It's Everyday with John and Jay
We're the unapologetically raw comedy podcast that’s not afraid to push boundaries. Packed with outrageous skits, off-the-cuff banter, and original songs, John and Jay bring their no-holds-barred humor to everyday topics, wild hypotheticals, and everything in between. Whether you’re here for belly laughs or pure chaos, this is the ultimate shoot-the-shit show for anyone who loves their comedy a little rough around the edges
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It's Everyday with John and Jay
Episode 153: White Elephant Escapades // Parody Porn and Bitcoin Blackjack Madness!
Ever wonder how a holiday gift exchange can result in a giant wrapped shelf and endless laughter? Kick off the festive season with us as we share our quirky gift hauls and debate the chaos of white elephant gift exchanges. With tales of "Bezo Bucks," record players, and Ohio State-themed scotch glasses, our lighthearted banter will have you reminiscing about your own holiday experiences. Who knew gift-giving could spark such joy and confusion?
Fantasy football fans, rejoice! Relive the adrenaline-pumping championship game where victory was snatched by a single point. Feel the camaraderie of our league as we recount strategic player stacking, nail-biting matchups, and the thrill of overcoming setbacks. If you’ve ever been on the edge of your seat watching George Kittle clinch the win or strategized against a 6-8 record underdog like Justin, this is your play-by-play breakdown of fantasy football drama and humor.
As if that wasn't enough, we also dive into the hilariously absurd world of parody porn films and share insights on online gambling escapades, from Bitcoin blackjack to the "ghost cocks" of 2025. Whether it's laughing at titles like "ET the Extra Testicle" or navigating the world of offshore casinos, we promise an episode filled with humor, personal stories, and unexpected twists. Join us for a wild ride through humor, competition, and future plans that are as outrageous as they are entertaining.
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'Beavis and Butt-head' Cover art created by Joe Crawford
It's everyday with John and Jay. Comedy Skits, random bullshit, tim and Jerry, it's not your day, it's not my day. This is our day and it's my day. This is our day and it's every day with John and Jay. You like racy shit, you like problems going on, you like sexual misconduct? You're in the right fucking place. Listen up, you fucking freaks. It is time to get the show on the road. We're ready to hit this episode of it's Every Day with Jon and Ajay. Let's rock.
Speaker 3:Welcome to it's Every Day with Jon Jay, episode 153,. I believe. Glad to see you're here.
Speaker 4:That's after the holidays.
Speaker 3:I'm not here. Yeah, we're all kind of mentally checked out. Long holiday, what a great holiday.
Speaker 1:Pretty good, yeah, Very good holiday. So, dude, what did you get for Christmas? What did I get for Christmas? I want to know what you got for Christmas. I didn't get anything. No, dude what?
Speaker 3:did you get for Christmas? What did I get for Christmas? I want to know what you got for Christmas. I didn't get anything. No, I'm just kidding. A lot of Bezo Bucks is what I call it Amazon gift cards.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm like what the fuck is Bezo?
Speaker 3:Bucks. I always got a preface. I'm like is that a new store?
Speaker 1:or something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's kind of like a bougie upscale.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like Jeff Bezos. Yeah, it's Jeff Bezos memorabilia they give you pesos.
Speaker 3:It's like Jeff Bezos memorabilia, so it's pretty cool. It's basically just shirts he's worn and he just gave away, and they just sell it in stores.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's Oregon Rose Bowl championship shirts. That's what I think it is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I got a lot of amazon gift cards which I specifically asked for because I I'm an amazon fiend, I love amazon, I love, uh love amazon. Um, I got some restaurant gift cards because me carrying it out a lot hey oh um, everybody out there should know what that is.
Speaker 1:You guys should know um, uh, what else?
Speaker 3:yeah, it's basically about nothing like real crazy out of the you. As the older you get the kind of like the inkling for like big, expensive gifts not that like eddie wouldn't get them for me anyway, but what?
Speaker 1:did you get um? I ended up getting god damn. I forgot to turn my phone off, but I ended up getting um. God damn it oh, okay, cool um, I ended up well. I got my record player from my wife that was a gift I got okay, my mom got me omaha steaks like a whole bunch oh yeah, you're telling me about that before um, they're still in my freezer.
Speaker 1:I'm waiting till I can use my blackstone and I'm gonna fucking dig them bitches out. Um, and then I got. Uh, if you hear that noise again, it's just my watch going off, though. Um, then I ended up getting okay. So sarah's dad got me and I almost brought him yesterday, but nobody would have drank anyway, so it didn't matter. Ohio state dad got me and I almost brought him yesterday, but nobody would have drank anyway, so it didn't matter. Ohio State he got me. Ohio State like shot scotch glasses. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah, they got like leather Ohio State around them, like their glasses. But you don't have to worry about melting all your ice and shit and heating them up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, really cool looking.
Speaker 1:And then Sarah's mom got me a. This just in sarah's mom's messaging, just kidding, um, sarah's mom ended up getting me, um, my one of my favorite restaurants to go to, fast food style wise, is chipotle. I love chipotle. Yeah, um, and then um, so sarah's mom knows that she got me a 20 chipotle gift card and she got me a, uh, chipotle t-shirt which I didn't get to wear to chipotle tonight.
Speaker 1:Kind of disappointing I remember you told me I don't want to be a fan boy, though I don't want to go in there like let's go, but you know what I'm old and like dad like I'm in dad mode, I can do that giving you a chipotle t-shirt.
Speaker 3:You know, you told me that last night and you're like yeah, I got chipotle t-shirt.
Speaker 1:I go, dude, that's fucking late I'm like she should have gave me a gift card and I was like yeah, she did. Oh, okay, okay, that's okay, jake got me these badass fucking golf socks. Okay, it's golfers getting pissed at their stuff and throwing their clubs and shit it's on the socks dudes once's a bunch of these little little golfer guys slam in their shit and throwing it.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, so really fun. Um, I don't know um, we did white elephant at my sister's house. I end up where, winning a foosball table like a mini one you put on top of a desk.
Speaker 3:I okay, I. I hate the concept of the white elephant gift exchange. I love it, I. It's just. It's like oh, okay, I want this like. And then it's like oh, nope, that's mine, and it's like no I love it because you want to know what my sister made.
Speaker 1:It really she did really good. I was. I was laughing my ass off she. She had a big, tall, fucking huge gift wrapped, I mean just huge. And my brother had it. And then all of a sudden my nephew's girlfriend goes. I'm going to trade for that. I want that gift. Okay, it's probably a red herring.
Speaker 1:What it was. It was a shelf. It was an old shelf they had laying in the basement or something that they weren't ever going to use, and it still was brand new, but they never were going to use it, so they just wrapped it up, put it in there. Me, I always get non. I always get gifts that are very not appropriate. So Like dildos. Oh dude, kind of close. I got a nature's dick calendar, so it's all these like cactuses and shit that look like penises.
