At this time of day, it's going to be job, job.
Speaker 5:Hey Crosse, just get on the 10 and get out of here.
Speaker 2:You know, he looks like Rainn Wilson a little bit yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, dude, I just wanted to show you that clip.
Speaker 2:That was pretty fucking hilarious. I love it when they break.
Speaker 4:I love it when they break. Yeah, like the Debbie Downer skits, where she almost always breaks. It's like wah, wah.
Speaker 2:And she's like, like Jimmy Fallon was notorious.
Speaker 4:Jimmy Fallon did that a lot, though he broke a lot, yeah.
Speaker 2:But One of my. They're like I love SNL and obviously we watched it for years.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:My favorite one still the puppet one that's probably my favorite one was Seth MacFarlane.
Speaker 4:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:You ever see that one? What's it called? It's the puppet. It's Seth MacFarlane, snl puppet skit. Oh, dude, I fucking laughed my ass off, dude.
Speaker 4:Yep, that's it. Oh yeah, Dude, I got to watch this real quick.
Speaker 5:Alright, welcome back to Introduction to Puppetry.
Speaker 2:We have a fun morning making our puppets.
Speaker 5:Now let's see if we can bring them to life. Alright, I'm gonna call this guy here Gooby. Alright, let's try and figure out what Gooby's voice sounds like. Like, maybe he's a little dopey, I'm not dopey, you're dopey, hey, maybe he's a little dopey. I'm not dopey, you're dopey, hey, maybe I am from Quebec, so I sound like Z's. No, okay, that's really fun. The point is try to find a voice that you connect with.
Speaker 3:All right so why don't you introduce yourselves?
Speaker 5:again and let's meet your puppets, Okay.
Speaker 3:Hi, I'm Jeff and howdy I'm.
Speaker 5:Ranger Robbie. You know what Can I change that? I already want to change it. That's fine, we're just feeling things out. How about you?
Speaker 3:Hi, I'm Bonnie and I'm Nikki and I'm like totally into shopping Like shop till you drop Da-da-da-da-da-da Charge it.
Speaker 5:That's fun, Nicky and you.
Speaker 8:My name is Anthony Peter Coleman, formerly private first class United States Army. Dishonorable discharge, may 19th 1983.
Speaker 5:Okay, and Anthony, what is your puppet's name?
Speaker 4:Bill Hader's the man.
Speaker 5:Tony, and can we hear a little bit about Tony?
Speaker 8:Go ahead, Tell them what happened. There was a rebel village five clicks down the road. Word came down from top brass Make it disappear. We didn't know any better. We were kids. I watched myself pick up the flamethrower and I just went off.
Speaker 5:Okay, well, let's not get too deep into our, let's not get too deep into our backstories just yet. Like, maybe start with some fun silly facts. You know? Like, I've got a sweet tooth, okay, what about you, ranger?
Speaker 3:My nose is ticklish. Can I change that? I don't really want to.
Speaker 2:King of Thompson does a great job. How about you, Nikki?
Speaker 8:I'm like so into my phone. I'm always like texting, texting, texting, lol, I'm always like texting, texting, texting, lol. Nobody was laughing out loud that day in Grenada, but many people were saying OMG. And me.
Speaker 5:I was saying TTYL to my innocence. Yo, okay, you know, let's, let's, let's just kind of. Nobody was laughing at LOL in Grenada that day puppets totally new identities, all right, like maybe I'm a real New Yorker Pizza. Forget about it. Anthony, do you want to try a completely different character for Tony?
Speaker 8:Okay, okay, I like texting Shop till you drop Da-da-da-da-da-da, charge it. Okay, I like texting Shop till you, drop Da-da-da-da-da-da.
Speaker 5:Charge it. That's kind of Bonnie's character, though, isn't it?
Speaker 7:Maybe you want to try something else, all right. All right, I'm Clark and I like biscuits and waffles.
Speaker 5:That's great. Tell us more about Clark.
Speaker 8:He was another grunt in my platoon. Together, we would have to have sprained liquid death.
Speaker 5:Watch this dude, it's smoking dude. Okay, listen, why don't we have these guys act out some scenes? Maybe my guy, maybe he's a real nerd and he could say hey, ranger, can you tell me where in this forest I can plug in my laptop?
Speaker 8:Well, right over here. You guys are friends. That's nice. I had a friend in Grenada. I called him Little Tater. One night he wouldn't stop screaming. He was going to give away our position.