Speaker 3:I thought. I thought it was gonna be like animals with their cocks hanging.
Speaker 1:Oh, dude, I'm gonna try and find that next like horses and pigs with the curly look daddy I'm a farmer.
Speaker 4:Oh, jesus christ fuck.
Speaker 1:And then, um, I got crayons that were like not pc, it was like fucking, like n-bomb, black and shit like that dude.
Speaker 3:You know like drop that TV brown and shit. You know, on Crayola I think it says Negro or something like that on the side.
Speaker 1:Or no. That's because that's how it is in other countries. Yeah, I know I know I'm saying like black Negro.
Speaker 3:Black Negro. It's just like oh no, these crayons are racist man.
Speaker 1:I thought I heard Negro.
Speaker 3:Crayola is racist guys.
Speaker 1:I thought I heard Negro. Nope, no Negro spoken here, no Negro spoken here. And then I got markers or pens no, it's a marker set and it says I hope your fucking day sucks and all this other shit Nice Just like shitty.
Speaker 1:And then I bought I thought it was going to be a shower margarita thing and it turned out to just be a box. So I was like, well, this is fucking well, I gotta put something in here. So I put one of the other gifts I got, which was a fanny pack that looks like a fat dude's belly. My niece ended up keeping that one. My brother wanted but my kept it, so she was wearing it the whole time. She wore it the other day when I saw her I'm like, dude, this is awesome Whatever, as long as you like it, dude, but I love inappropriate. I think you know, make it inappropriate.
Speaker 3:I think if it's just kind of like a fun thing. Yeah, if it's like a fun thing, okay, I get it.
Speaker 1:Last year, okay I get it last year I started to do because we did white elephant and then I brought a fucking cartoon penis coloring book.
Speaker 3:I've heard, I've heard of stories of like office parties with white elephant gift exchanges where, like people would bring like really good stuff and people would be like they get fucking pissed about, like getting knocked off, and it's like, dude, like you're just setting yourself up for people to get mad.
Speaker 1:It's like the thing is people should go into it that's the problem rather than, like I understand, I love doing it, it's a lot of fun, but you got to go into with the mindset that this is what could happen, that you know, if you're, if you're a goober and you're gonna spend hundred dollars on a fucking gift that's just gonna be passed around and it's on you, and also, if you're, if you're going into this and getting butthurt about, it's on you, you should understand that you could get shit, you could get good, it's just that's what makes it fun?
Speaker 3:I wouldn't even participate, anything like that. I'll be like I'd rather I, I don't know I would rather just do us like to me. I'm more traditional with that. I'd rather just take, get a name and find out what they like and then actually make it personal. So that's, that's just. I get what you're saying. Like, you know it's supposed to be fun, but a lot of people don't that. They can't have fun with that.
Speaker 1:So you just lydia deets, boyfriend, the fucking thing, and then you just totally took the fun right out of it, dude what's that you? Just suck the fun right out of that what's that? You, lydia deets his boyfriend that from beetlejuice, beetlejuice. What do you mean? No, dude, dude. Remember like we were talking about beetlejuice, beetlejuice and how that dude was just the fuck like. Even. Even the mom says the fun police are fun, dude, it sucks the fun right out of it, dude.
Speaker 3:I just wouldn't even participate. I'm just like, nah, I'm good Fun sucking out of it dude. No, you guys can go ahead, that's fine, have at it. I, just my ego can't take it, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I'm just messing with you, bro. No, you're not. My ego can't take it. I'm just messing with you, bro. No, you're not. You're serious, I am. I'm being a dick. Yeah, I'm in your house, dude, I ain't going to be a dick to you. Plus, I would never be like you know like we all got our own, like opinions and prerogatives, and I can understand why some people would get upset about it, and it's not really for them. I just do it because I like it when people open the gifts that I get. I don't give a fuck what I get, dude, but I like it when I get it.
Speaker 3:That goes to my point. It's like I would rather take the time to just go one-to-one Then again. I just don't want to put a lot of effort into something Like okay, is this the third trip around, or is this the third time this gift has been taken?
Speaker 1:We made it easy, dude. We did it to where, like say, um, on your turn, like we counted out the gifts and we counted how many people we had. Do you know the gifts beforehand? We do not. We, I know mine, but I don't know so you don't know the gifts beforehand.
Speaker 3:Okay, so then. So so we hear your rules, because I hear, like the rules I've always seen is that like a gift, uh, can't be passed more than three times, and then once it gets to the third person, then that's, we don't even fuck with it, dude.
Speaker 1:What we'd okay, so what we did was okay. So, if we okay, so we counted, it was like I think we had like six or seven or no. We had eight people in the in the thing, we had eight people there and uh, so it was like 17, 16 gifts or 17 gifts. So I was like, okay, we got eight people, six, 17 gifts, everybody gets two okay if you like, say you pick first, okay, and then we come.
Speaker 3:How do you determine who picks first?
Speaker 1:um, like we just went youngest oh, you're in this group you know, and I was, the oldest, so I get fucked every damn time.
Speaker 3:So but it doesn't matter, should be. I don't Fight to the death.
Speaker 1:So we just went youngest. You can do like Cards Against Humanity, whoever shit last, or whatever you want to do, oh, ok. So what we ended up doing is like if you say you picked a gift, ok, you went first, comes around and gets to me. I have two options I can pick a gift or I can take your gift. If I take your gift, you get to choose another gift. That's what happens, so I can't just steal your gift and then you're just out that gift.
Speaker 3:It doesn't work like that, okay, no, if I steal your gift, you take my pick. It's like a draft pick. How many times does that gift get passed around? Just one time.
Speaker 1:You get one passing all the way through, okay, and then the second passing. Second passing Once we get to the ending, it's done.
Speaker 3:That's it, it's over.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's no overtime.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you should be able to figure out what gift you want by that time, by the second passing. We don't wait. We're not like well, we got all our gifts. Who wants to swap? Nope, we're not fucking with that. You have all that time to pick a gift and to pick and take somebody else's. You have two chances. So if you don't do it, it's on you, dog it's almost sounds like.
Speaker 3:Almost sounds like kind of like war. It's like I would take advantage of of this and it's almost like but it's more beneficial to go. Last it is, it's more beneficial to go last.
Speaker 1:Well, first is pretty cool because you can. You can choose like whatever you want and me, like, like. That's why I think it just depends on your mindset if you go into this like hey see, I don't give a shit.
Speaker 3:If you knew all the gifts ahead of time, I would pick one that I didn't want first. See what I'm saying that way if somebody took it and then you could actually kind of play the psychological warfare of that. So take a gift you don't. You never want to take the gift for you really want first off the bat. You want to kind of like wait until you know, take something you don't you're kind of lukewarm on, then someone may want that and then okay, then it'll be your turn to take it. So I guess there could be strategy involved in it. So I I could see like the game aspect of it, I suppose.
Speaker 3:But I think it's just fun because if it's just like if it's just like a 20 limit, then I wouldn't really like poo, poo, shit like that yeah, it's not.
Speaker 1:That's what it is.
Speaker 3:If it's just fun stuff, like just no, we're not going out and being like.
Speaker 1:Well, there's a TV in one of these.
Speaker 3:I've heard of things like that, though. I've heard of people bringing PS5s to these white elephant things. You ever heard of that? No, people who have $50 limits. I was watching someone and they're saying, yeah, I I was, uh, I worked for this firm and one of the higher-ups brought a ps5 on a 50 limit. White elephant office party gift exchange because, he's breaking the rules and people are like what the fuck?
Speaker 3:so people were like, okay, of course everyone wants the ps5. So the one girl I guess she just kind of like got pissed off about. It's like, hey, kind of like chided the fucking guy. It's like, hey, this is like not what this is supposed to be. Man, and I'm just like man, that sounds like a horrible time, just people fighting over it's not ps5 and it's not bad when it's with family, like yeah, yeah I mean I go into it and with the notion that I don't care whether I get anything or I do you know you know um.
Speaker 1:I just go into because it's fun. I like the excitement of being like that could be a turd it could be an actual turn.
Speaker 3:It's almost like deal or no deal it is 100 I love it.
Speaker 4:I think it's exciting for me.
Speaker 1:I love it. I think it's so much fun.
Speaker 3:It's like that could be a real turd or that could be something cool see, I would actually, if there was a possibility of actual shit being in a gift bag or in a box, then to me that just ups the excitement. So I think I'm kind of sold on that now if there's coal in a box or something, yeah hey, that's a natural resource you can do whatever there should be like red herring gifts.
Speaker 3:To me it's like a like a gift in, like a in like a ps5 box, but inside of it it's something different I love that.
Speaker 1:That's what my sister did.
Speaker 3:She I had the other big box, yeah but there's something else in it, like something it was a huge fucking box with a bunch of paper in it. It had 20 scratch off lottery tickets dude all the way I dumped it out and I'm like there's nothing in here. They're like yeah, there is up there, it is big old bunches I just that'd be funny if it's just wrapping paper inside like oh, I think I won like 11 or something out of it.
Speaker 1:Well, I end up giving it to my nephew. I was like here, dude, you can have it, I don't go, I don't fucking need it.
Speaker 3:Take it, dude I never went off scratch offs like at all, ever, ever, never win. Carrie wins sometimes. My mother-in-law says she wins all the time, but I always wonder how many things she loses first before she actually wins. You always hear of people's wins, you never hear of people's losses. So my mother-in-law be oh yeah, 100 bucks on scratch off. Like how the fuck do you keep winning all the time? My, then my father-in-law will be like oh yeah, 100 bucks On scratch. I'm like how the fuck do you keep winning all the time? Then my father-in-law will chime in the only time he ever chimes in, like hey, see how much she loses in a week. I'm like, oh okay, I hear you, playa, I hear you, but it's like I play him every now and then I'm just like god damn, damn dude, this is, it's fun, but it's like it's just like the odds are so long and it's like I'd rather just put my money in a fucking slot machine and see what happens, because that's the same difference.
Speaker 1:I'd rather just keep my money that's why I'm true, I'm, oh sure, absolutely one of those goofy fuckers that wishes he would win the lottery but never plays it. It's hard to win when you don't play the motherfucker.
Speaker 3:It's like it's just like you get excited for the, for the mega millions. It gets to like 1.4 billion and you're like, all right, what it's like? Oh, it's three dollars. Uh, how do I just keep this three dollars, or two dollars? I think it's going up to four dollars next year, this year actually.
Speaker 3:So I never play the lottery. It's a loser tax, it's what they call it. It's a fucking loser tax. Now will I partake in? Here's me talking like down on the lottery.
Speaker 3:But I also, you know I'll make bets here and there, but I love blackjack. That's my vice. If I had a betting vice or a gambling vice, it'd be blackjack. But with blackjack, you know it's, it's the, even though, yeah, your, your odds of winning against the house are still, you know, but it's the smallest margin, is like 0.015 against the house. It's the smallest margin of any table games in the casino. But it depends if the casino has, say, three, or like five to six to four blackjack, which means that you only get like 1.25 of your bet back on a blackjack, versus three to two, which is one and a half. That makes the odds go higher. Two, a lot of casinos have automatic deck shufflers, so it's really hard to keep count if you're counting cards, what the count is. And not only that, that makes the house advantage go up too. But I play home.
Speaker 3:I like to play online sometimes, even though it's not technically legal. But you have to use bitcoin. I have to get. I tell you, I've never I don't know how people do this bitcoin thing it is the biggest pain in the dick I've ever had to fuck with. I don't know how people do this. Like you know, hedge this fucking with Bitcoin. I had to buy Bitcoin, do this online casino and it was like going through 10 different hoops. You have to buy it off this, then you have to exchange it to this wallet, then you had to upload it to this thing, then you, by the time you buy it, by the time it gets to the casino. Based on how long it took you to do that, the market could have fluctuated this way or that way. So either you lost four or five, six dollars in the exchange, or maybe you gained three or four dollars, but there's always something. You always have to pay a little bit in a fee to get that money. Step to each step, you have to pay a little bit.
Speaker 3:It's like so, if I wanted to play a hundred dollars on an online casino because ohio doesn't ohio you can gamble but you can't play online, which I wish they would change that. So I have to go to these fucking offshore casinos and I have to. So if I play a hundred dollars, I have to probably take out like $130, $140 because there's fees at every which way when you exchange the Bitcoin from wallet to wallet, because some wallets don't allow you to upload to casinos. So you have to kind of, it's such a pain in the ass I don't recommend it. I'd rather Ohio just pass an online gambling law so we could just I could play blackjack online willy nilly with united states casinos. So I gotta play casinos on with panama with people who have like fucking, like accents, like uh, do you like to hit or stay, sir? I'm like I don't, I don't trust you.
Speaker 1:No, are you playing like real? Like is it real people?
Speaker 3:yeah, it's real people, real, it's live dealers. Yeah, it's live, it's live dealers. Actually, I'll show you. Yeah, please, I'll show you where I go. I go Bovada, so you go to live dealer. I will proceed and it's going to ask me for like my login. I'm not gonna put it in uh I don't know what any of that is, so is it just a?