Speaker 5:I covered up his mouth and choked him out. Guys, guys, guys, let's go ahead and break it up. Let's go ahead and break it up, alright, alright, I'm glad he killed him, I'm glad you guys are getting it, okay, but please do not act out any murder scenarios with each other's puppets. It's been a while since we've heard from Nikki. Yeah, guys, like I'm right here. Doesn't anyone see me?
Speaker 8:I clocked you the minute I walked in the door. You look like this one hooker in Grenada. You're like intense. Is that what you like, daddy's girl?
Speaker 3:He's stealing up the puppet dude Okay.
Speaker 4:This is like a three-way with the puppet.
Speaker 5:Okay, See, it looks like they're having sex. Let's take five everyone, and when we come back we'll talk about perfecting your puppet's hat.
Speaker 4:How do you not break? I would have been laughing my ass off at that.
Speaker 8:I don't use a grana.
Speaker 4:Bill Hader is like one of my favorite dudes from all time.
Speaker 2:Dude like movies. Every movie he's in, he's he ranks up there really high.
Speaker 4:It's because he could just do anything. It's? You seem like you're really happy about it. No, how do tell?
Speaker 2:Oh my god dude, my name's Clark and I like biscuits.
Speaker 4:And I like waffles.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, I used to watch that one a lot, dude Cause. There's a couple of them. Here's another one, dude. I'm telling you what dude. They're fucking amazing.
Speaker 4:They're fucking amazing. They're kind of like a barback. But yeah, it was so good. Yeah, but we're actually almost out of time.
Speaker 2:That is fucking crazy. Today will flow by, so quickly.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it did.
Speaker 2:I do want to give a shout out today to, um, if you're ever in the tiffin area around ohio, check out coastal swing man. Um, I'm very. We went there saturday, um, my brother and my nephew and myself, um, and uh, I I didn't. I had low expectations. I'll be honest, like because, dude, I like bolero, it's a little bit cheaper, it's more like it's the only place I've been to, so I was like, yeah, yeah fuck this place.
Speaker 2:Blah blah went into coastal swing, walked in. The dude treated us amazing, like right off the rip. Dude, the customer service was on point. Dude, just couldn't say anything better about the place. Dude, I can't wait to go back and, uh, well worth every penny of 50 dollars, dude, an hour. It's just, I don't know. Just it's amazing. The only downfall they have is that they don't serve food besides like chips. But you can order food and have it brought in.
Speaker 4:So yeah, okay, and did you have any other drinks or anything? Oh yeah, did they have any like special drinks?
Speaker 2:or like cocktails or anything like that. I should have asked.
Speaker 4:I didn't ask a lot of places like that have like special cocktails, like themed cocktails, yeah, like stuff like that, like the fucking uh, like barcades do that a lot, so you know what I would do, I would do, I would, I would do like, uh, an alcoholic beverage.
Speaker 2:The more shots you get, the farther down the line you get. So you can get a, you can get a, um, you can get a par, which is basic, a bogey, double bogey, triple bogey yeah and a triple bogey is like fucking four shots of whatever I drink, dude, I'll be drunk by the first hole, dude I was. I was pretty feeling pretty good, and what sucks is it's right next to the police station.
Speaker 4:So oh, yeah, that is one way street so if you do go and you, decide to drink, I would suggest I would yeah, yeah, parking on perry street yeah, not park on fucking monroe yeah, you'll, you're you're as good as dead well you're as good as dead, but uh, do you have any other departing words?
Speaker 2:I'd say also thank you to tony bucciani for listening to us every week um and enjoying our, our skits. He lets us know what he likes and stuff and gives us good feedback, so we really appreciate it. Everybody else who's been listening I know I haven't called you out in a while. Hopefully you're still out there um liking it um, yeah yeah, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 4:Uh, thanks to AJ, that's probably one of the funniest shit that I've ever heard. We'll probably have, mr President, on, you know, probably more so than not so, cause I mean there's always something going on every week, it seems. So it's almost like we need to kind of have him come back and kind of update, update us on his progress.
Speaker 2:Uh, maybe a month or yeah, every maybe.
Speaker 4:Yeah, just kind of update us on his, on his uh progress or on his agendas, if you will, or whatever you want to call it, uh. So yeah, I can't, I can't wait for that. So, uh, yo, if you, if you got nothing else, then we'll call that a night. That's it, bro, that's it Cool. So we'll see you guys all next week Backofthedaypodcastcom to check out our archive, or you can check us out on Spotify and any other place that you get your podcasts from. You can do that. So we'll see you next week. I'm Jon Brickner and I'm you next week.
Speaker 2:I'm john brickner and I'm jason sugar. See ya later, peeps.