Speaker 3:live dealer dealer in front of a camera. Yeah, in front of a camera, camera. Well, let's get. It's asking me my login, but you get the gist, yeah. So, like this is an all you know, basically an online casino. It actually has slots, so it has slots and poker and stuff, and then it has its own sports book. It is legit. I've won money here, and I've actually. So when I, when I win money, I have to go the opposite direction with it, you know. So I have to take it from the casino to that, to my other wallet, to this wallet and back to my. You know, whatever I'm using, to my bank account fees.
Speaker 1:Doing that too I'd get charged.
Speaker 3:No, I only get charge fees uploading, not. Or? Uh, I only get charged fees with depositing, not withdraw. Yeah, only depositing, not withdrawing. So you would think it'd be the other way around, but uh, some places have fees, some don't, but they probably do that because I know you're gonna lose it all yeah well, like some of these have like uh, if you're new, they'll give you a bunch of bonuses and stuff, just like any other place.
Speaker 3:Let's see if my password works. Oh, okay, I'm in Live dealer Gold tier games. Oh, they changed all this.
Speaker 1:Give me a dealer with her titties out. Sweet dude, do you talk to her through the mic? Yeah, so what?
Speaker 4:do you, do you talk to her through the mic or do you talk?
Speaker 3:so? So yeah, it's a live dealer. So if I wanted to, so if I had money in my dude, you mute your mic. Yeah, I muted, I muted the. Well, he can't hear me.
Speaker 1:You could, you could chat with the guy, with the dealer oh, he can't hear, you can't hear me, you could chat with him though oh, I was wondering because I was like man do I need to be quiet? No, I can't say, show me your tits, bro I got 83 cents left, so but um so if I wanted to.
Speaker 3:so if I wanted to sit in on the game, I could watch as long as I want, or I could bet behind these players. So you could put bets on the players. So if the table's full you could bet behind these guys and whatever plays they make, it's stupid because if they play bad you'll lose. So if I wanted to join, I could sit here. But if I don't make a bet they'll kick me off.
Speaker 1:But but oh really, they all. They'll kick you off If you don't yeah, if you.
Speaker 3:well, I could. No, I could just sit here and watch. But if I don't make a bet on the first hand, it'll boot me off the seat, so you have to actually play. See, their blackjack pays 3 to 2. That's good, that's 1.5. You get 1.5 times your bet. So a lot of casinos in Vegas they pay 6 to 5. That's only 1.25. And that actually makes the casinos. It makes their odds of winning against you higher, or it makes the house's advantage against you higher. So he scans these cards over this little scanner and he actually uses a real shoe, so he doesn't have one of those automatic card shuffler things, but he only plays like half the shoe. So counting cards is really hard Because they only play like half the shoot. So he can't really counting cards is really hard because they only play like half the shoe. So by the time you realize, like, what the count is, it's too late.
Speaker 1:so oh yeah, I'd stick with that but yeah, it's, it's.
Speaker 3:This is legit. I like said I've you would think it'd be sketchy. You know you're playing. You're playing a live dealership game on an overseas. You know blackjack game, so so right now dealer has a to I mean 21 dudes got 21, 7, he's gonna get a 10, 14, he's got bust, he's gonna bust 17.
Speaker 3:Okay, uh, dealer sticks. Dealer will stand on 17 and I think it's either a soft or hard 17 ao. So so if you beat 17, you're good, yeah, if you beat 17, you're good, and he will I think here um, yeah, see, dealer must stand on 17 and must draw to 16 so. So I think if you had an ace, an ace could be one or 11. So I think it has to be a hard 17, meaning that it's not an ace. An ace isn't a one and an 11.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so what you're saying is it has to be a hard 17, like it has to be a one ace, an ace one. Yeah. So yeah, that's, that's damn, you got 21 right off. The rip to the side in your seat.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, yeah, you won 21. Oh, you got 21. 20. Lucky these guys are. See, I bet you he'll probably have 20, also 15. He got a hit. I hope he's staying for. Oh shit, he could bust. Oh, he did. He busted, busted out. So yeah, sometimes I'll upload like a hundred bucks if I got the money. See, this table's a hundred dollar fucking limit. Dude, this. This table's a high table, man I'm I'm getting out of here, so yeah, that's that's yeah, I couldn't stare at that guy for an hour playing.
Speaker 3:But I like some big titties. I go to the chicks dude. The chicks will have like their fucking titties hanging out and stuff too.
Speaker 1:I'd be like Chattin. Can you show me one of them, nippies.
Speaker 3:They'll kick you out.
Speaker 1:Flick a coin to her, but here's a little tipski for that nipski, a little tipski from the Nitski, so yeah, so you all got to hear of my degenerative gambling habit. Well, dude, it's not like you're addicted to it. I'm not, you're addicted to it.
Speaker 3:I tell you, I can see why people get addicted to it. Especially when you go to the brick and mortar casino and you're just everyone's like, yeah, and you get free drinks and food, yeah, dude, and everyone's just treating you like a fucking king, and I'm just like I could get used to this, and it's like I tell you what I remember.
Speaker 1:Getting hooker to ride your knob while you're on the slot machine.
Speaker 3:Is it true? They got prostitution in Vegas, outside the city limits? Well, we're going to actually take a break and then we'll be back, and first, though, you're going to listen to this chaotic mess.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what a fucking turd sandwich. We'll be right back. So there you stand and you just wanna show them your voluptuous sea cup, big ass tits. I'm sorry, I ran Back to the restroom because, you know, daddy had the shits One paper towel, toilet paper. It's touching me, I'm busting you. Oh shit, I'm fine. I'm shitting my brains out in the stall god damn it's a crime. Out in the stall, the stall, god damn it's a crime. Now I guess I'll touch my ball, touch the poop and stuff. Looking at night, when I go back home and give the tuber to my wife, she pulls out my pee-pee, the pee-pee, then she grabs the tip and goes to the kitchen, gets a butcher knife. What the fuck Goes to the kitchen? Gets a butcher knife.
Speaker 4:What the fuck.
Speaker 1:One. No touching one. Don't touch my penis.
Speaker 3:With your mouth. With your mouth.
Speaker 1:Damn that shit's sharp. Cut my penis with that blade. That blade, that blade, that blade, I'm so inclined, I want to stick my finger in your rusty starfish. Think about it, just think about it. That taco's mine. Don't touch the damn thing. God damn, you seem to piss me off, piss me off. I want it. It's mine. Extra sour cream and chives.
Speaker 4:That thing is mine.
Speaker 1:Two or three fingers should be good. It's good, it's good, it's good. I want to slap my beefy tuber in your striking punanski. Are you Polish? Thank you.
Speaker 4:Yo, what's up? Welcome back to the Best Freaking.
Speaker 2:Podcast it's Everyday with Jon and Jay baby.
Speaker 1:Listen, you don't keep listening. I'm coming over to your house and licking your wife's asshole, Sticking my tongue up on your dirt butt. You got that, motherfucker.
Speaker 4:Now check it out All right.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to it's Every Day with Jon and Jay. We're back from our break. Thank you to my dude, Jon, here playing my theme song. This is my unofficial theme song for my football team in our fantasy football league. I ended up winning the championship by one goddamn point. One point, George Kittle, you fucker.
Speaker 3:Dude, that was probably one of the best championship games I've ever. I've been in fantasy football a long time.
Speaker 1:There's George Kittle.
Speaker 3:He's pissed there he is oh, he actually sent you a message. He says congrats.
Speaker 1:Congrats, you're welcome. Okay, so listen to this. This is how much of a puckered butthole I'm flipping out. This is fucking amazing, crazy, fucking amazing. Okay, so I'm going against John's brother, justin, who's been in the league for three years and made it to the big show, which is amazing in itself.
Speaker 3:He doesn't know shit.
Speaker 1:He's a guru now. Yeah he knows now, but he is but to make it to the big show, to the big dance. And I think what was his record? It was a 6-5?
Speaker 3:It was 6-8.
Speaker 1:6-8. So 1-6, lost 8,. Beat out everybody in his division.
Speaker 3:Beat the 1 and 2 seeds? Yes.
Speaker 1:Which one of them was your wife, I think right, it was yeah.
Speaker 3:Because John's wife was a powerhouse too, yeahhouse, she's pretty good too, which is weird. Fucking um so Burrow, and.
Speaker 1:Jamar chase fucking All right, she's got that 12 point. She does that every year, she does that, she gets that 12 point stack dude.
Speaker 3:It's a good strategy too, she don't like last year.
Speaker 1:She already was last year's two. Uh tyree kill, tyree kill.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she had jaylen waddle too, I think yeah, she likes to stack those wide, wider cedars.
Speaker 1:It's a very risky thing. You know what reminds me of your uncle adam with matt ryan. He used to do that shit all the time with like julio or something, yeah you pick julio. Uh, who was the other dude um roddy white?
Speaker 3:roddy white roddy, rowdy, rowdy.
Speaker 1:Roddy used to pick matt ryan and a whole bunch of fucking atlanta it was you have the whole Atlanta team on your fucking thing. But anyway so this is where I was like okay, I got this, okay, so all of his games were in the early window, so he had four. He had, like, josh Allen at four, which was that was my biggest worry, and I'm cussing at this dude because he's throwing touchdown after touchdown.
Speaker 2:I'm getting pissed.
Speaker 1:I'm like you, piece of shit, do it like last week. So anyway, he comes in by the end of the earlier mid-game Sunday. He is four points ahead of me. I'm like shit, you know, because if I was winning, it was done. I had two players, he had nobody else left to play. We're done, I win and that's it. Instead, four points, not a big problem, usually Not a big problem. So we go into the late night. I've got Aaron Jones on Minnesota. I'm like okay, we both match up because he still does have players, but I have the same players playing, so we both had Jordan Addison.
Speaker 3:Our rules are a little wonky. It's fun. I won't go into it.
Speaker 1:And Justin Jefferson. Dude, we have both of them. So those cancel out. So I have Aaron Jones. Come on, aaron, Get some yards, get some catches, Get a touchdown, get a touchdown. It's all over, I don't have to worry about shit, Right right touchdown.
Speaker 4:it's all over I don't have to worry about shit. Right, he goose eggs it, he gets hurt and he's out and he goose egg. So I'm okay goose stepped.
Speaker 1:So it comes down to george kittle and the throwing ability of brock purdy on the 49ers, which has been subpar usually. I had a. I had a company christmas party and this was Monday night and so I'm at the you know getting drinking and I'm watching, like the score, nothing yet blah, blah, blah. I go home. I'm like I told my wife I said, babe, I'm watching football, I'm just letting you know. You know, you can sit on your side of the world, you can come sit with me, but football's on. I'm in the championship. I said I gotta fucking watch this. I gotta see if this dude's gonna pull out for me or else I'm gonna lose. So I get you know I'm watching football. I look at the stats pull up on the bottom of the screen and we're coming in the fourth quarter. George kittle six catches, which gets me two points.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're down four so I only need three points to win yeah, three points to doing I'm like he needs 100 yards.
Speaker 3:This motherfucker had 94 yards, yeah in our league it's 100, 100 yards for three points, which that sounds ridiculous if you play traditional fantasy football, but we're we're a touchdown based league, so you'd understand it if you played in it it's a lot of fun, but it's hard, very hard so I'm waiting for this dude.
Speaker 1:The dude, george kittleittle gets thrown a 15-yard pass.
Speaker 3:That's plenty, that's it Game over.
Speaker 1:I jumped up I'm not kidding, dude. I jumped up, looked at my wife and said I just fucking won, I fucking won. And then all of a sudden it's like well, well, I hear the TV. There's a flag on the play. Oh, flag, there's a flag on the play. Oh, that's the worst feeling ever. I'm like okay, was what was it? Was it pass interference on the defense?
Speaker 3:what was going on?
Speaker 1:I didn't see a man downfield yes, a fucking idiot. I was cussing at him. I was like you, fat blonde, fat, fucking piece I was like what? No way, that was crazy I was drunk, I was a little bit drinking, you know, because I was pissed I almost texted you and I'm like oh, oh, you would have. I would have been like, yeah, I would have said the same thing. I would have been like fucking blonde, fat, fucking piece of shit.
Speaker 3:I was laughing so hard at that. I'm like, dude, this is going to. There was, like, I think, four minutes left and it was getting really close to the nitty-gritty there. I'll let you keep going on your side.
Speaker 1:Well, I've watched it this year, where I've seen players go 99 yards and I get it.
Speaker 3:Yep, it happens.
Speaker 1:So I'm waiting. I wait a little bit longer. I'm like come on, Throw to Kittle Purdy, you fucking idiot. And he threw an interception, I think.
Speaker 3:Yep, oh, yep.
Speaker 1:He threw an interception. They came down, they're throwing. I'm like all right, well, they have to throw now because they're not. They have to get that lead. They have to try and dumb it. You know he throws to, so he throws a pass to who's the other fucking Like Pershaw or whatever?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:He kept throwing to him.
Speaker 3:Quit fucking throwing to him, dude Ricky Pershaw with the bullet holes in his chest.
Speaker 1:And then there was a seven-yard pass to Kittle to give me one yard over the 100-yard marker. No flags, I was waiting for it, no flags. I just told my wife. I stepped up and I stood up and I told my wife, I said, babe, I just fucking won, I can't believe it, I just fucking won, I just did. I, you know it was an up and down roller coaster, like when you it's almost like it's awesome making it to the big game and even if you know, losing in the big game is is is. That's the most demoralizing for me. I don't know to me, because I had to go, you, you, you had to do it all year and you busted your ass and you did everything and you, you watched the waivers and all this shit yep, and my team, no joke.
Speaker 1:When we first started, the year was rated a b. Like everybody else had a's, except for me and steve had b's yeah and I'm like damn dude, this team looks pretty good for being a b, you know. And then you know, it lasted all year and, like john said, dude I, I drafted christian mccaffrey right off the rim you survived that that's not a lot of people who had the first pick survived that christian mccaffrey pick.
Speaker 3:A lot of those teams did really poor. But you, you, uh, the back, like the middle, like the last part quarter of your draft, the first part. There you, you got lamar jackson and and sequin barkley. Again, these rosters are loaded, so it's not like we're all a bunch of goobs and tacos, but it's like we have loaded rosters but harder scoring rules if that's what I love about this league.
Speaker 1:Man is uh, and I'll like kind of explain a little bit. What I love about this league is that we have that, and I'll kind of explain a little bit. What I love about this league is that we have two divisions, and that's the reason why they're loaded. There's six people in each division.
Speaker 3:Yeah, two different draft pools.
Speaker 1:Yes, and we draft at the same time on each division but it's separate drafts so they get like, if I draft Christian McCaffrey, somebody else is drafting Christian McCaffrey. So what happens is we play our own division first, everybody in our own division. Then we go inter-division play and when you do that you have to be tactical about shit. So okay, justin Jefferson should, and I'm playing him. Should I play him and counter out his guy, or should I try to play somebody better? Who's gonna?
Speaker 1:give me more points, yeah most of the time I'm gonna cancel out that guy I can't.
Speaker 3:That's usually shitty unless it's a shitty player right, like if it's a, if it's a fringe start player where it's like I'm gonna try to like press my luck there, but if it's a, no doubt about it starter justin jefferson.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're, you're leaving them in there. Jordan addison, justin jefferson's but if, but, if it's a no-doubt-about-it starter.
Speaker 3:Justin Jefferson. Yeah, you're leaving him in there. Jordan Addison, justin Jefferson. But if it's a fringe player like Drake London or something, I'll give an example. There I'm like, eh, I'll try to press my luck there. If he's starting Drake London and I have him too, I think I'm going to try. If I have somebody I think who's better or has a better matchup, I think I'm gonna press my luck.
Speaker 1:No, whammy stop yeah but it makes it so much more challenging and a lot more fun and I think that like I like it because it's different than the usual espn, yahoo, bullshit, dude you know, I'd rather, I don't know, I like. I like it because, and then also I like it because it's close-knit, it's family, like almost everybody in this. They're all like john's friends and like john's brothers, both of his brothers and his dad and my wife and his wife who's actually pretty good I had my nephew in it for a couple years.
Speaker 1:He just got too busy. That's, it's fine. And then, um, my, my brother's been in it for a while, I'm in it.
Speaker 3:And then, um, god, dude, I got a few friends that I know from my old work and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:The guy I've known for like 25 years yeah, and I think we're gonna um, and then blake blake's ready to go. Dude, okay, yeah okay, so we're gonna be having um blake, who sat in on our podcast that's right. Yeah, he did a while ago um, and he's talking about recording us too, by the way.
Speaker 4:So he can probably do that.
Speaker 1:Okay, but um, but yeah, blake's gonna be taking over one of our positions, I believe as well. So and he's just I don't know he'll have fun. He's huge lions fan, which I think is fun. We got a lot of browns. We've got, I don't know, a bang a.
Speaker 3:Bengals, Bengals fan A couple Bengals. Oh, a Steeler. I think we've got a Steelers fan too. Who's a Steeler? Josh, I think. I think he's a.
Speaker 3:Steelers fan. No, maybe he's a Bengals fan, I don't know. He's a Canadian, so who knows, you can't tell. So he's a lions fan. Actually. The lions are doing really well. Lions are beast. See the like the lions rebuild is almost what the browns should have been doing and it's like it's completely the opposite direction. Not good. No, I got nothing against the line. Then again, I like I have no really big skin in the nfl. Like I like the browns and I don't I wish they would win, but like if they lose I'm just like, whatever it's, it's no skin off my ass my fantasy team is what saves me from that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, ohio state and the brown, and uh, yeah and uh speaking of ohio state, it's refreshing to see a team play to their potential, which I was talking about almost a month ago. Gee, it's such a novel concept. Playing to your strengths, you have two dynamic wide receivers, probably maybe the best player in college football, arguably Smith and Dabuka and. Dabuka and you just sling it around the fucking field, use tempo, then you mix in the run a little bit. To keep them honest, ohio State's strength is its pass.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, but Will Howard is a great quarterback. He's a fucking quarterback.
Speaker 3:If Ohio State's offensive line, which has been much maligned all year because it had a few injuries, if Ohio State's offensive line gives Will Howard time to throw, he's going to pick your ass apart, namely throwing it to one, mr jeremiah smith. And I tell you what that kid? It could go number one in the nfl right now. No doubt he would. He would be number one in the nfl draft and he's only a true freshman thing.
Speaker 1:He's gonna get heisman that's why you don't wide receivers don't really get a chance on it.
Speaker 3:Well, travis hunter. He, he got the heisman and he was, he was. But the thing is, you know what travis hunter is? That, yeah, he played both ways, but he wasn't even in like oh, he's gay bisexual yeah, he was gay, he goes both ways see, it's just a woke, the heisman's, just a woke. Trophy now gives it to do to go both ways. Travis hunter, I hate colorado they're just media darlings because of dion's?
Speaker 1:they're just media darling is dion's kid on that team yeah, shador sanders is the quarterback.
Speaker 3:I think he's mediocre. I don't think he's that good name is shador shador. What the fuck? Yeah, dude, I, I, I don't, even I dislike the top four in next year's draft and the browns are probably gonna pick somebody out of that pool. And I don't cam ward from the miami hurricanes. I don't think he's. He's okay, but he's not great, he's. I don't think he's a franchise quarterback. I think the browns should trade down and try to get like a lineman, an offensive lineman, because the Browns offensive lineman line is bad. It's not good anymore.
Speaker 1:What do you get when Chad Johnson takes a shit? What's that? An Ocho Stinko? Hey, I figured you would have got that right off. You did after I said Ocho.
Speaker 3:It actually just popped in my brain right when Ocho Stinko.
Speaker 2:Ocho Stinko oh.
Speaker 1:But no, doris Sanders.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, poor kid.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but Ohio State has Texas in the cotton bowl in a week or so, so, uh, we'll see what happens there which is on a plantation, I believe it's in dallas.
Speaker 1:So, oh my god I said it's in big daddy's property daddy, I said, I said now you want me to treat him like white folk?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I didn't say, that did I. I didn't say that. You know that Peckerwood boy down from the store.
Speaker 3:You know, jerry, peckerwood boy Treat him like Jerry, there you go, darling, that it darling, treat him like Jerry.
Speaker 1:He ain't like any of the other niggas around here. If you've never seen Django, you need to watch this movie, django Unchained, is so good. You want me to treat him like wife of? No, that was like a no. No, Tom Johnson, dude Dude he killed that part dude, he nailed it he did really well.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, but yeah, no joke, what a great. It just capped off a great weekend. Had a great, uh company party with my, with my crew, um, at the the level up the store I work at, and, um, I don't know. Just a lot of fun, dude, I love it it's.
Speaker 3:I didn't go to my company christmas party this year. You didn't know. I'm kind of surprised. Usually you do. Carrie really likes to go to, but it's my dad's birthday that weekend, so fuck, yeah, fuck him.
Speaker 1:Take him, dude. Take my dad. She's just taking your daddy when he had to fucking cook or nothing well, probably cost me another 25 to bring someone extra no, don't take care of you, just take your dad just don't take carrie, take my dad instead. You go dress him up like et the woman dude when he dressed like a woman elliot home, home, home. Do you think they ever fucked et dude like while you dress like a woman?
Speaker 3:you ever found et attractive when he dresses dude?
Speaker 1:did you know there's an et porn? Shut the fuck up there is no, there's not.
Speaker 3:Yes, there is, look it up. No way, dude, look it up shut up, there's an et porn dude porn home et porn et porn. Shut up et porn. Part two. I I should really have my sound off when I when I click on this shut, the fuck up, shut up I'm gonna hit play on this.
Speaker 4:I got the sound off. The sound should be on, okay I'll put the sound on yeah, we need some sound for this dude.
Speaker 1:You gotta hear where's et?
Speaker 3:what is that? I want to see where ET gets fucked.
Speaker 1:Did ET have a dick oh?
Speaker 4:no, his finger, he's figuring her.
Speaker 3:Where's ET getting fucked?
Speaker 2:What the fuck? What the fuck man, what?
Speaker 3:the fuck man, I can't do it.
Speaker 1:I can't take that voting dude All I got to say is if you're listening to this at work, people are looking at you really good yeah, please do not.
Speaker 3:Not safe for work warning. Not safe for work warning.
Speaker 1:He's got a nice pussy, though you know what they should be doing rain like when they come, they should come reach these pieces all over them.
Speaker 3:See, I'm kind of mad that there's no real story that involves et per se it's. It's just like they're fucking, they're just fucking a really really bad alien costume.
Speaker 1:So the head's not bad.
Speaker 3:The head actually does not look that bad, but otherwise, otherwise it looks like et the extra testicle. Is that what it is?
Speaker 2:no way, that's what it's called or is there another one?
Speaker 1:oh, please tell me, it's another one, another one is it a better one?
Speaker 3:I'm not gonna turn the sound on, did you?
Speaker 1:see. Did you see the? Part yeah, I think dude, we should add the sound on just for a little bit.
Speaker 2:He was jerking off. Wait, wait, wait, he was jerking off. That's why he got left behind, dude I.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm gonna keep playing. Special effects are really well done.
Speaker 1:Now he's depressed. Now it's sad, fucking Please tell me he fucks women.
Speaker 3:He finishes. Oh, I thought he was gonna.
Speaker 1:Oh, please tell me he fucks a woman with it.
Speaker 2:He's dressed in the fucking old lady costume.
Speaker 3:You should make like sounds.
Speaker 2:Look at his fucking dick.
Speaker 3:He looks like a bug, a big giant bug.
Speaker 1:That'd be awesome, as if he didn't.
Speaker 3:That's what I'm waiting on, Like I'm trying to find the pop shot here.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, the frog part.
Speaker 3:Hey, at least they're being, you know, faithful to the original, to the source material. Yeah, they're being faithful to the source material.
Speaker 2:Dude. He's watching porn.
Speaker 3:Dude, please tell me he makes I love the music in the background.
Speaker 1:That's ET. Yeah Shoot, he hits the screen, dude.
Speaker 2:It's glowing. This thing is glowing what it's glowing like a sphincter.
Speaker 4:Oh, I wanted to shoot all over this oh my God, dude but dude.
Speaker 1:The glow part the glow. This was better than the other one.
Speaker 3:This is way better than the other one. The extra testicle oh my god, I'm gonna change the college. I gotta see the ending of this.
Speaker 4:I gotta see the ad to get this ET. Thank you, et like.
Speaker 1:Ike. It actually has a decent storyline, dude Like at least, and that's a lot better than the other one where ET, like I'll see you next time.
Speaker 3:Maybe your girlfriend will be I like how you can hear him walking around the room.
Speaker 2:The bad greed screen does it for me right here Her name's Ellie.
Speaker 4:I like that.
Speaker 2:Did you see the cock come?
Speaker 4:She's crying too, we love you.
Speaker 2:That's the end of it.
Speaker 3:Not terrible. You know what? I did not hate that, to be honest.
Speaker 1:Okay, just type it Google and type it ET the extra testicle and you won't be disappointed, because that was S tier level of awesome. The only one I really want to watch is the 10 inch mutant ninja turtles. I really want to watch that one time.
Speaker 3:So like she's getting plowed by somebody.
Speaker 4:It's so far in your pussy right now.
Speaker 1:Oh, there you go.
Speaker 2:Ah, there you go, dude, lots of calm.
Speaker 4:Oh, my God.
Speaker 1:We found the ET money shop Dude we found the ET money.
Speaker 3:Shop 39, shop Dude, we found the ET money shop 39, about 38 minutes. 39 minutes in. He's like I don't want to come. Oh my God, the part dude he's. It's the part where, dude, they're really faithful to the source material. You got to give them props for that. You know they have the frogs being released part, and you know ET watching. You know they have the the frogs being released par and you know et watching. You know tv.
Speaker 1:He's watching porn and his little glowy dick fucking spurts everywhere I like how we were talking about don johnson and now we're watching porn yeah, we, yeah, we trade bucky larson, bucky larson because don johnson is in that. That's true, that's really kind of a one director, yeah kind of an interesting one-to-one thing we just did there.
Speaker 3:I've got to see if there's comments on this anywhere.
Speaker 1:It's just a bunch of porn. I don't know.
Speaker 3:Some porn sites, some tube sites, have comments. Oh, I don't know if I'll have comments. Wow, oh yeah, that's two comments. Yep, that made my night. Actually, when you leave, I'm going to watch the whole thing I don't blame you. Just letting you know that I'm going to get really comfy because the wife is not home right now. This is going up on the television everybody. There's no greater feeling than watching porn on the TV. I know that way you can truly unwind.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm perplexed man, I, I just, I don't know et the extra testicle, the extra testicle, what? What's, what's like? You watch a lot of like parody porns. I can't stand them, though, unless they're for you know just jokingly.
Speaker 1:Like I said, the one I really want to watch is 10 inch mutant ninja turtles.
Speaker 3:There's turtles that fuck April.
Speaker 1:Yes, shut up 10 inch mutant ninja turtles. Remember because the girl's name is really April O'Neil.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's the real. Yeah, okay, april O'Neil, the porn star, she's cool. You know what you should do? We should pick a random movie and see if there's a porn parody yeah forrest gump uh, but for some force tom, they're probably forrest gump porn.
Speaker 1:Oh, there has to be your ass is like a box of chocolate dude four skin gump, oh my god that's awesome. Oh, my fucking god 1994.
Speaker 3:I don't know if I'll be able to find it anywhere, though, for skin gump, oh oh.
Speaker 1:Here's a list of the eight most ridiculous porn parodies ever oh my god, there's a part there's a spongebob one spongebob squarepants spongebob square nuts I've even said that spongebob squarepants, who lives in a pineapple Lego porn. Oh my God, here we go.
Speaker 3:Foreskin Dump, here we go Right. When I was talking about here, skin happens.
Speaker 1:Edward Penis Hands. Edward Penis Hands. I remember that one.
Speaker 3:This ain't Game of Thrones. Why would you make a porn parody of Game of Thrones when it's in itself has a bunch of stuff?
Speaker 1:in it. It's pretty porn yeah porn horrific.
Speaker 3:The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Oh, jesus Christ, this ain't Avatar. I can only imagine.
Speaker 1:I love porn spoofs. I think they're funny.
Speaker 3:Would I ever get off to a porn spoof?
Speaker 1:I don't know there is, like in diana jones, in the temple of poon, the idea yeah the temple of poon.
Speaker 3:But see, the thing is, I'd be like I'd be trying to compare and contrast the porn parody with the actual movie, because that's how. That's a much of a loser. I am now even in the et when I was like you know what they? They really did a good job with the source material.
Speaker 1:That's the only thing on my mind and what about back to the future?
Speaker 3:oh, or ghostbusters shut up. I have to look that up. It's gonna be interesting to see how the AI for this week Dr Spankman Dr. Spankman Warthog doesn't really give you good results. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:Jesus, jesus, hello Is anybody there, dude, it's the beginning of the movie. It's like the beginning of the movie oh dude, this is awesome. Dude, she's hot as fuck too. I will say that this was like something out of the early 2000s.
Speaker 3:I'm actually kind of enthralled by this. I am paying attention in more than one way way. I just want to see these special effects.
Speaker 2:Are those dildos flying around?
Speaker 1:Looks like it Ghost dicks.
Speaker 3:She's getting very comfortable right now. She's being possessed by Goher Hoser. She's getting very comfortable right now. She's being possessed by Go-Her, gozer-her, hoser, hoser, hoser. Oh yeah, there you go. You're good at that, you're good at that.
Speaker 2:Is this dick?
Speaker 1:hanging down this dick's, hanging down this ghost dick's hanging down.
Speaker 3:It's actually not bad. The special effects are actually not horrible for like a port.
Speaker 2:He's gonna put a stick in her mouth.
Speaker 3:Let me see if she's gonna wake up and get scared or something.
Speaker 4:What.
Speaker 3:Hold up, hold up. I gotta turn this up for the Thief song. Dude, that's bad.
Speaker 4:That's bad.
Speaker 3:Dude.
Speaker 1:I was buying into that until that last shot with the guy going that was horrible.
Speaker 3:That was bad. Okay. There's a lot of comments under this. They ruined this video. I would have had the ghost pulling down her panties and up with her skirt and then the video would have continued like it started to, with the ghost fucking her face, her not waking up and her not going to real life. We all know how it should have ended, with a bunch of cum running down her chin.
Speaker 1:It's fucking so pretty much like Scary Movie 2.
Speaker 3:And I was just just gonna make that comparison it's 100. Like scary movie too. Where what was it um tory spelling? Yeah, yeah, wow pulls up around what, what ah?
Speaker 2:fucking monday and it's wednesday yeah, like ah wednesday and she's wearing Monday underwear. Come here, no Baby.
Speaker 1:You were only a booty call. You were only a booty call.
Speaker 3:So yeah, the theme song was awesome, but it was ruined. I was really buying into the special effects a little bit. I'm like boy, there's some work Went into this. And then that last little shot, when she wakes up he's like they should have kept the CGI shit, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then she last little shot when she wakes up. He's like, it's like hey, they should have kept the cgi shit yeah.
Speaker 3:And then like she should have been like ah. And then like the busters, yeah, into her mouth, into her mouth, yeah that would have been awesome, but it got ruined, so whatever, and with that said, we're gonna end the evening. Um jason, nothing like porn spoofs.
Speaker 3:Nothing like porn spoofs we always your night we always, we always get on the subject of porn spoofs, but today we decided to go a little in-depth, if you will, a little deep. We went deeper into it, if you will. Do you have any departing words? Where are we at tonight?
Speaker 1:No, not really. I just want to say thank you to everybody who listens to us, you know. Hopefully everybody had a great new year. Make 2025 your best yet, man. Yeah.
Speaker 4:That's pretty much it, pretty much it. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 3:Thank you all around the fucking world.
Speaker 4:Thank you, fish in a barrel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we appreciate everybody's uh, fish people are the barrel fish in a barrel.
Speaker 3:We appreciate everyone's uh uh listenership throughout the years going on. Our third year now. So, uh, we can't wait for 2025 and you know we got some good things in store, so we can't wait to show that to you. Or, you know, unveil that, if you will. We won't unveil any sort of like ghost cocks or anything like that or maybe we will you never?
Speaker 1:know, so just uh be on the lookout for that, uh we're gonna be doing um john and j and Jay clone of Willie kits that you can actually buy for your significant other or for yourself.
Speaker 3:We're going to put it on Etsy, so go ahead and look for that there.
Speaker 1:Or John and Jay themed penis stockings to help keep your dingus warm in the cold winter months that are coming up. It'll be like a little hat.
Speaker 3:It is. It's a house for your bat, hats for your bats. Keep bats wall gross. With that said, we appreciate you listening. We'll see you next time. I'm john bricker and I'm jason sugar. See you later, later, guys.